Family Imperfect
by Jaclyn Parker
Summary: When a madman is loose on the streets of Oakdale, intent on claiming what he feels is rightfuly his, NO ONE is safe. A CarJack story but with original characters and many other Oakdale faces. NOW UPDATED 02/25/12 WITH CHAPTER 21!
1. Prologue

**Author's Note: Welcome back, everyone! I told you it would be coming in early/mid fall and there could be no better time than now, especially with the amazing storylines coming up for our beloved couple on the actual show. I am really excited about watching again and I am _really_ excited this story. I hope you guys are too! It is going to be quite a ride but then again, what else is new? LOL This time, expect a little more mystery, a little more action, a lot of family and a lot of romance. I can't wait to hear all your thoughts and reviews. I'm starting off a little slower than last time, so updates will be regular but not every other day :) I suggest people re-read the last chapter of True North just to get back into the groove (I confess, I did!).**

**And now...no further ado...ENJOY!!  
~JP**

Family Imperfect: Prologue  
by Jaclyn Parker

_"Evil is just a point of view."  
__~Anne Rice  
_************************************************************************************************************************************************

The dark figure watched from the shadows as the guards searched the grounds, intent on finding their missing patient. He knew that, by now, the Cabot woman's sister had been called and more than likely his message had been relayed.

He wished he could have seen the look on Carly Snyder's face when they announced that her precious sister had been taken. That sense of shock and loss would have been beautiful to behold on such a gorgeous creature. He never did understand how that stupid Oakdale cop had managed to land such an amazing woman but sometimes one could not account for taste. His, for instance, ran mostly to the brunette but the occasional redhead and blonde appealed to him too. It was more their personalities that he found stimulating and he had vowed to find that perfect woman to compliment his desires.

He might have gotten what he wanted a few days earlier, but he had been too eager when inspecting the house in Canada and not been as tidy as he usually was. Consequently, Nicole Davidson had fled from the area with her son before he had gotten a chance to...get to know her better. But, in the end, it did not matter. He knew that they had run away to Oakdale where the woman thought the boy would be safe.

Safe? What a silly line of thinking. Of course young Joshua would be safe. He would never harm a hair on that child's head. He was, after all, the Stenbeck heir. And now it was only a matter of time before he was back where he belonged and everything would be exactly how it was supposed to be.

Chuckling to himself, the man rolled his neck and turned to walk back to his dark van across the street, the letters displayed on the side observable for all to see. Incidentally they were the same as the ones that were imprinted on the dark blue jumpsuit that he wore; taken off another man, whose body they undoubtedly wouldn't find for at least a few months…around the first thaw of spring.

He nodded his head to a passing police officer who merely flicked his eyes in his direction dismissively before hurrying towards the large prestigious clinic, a voice screeching at him in Swiss through his raised walkie-talkie.

With a soft happy whistle, the man climbed into the running vehicle and pulled out into the early morning streets just as another one, identical to his, passed him going to the other way. Taking an on-ramp to the highway, he chuckled again, knowing that it would only be a matter of a couple of hours before they all realized their mistake.

That the license plate of the crime scene van that had been running out front of the clinic earlier wasn't really associated with the private security agency that had been called in to help with the investigation.

He wasn't worried though, because by the time they put out a call to the official police he, and the sleeping cargo he held in the back of his van, would be long gone. They would be on their way to the United States and a small town called Oakdale so he could finally lay claim to what was rightfully his.


	2. Worry Trickles Through The Mind

**Author's Note: Okay, so I'm kinda sad about the lack of reviews. Are you guys interested in this story? I'm not trying to be funny or anything, I seriously want to know.**

**Anways, for those of you who are reading (LOL) I hope you like this chapter. It was the very first one I wrote when this sequel idea came to me and I think it captures our duo pretty nicely. :) ENJOY  
****~JP**

Family Imperfect: part 1  
by Jaclyn Parker

_"Worry is a thin stream of fear trickling through the mind. If encouraged, it cuts a channel into which all other thoughts are drained."  
__~Arthur Somers  
_************************************************************************************************************************************************

Carly pushed the stroller through the police department doors while an officer, who was on his way out, held them open for her. Smiling a thank you, Carly didn't make it past the first desk before the Chief of Police appeared.

"Hey, Carly, I see you brought our mascot to visit."

Margo smiled at her and then promptly bent over to see Emmy.

"Hello there, Gorgeous! Did you come to visit us with your mama?"

Emmy looked up from her multicolored teething ring and gave Margo a wide gummy smile as she babbled back unintelligibly.

"Well, in case you didn't quite get the gist of that, yes we're here to see Jack." Carly said, putting a smile on her face, even though everything inside of her was screaming for her to cut the conversation short. "In fact, if you could just watch her for a second while I talk to him about…"

Carly trailed off and Margo immediately nodded in understanding. "Of course, I'd be happy to."

Before Carly could say anything else, Margo took control of the stroller and headed over to where the coffee pot was situated in the corner of the bullpen. As she pushed she began talking to Emmy about the fine art of making coffee so strong that it would wake someone up with just its smell. Carly amusedly watched her go but her attention was instantly drawn to her husband when he entered the room, his eyes completely focused on a small stack of papers in his hand.

"Jack?"

Carly met him just as he reached his desk and his eyes flew from the paperwork to her face in surprise.

"Carly, what are you doing here?" Jack asked, frowning. "Where's Emmy?"

Carly just pointed and they both couldn't hold back a grin when they caught sight of their youngest daughter.

Margo had taken her out of her stroller and the two were now surrounded by at least five or six uniformed officers chattering away in baby talk. Emmy, who was always happy to be the center of attention, was soaking it up and willingly putting on a one baby show of, "Look How Adorable I Am, Don't You Just Love Me".

"Right, so at least _she's _occupied for the moment." Jack said in amusement and Carly nodded, but then directly turned her attention back to the reason she had come into the station in the first place.

"Jack, is there any news at all about Rosanna? Did they find her?"

At her question, Jack's smile also disappeared and he sadly shook his head. "No, there's nothing new, which isn't surprising since it's been less than 24 hours. I called the clinic again and there's still no sign of her anywhere on the grounds. I put in a call to some guys I still know at the FBI and they are working with Interpol to try and get some answers but, so far, there isn't a trail to follow."

"This is ridiculous!" Carly said, running a frustrated hand through her sleek locks. "She couldn't have just disappeared into thin air, Jack! What about the note?"

"I just got the preliminary results from the lab and so far it's clean." Jack said, holding up the papers he had been so engrossed in a few moments ago. "The paper is generic, the ink that it was written in is from a standard ballpoint pen, and there was no trace evidence to suggest where it had come from. We're still waiting to hear back from the handwriting analyst to see if it matches James Stenbeck's penmanship, but that might take a couple more hours at least, if not a full day."

"I hate this!" Carly sighed and tried to blink back the tears of disappointment she could feel welling up inside of her. "I just…I just wanna know where my sister is. Or if she's alright! Couldn't he have even at least given me _that_?"

Jack placed the papers down and came around to the front of his desk, wrapping her in his embrace and letting her head rest against his heartbeat.

"I know, Baby." He said, rocking her side to side slightly as he pressed soothing kisses to the top of her head. "It's going to be okay."

Neither of them knew if his assurance was true but it was enough, for now, to allow Carly to gather herself together. She pulled away and tilted her head up to kiss him gently on the lips before fully extracting herself from his arms and taking a step back. He let her go and leaned against the edge of his desk, crossing his arms over his chest.

"How are our house guests doing?" Jack asked curiously.

"As well as can be expected." Carly answered and gave a small sigh. "Poor Cab…I mean, Josh…was so tired that he barely managed to eat some breakfast with the rest of the kids before they left for school. Then he fell back asleep, practically on the table. Nicole wasn't faring much better so I made her go lay down with him in the guest room again. When I left the house, they were both out cold."

"Is the guard still outside?" Jack said and Carly nodded.

"Yes, both of them; the one out front and the one across the street in an unmarked car."

"I was hoping you wouldn't notice Tony. How'd did you pick him out?" Jack asked surprised but she just smiled.

"I've been a cop's wife for a while now, Jack… quite a while, actually, if you total all the years together. It would be pretty sad if I couldn't pinpoint an unmarked police car with a undercover cop inside." Carly said, shrugging. "Not to mention, we've needed them ourselves few times."

Jack didn't say anything at that last statement, just hung his head briefly and frowned.

"Jack?"

At the sound of uncertainty in her voice as she said his name, he looked at Carly with a questioning gaze.

"Jack, I don't mean to sound insensitive, really I don't, but…we have our own children's safety to worry about and…"

"You're wondering how long Nicole and Josh are going to be in our house." Jack finished for her and though she looked slightly regretful, Carly nodded.

Jack couldn't blame her, with everything they had all been through in the years, it was a legitimate concern. The fact that whoever was behind all this, whether it be James Stenbeck or not, had taken Carly's sister was bad enough. But to be harboring the two people that were the most likely cause of it all was just putting added target signs on their backs.

"We're going to move them to a safe house nearby this afternoon and hopefully within the next couple of days, we'll get some added help by way of federal bodyguards. We're just waiting on the official okay from the right channels. Um, but until then, I'm going to be staying with them at the safe house." Jack said, causing Carly to frown.

"You're _what_?"

Her exclamation was louder than she had intended, and Jack sent reassuring smiles to the fellow officers that looked their way as he simultaneously shooed Carly into the empty interrogation room behind his desk. Shutting the door, he turned to see her standing by the table, her expression still incredulous and her foot tapping impatiently.

"Carly, listen, it'll only be for a couple days, until Friday maybe, and then I'll be home again."

Before he could even finish his sentence Carly was shaking her head.

"No. _Not_ going to happen." She said, tensely. "Why can't someone else do it?"

"I'm the only one with former FBI training and while there will be a couple other officers posted around the house area, I'll be in charge until the federal agents are sent down from Chicago. And, Carly, honey, it's not like I'll be five states away. The safe house is only a few miles from the farm, so I'll still be close by." Jack said, reaching out to pull her closer to him.

Recognizing the stubborn set of her jaw, he could see that she was still far from being placated about his new role, so he was forced to pull out the big guns.

"Besides, right now, you and I are the only ones they trust. Rosanna loved that little boy so much that, even while she was giving him up, she made sure that his new family knew to come to us, if something like this ever happened. And you know why? Because, like you said, we've been in similar situations as they are right now. Do you remember how scary they were for us as_ adults_? Imagine what that little boy is going through. It'll probably be a really nice thing Josh to see at least one friendly face around until he and Nicole get adjusted."

Jack could tell that his argument had hit home by the way she wouldn't meet his direct gaze and the shifting of her body. He didn't say anything more, only lovingly played with her slender fingers, as he waited for her to say something.

"I _still_ don't like it." Carly said after a long moment of silence, a small pout on her face.

"Me either, but it's my job, Baby." Jack said and tugged her hand, so that she took a few steps closer to him. "Come on, you know I hate it when I can't fall asleep with you in my arms. Your warmth curled into my side; the feel of your skin against mine; the way you always seem to know that special way to wake me up in the morning _especially_ on the days I don't want to get out of bed."

As Carly listened to him speak, his voice dropped lower and lower, while he subtly pulled her closer and closer to him until she was merely inches from his body.

"It's only…a few days…right?" Carly murmured, her blue eyes darkening as she unconsciously licked her lips.

"End of the week at most." Jack said, watching her movement intently.

Carly placed a hand over his heart and stepped closer so that their bodies were now touching. Jack tilted his chin down as she lifted hers up, bringing their lips together in a soft kiss. Carly's hand slid up around his neck to weave itself in his hair that, thankfully, was once again at just the right length. Her lips parted with a sigh and Jack took the opportunity to advance the kiss, letting his tongue caress hers as they grew more passionate.

However both of them recognized that now was neither the time nor the place for such a display and mutually pulled apart. Their breathing was slightly heavy, but they both wore smiles on their faces.

"How many days did you say until the actual FBI agents take over for you?" Carly asked, her mouth still relatively close to his.

"I'll cash in some favors." Jack said immediately, causing her to smile wider and brush another kiss against his lips.

"Good." She said and then stepped away, albeit a little reluctantly. Then looking around the room, she gave him a pointed look. "You know, this is the second time we've made out in this room on Valentine's Day."

Jack remembered quite clearly the first time they had done so, images of her dressed in a skimpy red corset and black trench coat flooding his mind. He also remembered how quickly that outfit came off as soon as he had gotten her home.

"Technically," Jack said, clearing his throat and forcing himself to come back from those delicious memories. "Valentine's Day was yesterday."

"Details, details." Carly said, waving a hand in the air and catching it he pressed a kiss to her palm. She stroked her thumb over his lips and then gave a sigh.

While the past few moments had been a nice distraction, the reality of what was going on in their lives washed over her again. Worry and fear for her sister rose inside her, even as she tried to dampen the emotions. Jack noticed the change in her demeanor and instinctively knew the reason why. Placing an arm around her shoulders, he pulled her to him in a side hug.

"We'll find her, Carly."

Carly didn't say anything in response. She just nodded and tucked her face into his side for a moment, allowing his presence to comfort her, before straightening up again.

"Okay, I'm going to go pick up some things that Nicole and Josh might need for the safe house. Extra clothes, toiletries, that sort of thing." She said and Jack smiled at her take charge attitude. _There_ was his Carly; ready for anything.

"I'm sure they'd appreciate it." He said and they moved to leave the interrogation room. "But first, I want to say hello to my daughter."

Upon exiting, the first thing they noticed was that the small crowd of admirers had not dissipated around Emmy. In fact, one officer had somehow acquired party balloons and was creating balloon animals for the highly amused baby girl. While Emmy didn't know what they were, she did know that they were brightly colored and made fun squeaking noises when the silly man in blue twisted them into different shapes.

"Hanson, I really hope you don't carry those around standard with your handcuffs." Jack said as he and Carly made their way over to the group.

As amused as Emmy had been a moment ago, at the sound of Jack's voice her head whipped around. Spotting him she lunged forward out of Margo's arms and happily toppled into Jack's waiting ones.

"Whoa! Hey there, Angel!" Jack said, catching her and raising Emmy to kiss her hello. The baby smiled and reached up to pat his cheeks with both hands, babbling away at her "da-da-da".

"Daddy's girl?" Margo asked Carly in amusement.

"How could you tell?" Carly joked back and the two women shared a smile.

But when Margo's attention turned back to Jack and Emmy again, Carly's smile faded as her thoughts drifted once more to her missing sister and the nagging feeling of dread that just wouldn't go away.


	3. A Circle of Friends Can Be Family

Family Imperfect: part 2  
by Jaclyn Parker

_There are the families that we are born into, and there are the families that we choose; our circle of friends.  
~Unknown  
_************************************************************************************************************************************************

It had been a week and a half since Jack and a couple fellow officers had accompanied Nicole and Josh to their new temporary residence. Jack had kept his word and as soon as the FBI agents had been sent to take over, he had been home to stay by Friday afternoon. However, Jack had been temporarily re-instated into the FBI as a liaison between Oakdale and Chicago and was still head of command at the safe house. It was an interesting set up, with Jack deferring to Margo at Oakdale PD, but the FBI agents deferring to him at the safe house. So far, though, there had been no territorial outbursts. Apparently the lives of a scared young woman and her small child outweighed the pissing match that often went on between different law enforcement branches.

While Jack had stayed at the safe house and Carly had called to talk to him or say goodnight, she had also made a point to talk to Nicole, and even Josh, at least once a day. She knew how lonely it was being forced into a new place with no idea what was going to happen next.

The conversations between her and Nicole had started out polite and slightly awkward, but by the time Jack had come home that Friday, Carly was calling the safe house to speak to the other woman regularly. The Monday after Jack had returned to Milltown, Carly had spoken to her, late at night while Josh was asleep, and something in Nicole's voice the clued Carly in to how lonely she really was. So, with Jack and the FBI agents' permission, she made plans to visit on Wednesday morning, armed with very careful instructions on how and when to approach the hideaway.

As Carly pulled into the long dirt driveway of the safe house around eleven o'clock, she once again shook her head at how remote and tucked away it appeared, even though it was less than 7 miles from the Snyder farm. It was a two bedroom, one level ranch house that appeared completely worn down from the outside but was very up-to-date on the interior. Josh and Nicole shared one bedroom with twin beds, while the other one had been converted into an operations room that also housed two sets of bunk beds for the agents who stayed over.

Getting out of the car, Carly grabbed the soft canvas bag filled with items she had purchased for Nicole and Josh and headed to the front door. A large white male, dressed in all black with dark sunglasses appeared out of nowhere on Carly's right, making her jump in surprise. He said nothing, only waited patiently with his hand outstretched. Carly silently handed him the canvas bag and waited, just as patiently, as he rummaged through it. When he handed it back and she moved to go inside, he furtively slid in front of her, crossing his arms, and shook his head.

"Um, Jack Snyder said that I had clearance to come visit." Carly said, frowning up at the tall, menacing man. Again he said nothing and she frowned harder until she remembered the most important detail. "Oh, right. The safe word is 'grapefruit'."

At that, the man finally moved aside and nodded his head, before turning to stare out again into the wooded area around them. Pressing a finger to his ear, he finally spoke.

"Mrs. Snyder is here and she's clear to enter."

Carly refrained from rolling her eyes and with a small smile she nodded to him before opening the door.

"Secret service wannabee." She muttered under her breath as she shut the door again, before looking up to see Nicole coming out of the kitchen area, wiping her hands on a dish towel.

"Carly!" Nicole said, her eyes widening and a grin on her face. "I thought you were going to call before you came!"

"Jack thought it would be better to just come on over." Carly said placing the bag down on the floor and removing her down parka. "He's actually going to stop by too, in a little while."

"That's great!" Nicole said and reached out to hug her new friend. "Although, I have to confess, I am much happier to see you. I am in desperate need of conversation that does not revolve around sports, military tactics, or politics."

"Yeah, I guess Jack and the other agents aren't the best at girl talk, huh?" Carly said, hugging her back and laughing when Nicole just made a face in response.

"Aunt Carly!"

Carly turned around just in time to brace herself for the small body that hurled itself at her legs.

"Hi, Josh!" Carly said laughing and reached down to ruffle the boy's hair. "I'm glad to see you too."

It had only been a couple days of being around them when Josh had first called Carly by that name and had also taken to calling Jack, "Uncle Jack". Nicole had apologized profusely, saying that she hadn't encouraged him to do it at all, but both Carly and Jack had reassured her it was fine. Obviously, if it helped Josh feel safer during this ordeal then they weren't going to complain. Besides, he was an absolute sweetheart of a kid other than when he didn't want to nap or go to bed, which was typical of any six year old child. It had, on more than one occasion, however, given Carly pause to wonder if Josh had managed to retain even the smallest memory of his days as "Cabot".

"Where's Emmy?" Josh asked, peering up at Carly with a small frown on his freckled face.

Being an only child, Josh had thrived on the chaos of the Snyder household even in that one day he had been there. But he had taken an instant protective stance towards Emmy and the fondness was apparently reciprocated because the baby always gave him wide smiles whenever he was around. Josh had confessed to Carly one night over the phone that he often wished he had a little brother or sister. Not only to love, but also because he thought it would make his mommy not worry about him so much.

"Oh, I'm sorry, Sweetie. Emmy is having a play date with her cousins Eliza and Robby at her Aunt Emma's house today." Carly said, hating the fact that Josh's face fell as soon as the words left her mouth.

The play date was the truth but what Carly didn't mention was the fact that she and Jack had agreed that the added distraction of an infant at the safe house was just asking for trouble.

"Emma has all three babies?" Nicole said, incredulously.

"Yup," Carly replied, nodding her head as she looked at her. "She said that she had raised six children and she could damn…dang…well take care of three babies for one afternoon."

"From what you told me about her, I'm sure she can too." Nicole said, covering a laugh but her eyes twinkled like Carly's were.

"Oh yes, she is the top of the Snyder clan food chain. Emma likes to think she can do anything." Carly said laughingly but then sighed. "I have to admit though, the nice part about that is that she tends to pass that way of thinking down to the next generations."

As Nicole watched Carly shake her head in amused fondness, she wondered what it would be like to be accepted into a place like the Snyder household, especially with a mother figure like Emma Snyder.

Her own mother wasn't much to talk about, barely tolerating her or her siblings for more than five minutes at a time before telling them they were getting on her nerves. Her father hadn't ever been someone to count on because of his drinking and when he wasn't drinking he had been out gambling. Her older brother had followed right behind in their father's footsteps only he had added a huge temper to the mix, making Nicole very careful as to not step into his path on any given day.

The only person she thought she could rely on, her older sister, had flown the coop when Nicole was barely nine years old without even saying goodbye. The fighting and neglect had escalated ten-fold after that to the point where, when Nicole reached the legal age that the school wouldn't report her to the authorities for dropping out, she ran from that house without ever looking back. She knew that her parents wouldn't report her missing and more than likely, they hadn't given her a second thought since the day she left.

Nicole was shaken out of her melancholy thoughts by another downhearted sigh and realized it had come from her son. Sharing a look with Carly, Nicole reached out and drew him to her in a huge hug.

"Hey, Josh." Carly spoke up and the dejected little boy looked at her with sad brown eyes. "I might not have been able to bring Emmy, but I did bring you a present. Would you like to have it?"

Even though he was still upset at not being able to play with the baby, his eyes took on a curious gleam. But, proving as stubborn as any other child, he merely shrugged.

"Guess so." He said quietly.

"Joshua Alexander." Nicole admonished and Josh immediately looked contrite.

"Yes, please, Aunt Carly." Josh said and Carly winked at him, causing his little mouth to twitch in a smile.

She grabbed the canvas bag from the floor and moved to sit down on the comfortable plaid couch along the far wall in the living room. Wiggling a finger in Josh's direction, she also fought a smile when he immediately bounded out of his mother's arms and hurried to her side.

"Now, I was told by a little birdie that you left something very important behind when you left home. Something no little boy in a new place should be without, in my opinion." Carly said and Josh frowned.

"Underwear?" He asked and both Carly and Nicole couldn't help but laugh at his very unenthusiastic and confused answer.

"Nope." Carly said and pulled the item out of the bag.

"Whoa! A new DS!" Josh said, the excitement in his voice spilling over into his entire body making him wiggle about like a puppy.

"Oh, Carly." Nicole said, shaking her head. "You didn't have to do that."

Both women watched in amusement as Josh held his new precious commodity to his chest and glared stubbornly up at his mom as if daring her to try and take it back.

"It's okay, I didn't mind. It was actually the kids' idea. They thought that Josh was probably getting bored and watching too much television." Carly said, keeping her laughter in check. "I bought a couple of games to go with it but they're all educational, don't worry."

"Super Pokémon Mystery?" Nicole said, lifting one of the three new games that Carly had brought, and raising an eyebrow.

"Yes, it teaches him how to identify and classify different creatures based on habitat and nature while also nurturing a healthy competitive streak." Carly deadpanned before turning to Josh. "Right, Josh?"

The little boy wasn't exactly sure about everything Carly had just said, but the tone of her voice left no doubt as to what his response should be. Josh looked up at his mom and nodded, his little face completely serious.

"Uh huh, right." Josh echoed, making Nicole roll her eyes.

Seeing as how it was two against one, plus the fact that Carly's kids were right about Josh's television intake, Nicole just simply sighed and smiled, nodding her head.

"What do you say, Joshua?" Nicole prompted.

"Thank you, Aunt Carly!" Josh cried, throwing his arms around her neck.

"You're welcome, Sweetheart." Carly replied, but found the last syllables were said to a retreating back as Josh headed for the command room to show off his new toy.

"Josh loves the entire FBI crew. At first I thought he'd be scared of them but they are all surprisingly great with him." Nicole said, shrugging. "Especially Joe Carver, the guy out front."

"The giant wall of black?" Carly asked, dubiously and Nicole laughed.

"Would you believe that 'giant wall' played catch with Josh for an hour straight yesterday so that I could take a nap?"

"No, no I wouldn't." Carly replied shortly, making Nicole laugh again as she settled next to Carly on the couch.

There was a quiet moment before Nicole sighed and looked up at Carly.

"Any news about your sister?"

"No, nothing." Carly said, her voice catching in her throat as she said the words. "There was no more trace evidence on the letter and there has been no other contact since that first night. I just…if it weren't for Jack and the kids, I probably would have lost my mind already."

"I really hope she's okay, Carly." Nicole said, placing a hand on her friend's arm. "She loved Joshua so much that she gave him up and without that love, I wouldn't have my son. From what you and Jack told me about this, James Stenbeck person, that selfless decision is probably behind all of this."

"No," Carly said firmly shaking head. "James Stenbeck's _insanity_ is the only thing behind this. You, Josh, my sister…you're all just unfortunate casualties in this man's unstable mental war."

"But that doesn't make the worry, or the fear, dissipate any faster, does it?" Nicole said, simply and after a moment Carly sighed and shook her head.

"No, it doesn't."

They sat in silence another minute or so, before Carly stiffened and shook her whole body, throwing off the stream of thoughts running through her head.

"By the way, I brought you some things too." Carly said, reaching out to the canvas bag again.

"Oh _please_ tell me you have white chocolate in that bag!" Nicole said, following Carly's lead and changing the subject.

"No, but I do have these!" Carly said pulling out about four or five paperback romance novels. They all contained covers with pictures of bare-chested males in a some form of undress from outfits of various periods. They were complete with beautifully buxom women draped over them, their hair flowing in the wind, also dressed to match the time period of their counterpart, their clothes either ripped or hanging off their bodies.

"Oh, Carly." Nicole said, laughing hysterically as she accepted the books. "Thank you?"

"Oh you'll enjoy them, trust me." Carly said, laughing as well when Nicole's thank you came out as a question. "Nothing better than reading a trashy romance novel to make sure you don't have to think too hard. Um, just make sure Josh doesn't see them or you might be explaining the birds and the bees a little earlier than you planned."

"Do you think guys like this even actually exist?" Nicole asked lifting one book in particular.

It had a well muscled man dressed in long black pants with a black leather motorcycle jacket open to expose his bare chest. He was straddling a black Harley Davidson motorcycle with a long haired brunette straddling his thigh in a mini skirt and off the shoulder top, her cleavage barely contained. His blue gaze was directed out towards the highway in front of them, while she was looking at him like he was the last piece of pie at a Weight Watchers convention. The title read "The Midnight Angel", but whether it referred to the woman or the man was obviously left up to the readers to find out.

"I don't know about him, per say," Carly said, raising an eyebrow at the one Nicole held up. "But I found my dream guy and he even wears a police uniform sometimes…kinda like that one."

Carly pointed to another cover where the title said "The Officer's Willing Hostage".

"Um, I guess he kinda looks like Jack…but his hair is a little too long." Nicole said, her lips twitching in a smile.

"You should have seen him a year ago. It was a pretty close match." Carly said, shuddering playfully. "But the open shirt of the police uniform is very unprofessional. He would never agree to that."

"Oh, somehow, I bet you could talk Jack into it." Nicole said, teasingly. Before Carly could say anything, a voice spoke up, startling them both.

"Talk me into what?" Jack said, closing the door behind him.

The two women had been totally engrossed in their conversation that they hadn't even heard him come in. Now they just stared at him with wide eyes before turning to each other and bursting out into uncontrollable laughter. Jack watched them for a long minute waiting for an explanation, but every time one or the other looked like they could speak, they would look at each other then down at some book between them and lose it all over again.

Finally Jack just rolled his eyes, bent over to kiss his wife's head and muttered something about going to find Josh as he disappeared in the direction the back rooms.

About twenty minutes later, Josh and Jack reappeared, the little boy running over to jump into his mother's lap.

"Mommy, Uncle Jack and I are hungry." He said, pouting.

Carly looked up at Jack who just made his face go slack in innocence and pointed at Josh, shaking his head.

"He's hungry but I could use some coffee…and maybe a sandwich?"

"God, Jack!" Carly said, turning to Nicole after giving Jack a small glare. "I'm so sorry. I really did feed him before he left the house this morning."

Nicole laughed and shook her head. "It's fine. It's almost a quarter past noon anyway, which means lunch time in Joshua's world."

"Mommy, can we have chicken nuggets and French fries?" Josh asked, sliding off her lap again with all the energy of a cooped up six-year old. Sighing, Nicole rolled her eyes.

"You're going to turn into a chicken nugget one of these days." She said, reaching out to poke Josh in the sides, making him squeal in laughter and wiggle away to lean against Jack's legs. "Come on, Goober, and help your old mom spray the baking pan for your lunch."

Nicole stood and Josh happily took her hand, tugging her into the kitchen while she threw an apologetic look over her shoulder. Jack and Carly just smiled at her, both of them happy to see the little boy laughing again. Once they had disappeared into the kitchen, Jack wasted no time in coming over to pull Carly into his arms.

"What's with this lie about feeding me breakfast this morning?" Jack said, his arms around Carly's waist while she placed hers overtop his forearms.

"I never said I fed you _breakfast_." Carly said, lifting her chin up. "You reached over and ate some of my cereal this morning before I could stop you so _technically_ I did feed you."

"You and your 'technically's are going to be the death of me." Jack said, rolling his eyes but grinning.

"Oh, no, G-man, there are _plenty_ of ways to go that I can think of that are much more pleasant." Carly murmured huskily and looked at him with twinkling eyes. Jack didn't miss the cue and bent down to kiss her, hugging her close.

He had just released her and was about to say something when the sound of boots scuffling towards them made them turn their heads. Sure enough, one of the FBI agents that was on duty in the operations room was standing in the doorway to the living room area.

"Sir, I need to speak with you. It's urgent."

Jack frowned and nodded, "Okay, David, what's going on?"

David looked at Carly and back to Jack, his eyes uncertain. He had been trained to only give information to his superior, not his superior and his wife.

"It's fine, David." Jack said and full released Carly from his hold, but did not step away from her. Normally he wouldn't have let Carly hear anything having to do with a case, but this one involved her sister and more likely than not, she'd find a way to learn the information somehow.

"Yes, sir." David said, and walked over to them. "Agent Sutton found some unfamiliar footprints along the east side of the house. He followed the tracks he could find and it looks like someone's been doing some reconnaissance."

Jack frowned, scenarios instantly running through his head. "How fresh are the tracks?"

"It looks like they are from only about an hour ago, sir. I don't know how our cameras and sensors missed whoever it was." David said, shaking his head as if he was still trying to figure it out.

"Okay, did you do a perimeter sweep?" Jack asked and David nodded.

"Yes, sir. Agent Hampton just reported in that he discovered some sort of small one man camp about a mile from the safe house. The fire pit was still warm, but there was no other trace of whoever was there; not even footprints in the snow."

Jack thought hard for a moment before coming to a swift decision.

"Okay, this place has been compromised. We need to move them out, _now_. Call Chicago, tell them what happened and that we're bringing Nicole and Josh to the Oakdale Police Station until they can give us another local safe house. And tell them I mean today!"

"Yes, sir!" David said and without another glance in their direction, hurried away to follow his orders.

"Carly, I have to go tell Nicole what's going on, okay? I'm going to send Josh out here to you so I need you keep him entertained for a few minutes while I talk to her. Then I'm going to have one of the agents escort you three, in your car, to the police station." Jack said, his mind, by now, compartmentalizing everything that was going on.

"But, Jack, what about you?" Carly asked, already fearing the answer.

"I need to go check out that campsite and see if we can find any evidence of where this guy has gone. Or even if it's who we think it is."

"Jack…" Carly started to say but Jack just placed his hands on her shoulders and looked deep into her eyes.

"Carly, this is my job. I'll have four other FBI agents backing me up and we'll be in radio contact with the station the whole time."

Carly wanted to continue to protest but she knew that she couldn't; she couldn't distract Jack from doing his job by throwing her concerns at him now. As a cop's wife she knew that he needed to focus on the situation at hand, not her and her fear. There would be plenty of time for that later.

"Okay, go tell Nicole, I'll take care of Josh." Carly said and with a look of relief, Jack pressed his forehead to her for a moment, then kissed it and headed into the kitchen.

Ignoring the rock in the pit of her stomach, Carly turned to clean up the books that were still scattered on the couch.

"Aunt Carly?" Josh said and Carly turned to see him standing behind her, holding his new DS. "Uncle Jack said that you wanted me to show you how to get to level 2 on my Mini Ninjas game."

"Yes, that's right. I want to try and beat J.J. next time he teases me." Carly said, taking the statement in stride and jumping right in. Five minutes later, Josh was completely absorbed in showing Carly the right kick-punch-block combo that would help her defeat the second level boss. Despite the distraction it was supposed to provide for Josh, Carly found herself listening to the young child and watching the game just as intently.

They were so focused that when the explosion came, it rocked them to the core, the heat and force of the blast pushing them backwards on the couch. The game was instantly forgotten as Josh extracted himself from the protective hold that Carly had enforced on him instinctively and both heads swung around in fear to seek out the last known place their loved ones had been.

Two pairs of eyes, one of a wife and one of a child, widened in horror when the smoke shifted revealed that the back half of the house had disappeared in a chaotic crash of wood and smoke.


	4. Everything is A Choice

**Author's Note: Sorry I haven't updated guys, I have just been really busy and then under the weather for the past week or so. Thank you to those who are reviewing, it definitely helps me want to keep going. :) ENJOY!  
~JP**

Family Imperfect  
by Jaclyn Parker

_"You have a choice. Live or die. Every breath is a choice. Every minute is a choice. To be or not to be."  
__~ Chuck Palahniuk  
_************************************************************************************************************************************************

"Mommy!"

"Jack!"

Both cries came simultaneously and Carly whipped out an arm to pull Josh to her when the child tried to run towards the kitchen area that was no longer visible through a new haze of thick dusty smoke.

Carly was about to call out again when all the hairs on the back of her neck stood up. For some unknown reason she yanked Josh off his feet and rolled into a protective cover over his body on the floor by the couch. The second explosion decimated the wall directly to their left, showering the woman and child with debris and an intense heat. Carly heard Josh sobbing hysterically underneath of her and she tried to push down her own rising hysteria as she shifted under a piece of ply wood that had landed on her back. A sharp pain shot up her left arm and gathering her bearings she could feel the warm trickle of blood flowing down her forearm and causing her long sleeved shirt to stick to her wound. Thankfully, by placing Joshua between the couch and herself, she knew that no debris had managed to get to him.

"Josh, stay down." Carly said, probably more loudly than she needed to but the ringing in her ears threw off her sound perception. When Josh didn't answer, she gently hugged him with her arm. "Do you understand? I have to move but I need you to stay down."

Josh finally gave a tiny nod of his head, which was enough for Carly and she lifted her own to look around her. Smoke stung her eyes and she felt the naturally protective tears begin to slide down her cheeks as she tried to take everything in.

The back of the house where the kitchen and bedrooms had been were completely blocked off by fallen beams and debris. She tried to strain her hearing but gave up quickly when she knew that it was going to be impossible to hear anything beyond her own breathing and Josh's crying. Carly placed a hand on Josh's head, stroking his hair to try and provide some comfort, and grimaced as she felt the soot and grime that had attached themselves to the fine locks. Her eyes ran around the room, desperately trying to find a way out and when a blast of cold air hit her cheek, she whipped her head around to find the source.

The second explosion had caused a large portion of the left wall to be blown clean away and through the haze Carly could see glimpses of the snow covered outdoors. However, that hole was also providing oxygen for more than just the two humans inside the fallen house and a sudden roar caught Carly's attention. The small fires scattered about the room had combined to form a giant inferno that was now climbing the walls and licking its fiery tongue across the ceiling above them. The smoke was intensifying and Carly could feel the beginning of the burn in her lungs that the deadly smog caused.

Unwelcome memories of similar situations hit her hard and for a precious moment Carly froze in sheer panic. Suddenly she wasn't in this safe house anymore, she was - trapped in a locked trunk in a burning attic praying that she would see her babies and husband one more time; holding Jack back from going to a burning van and finally throwing him to the ground as it exploded over their heads; tied to a chair with her ex-husband while flames licked at them, thoughts constantly straying not to their survival but that of their kidnapped thirteen year old son.

A rasping cough snapped Carly out of her panic and her bleary eyes caught sight of Josh, huddling in a ball with his little chest desperately trying to take in clean air. Her eyes narrowed and she ducked down again, trying to ignore how quickly the fire was getting out of hand.

"It's okay, Josh. Everything's going to be okay." She murmured in his ear and felt his responding shudder.

"I can't…breathe, Aunt…Carly." Josh gasped out and he began to cry again, which only made the task of breathing more difficult.

"I know, Honey, I know." Carly said and she frowned, calculating the distance between the hole in the house and their position.

It wasn't far but there was enough debris in the way that it appeared to her like a military boot camp obstacle course. She shifted again, testing out her limbs and when the only pain that appeared was the familiar one from her left arm, she deemed herself clear of any broken bones or sprains. Carly was still trying to figure out the best way to approach the situation when she heard a horrifying noise directly above her.

Glancing up, her suspicions were confirmed as one of the only ceiling beams left in the living room was being consumed by the fire and looked ready to cave down upon them. The terrifying sound of wood groaning and snapping at the same time came again and Carly knew there was no more time to debate her decision.

"Josh, I need you to turn towards me and wrap your arms around my neck as tight as you can." Carly said and even though he hesitated, Josh did as told.

Carly frowned at how much she was trembling as she held him to her, knowing that shock and loss of blood was more than likely already setting in. She needed to get them both out of there before her strength was completely gone.

"Now, bury your face in my shoulder and don't look up, no matter what. Do you understand?"

She felt Josh nod against her and taking as deep a breath as she possibly could in the situation, Carly gathered up all the strength left inside of her and pushed up off of the floor.

With muscles that she never even knew she had groaning in protest and her head spinning like a carnival ride, she made her way through the ravaged living area. A thunderous crashing sound came from behind her and without turning around she knew that the spot where she and Josh had huddled moments before was no longer there.

The hole in the wall beckoned welcomingly to her but then, with only a few feet to go, her foot caught on what was left of one of the lampshades from the room. Carly felt herself begin to fall forward and knew at that moment, all she could do was cradle Josh as best she could so that it was her who would take the brunt of the fall and not the tiny boy in her arms.

And yet, her collision with the floor never happened.

Strong arms caught her and as the person helped her with those last few steps out of the house, Carly could feel the poke of a service weapon and the stiff material of an officer's uniform against her.

The first contact with the crisp cold air of the winter day hit like a sledgehammer, almost causing Carly to drop to her knees anyway. While both she and Josh pulled in the welcome and much needed oxygen, the coldness also stung their lungs quite a bit. But as she stumbled further away from the raging inferno, Carly knew she would welcome the pain of fresh air over the pain of what had almost happened to them in that house.

Finally giving in the lack of adrenaline that was hitting her, Carly fell to her knees on the ground, ignoring the cold snow as it seeped into her jeans. Josh, who still hadn't let go of her, was cradled protectively in her arms.

Ragged breathing filled the air as well as the constant popping and crackling of the fire burning behind them. A voice she didn't exactly recognize was speaking to her but only two things were running through her mind at the moment.

"Where…where's Jack? Where's Nicole?" Carly managed to get out, choking on some of the smoke that was drifting their way.

"Mrs. Snyder…" The officer tried to say, but she cut him off.

"Where is my husband?" She demanded, but again had to give in to a coughing fit when her lung alerted her to the fact that they weren't up to demanding _anything _just yet.

"Mrs. Snyder, I need you and the boy to please come with me. Detective Snyder managed to call us at the station and even though the fire department is already on its way we need to get you to a safe distance away from the house." The officer said, calmly.

While Carly couldn't see very well through thecombination of smoke and her red swollen eyes, the more she listened to it the more the voice was somehow familiar and she felt herself relax. She held a shaking Josh closer to her and allowed the officer to gently take her by the arm and help her to her feet. The sound of a motorcycle roaring to a stop caused all three of them to pause.

"Hey, what the hell is going on?" A voice called out and a leather clad man burst through the smoke a few moments later.

"Dusty?" Carly said, recognizing the voice almost instantly. She blinked harder and the stinging in her eyes from the soot and smoke caused her natural tear duct reflex to start over again. Thankfully her blinking speeded up the process and tears began to soothe her gaze.

"Carly? Are you okay?" Dusty said, rushing over to her side. "Where's…?"

He trailed off as he watched Carly's eyes shoot to the burning house. The emotions that crossed her face told him all he needed to know.

"Stay here! I'm going in to help. Just stay here!" Dusty said, leading them to a small clearing about 50 yards from the house. He lay down in the cold wet snow and rolled around several times, before jumping to his feet again. Before Carly could say anything else, he had thrown one arm up over his face and rushed back into the fire.

Carly had never been a fan of Dusty Donovan's but right now, she was more than willing to be his biggest cheerleader if it meant him helping get her husband out of that house.

"I want my mommy." Josh started to whimper, the shock of the inital explosion finally wearing off. His cries became louder and he began to struggle against Carly's hold. "I want my mommy!"

"I know, Josh, I know." Carly said kneeling down to hold his arms and looking into his frightened soot covered face. "Jack's going to bring her out, but you need to stay with me okay?"

Josh didn't say anything else but glared down at her in defiance. Suddenly his face fell and throwing his arms around Carly's neck he began to sob.

"I…want…my…mommy." He cried and Carly closed her eyes, holding the shaking child close. She wanted nothing more than to fall apart too, but she knew that this poor little six year old boy needed her to be strong.

A rustling noise made both their heads turn and Carly stood quickly, letting out a gasp. With a hard slam, the side door leading to the kitchen area flew off and into the forest, several feet away.

"Oh thank God!" She cried as she watched Dusty run out of the house with Nicole in his arms and Jack right behind him, half-dragging one of the federal agents.

They made it to the clearing where Josh and Carly stood, before coming to a stop. Dusty gently laid a coughing Nicole down on the ground, helping her sit halfway up as she tried to forcibly expel the smoke from her lungs. Jack and the federal agent stumbled to the ground next to them, also coughing up the foreign substance.

"Mommy!" Josh yelled and rushed out of Carly's arms to hurl himself at Nicole.

"Oh, God, baby! You're okay!" Nicole cried, holding her son to her and sobbing as she rocked back and forth with the little boy on her lap. "You're okay!"

"Jack?" Carly said, kneeling beside her coughing husband and brushing her hand over his forehead.

He had a large gash over his right temple and what was probably going to be a nasty bruise over his left cheekbone but, like the rest of them, miraculously nothing appeared to be broken.

Jack grabbed her hand and kissed her palm, before tugging her into a hug.

"I'm okay, Carly. Are you okay?" He asked, his voice rough and she just nodded, knowing that words could not do justice to the emotions she felt running through her.

Jack held her close a moment more and then letting go, scrambled to his feet. Swaying momentarily, he shook his head and then turned towards the house again.

Carly narrowed her eyes and jumped to her feet too.

"Jack…" Her voice held a serious warning as all the nerves in her body were on alert. She saw the look in his eyes and said his name again.

Jack just turned to her and then, after hugging her again, he pulled away.

"Hines is in there. I saw him by the kitchen doorway as we were running out. I gotta go back for him."

"Jack, you can't go in there!"

"Carly, he's right by the door! I have to try. He has a wife and two kids. What if it was me in there, Carly, and no one even bothered to...? I can't just leave him there. Please understand, baby, I _have_ to try." Jack repeated and despite herself, Carly found herself listening to his argument. And even though fear had completely wrapped itself around Carly's heart, she felt her fingers slowly release their death grip on his sleeve as if they belonged to someone else.

Jack kissed her hard and before she could say anything, he was bolting back in the direction from which he had appeared only a moment ago. Immediately she wanted to call him back but her voice seemed to have deserted her. All she could do was watch him as he maneuvered away from some of the flames and vanished around the other side of the house.

A small hand slipped into hers and she looked down to see Josh clinging to her on one side while Nicole placed an arm around her shoulders on the other, even as she continued to shake and cough out the remnants of her own lungs' ordeal. Dusty stood off to the side, trying to assess the semi-conscious agent that Jack had pulled out while glancing every other second to the house. The battle of whether or not to help Jack was written all over his face but they all knew that he would most likely only prove to be a distraction if he ran back in too.

Silence hung in the air and though it was probably only a minute, it felt like hours to Carly. Then, the sound she had been dreading came and with the low rumbling, Dusty's voice echoed out

"Oh my god."

As they watched, the entire roof of the house began to cave in and with a mighty whoosh, the house seemed to collapse in on itself.

"Jack!"

Carly's primal cry echoed in the chilly atmosphere of the day and several birds that had been resting in the trees that hung over the house like morbid voyeurs, took to flight.

But other than the rustling of departing wings no more movement came from the area of the burning dwelling. Carly broke away from Nicole and Josh and stumbled towards the house in shock, but quickly found that her progress was stalled due to the restraining arms of Dusty Donovan. While her struggle against his hold would leave some serious bruises in its wake, she had been weakened by the smoke inhalation and the blood loss from her injury and found that she was no match for his grasp.

Held back in Dusty's strong armed prison, Carly's continuous screams for her husband mingled with the sound of approaching sirens heralding help that was just a little too late.


	5. Love Is Not A Sense Of Ownership

**Author's Note: Okay, since things are heating up in the CarJack world on TV, I'm hoping there is still a need for my story...and that you are all still reading it. LOL Anyways, Happy Thanksgiving to those who celebrate it and for those who don't Happy 26th of November :) Enjoy!!!  
~JP**

Family Imperfect  
by Jaclyn Parker

_"Love does not cause suffering: what causes it is the sense of ownership, which is love's opposite."  
__~Antoine de Saint-Exupery_

* * *

"Ma'am, you really should let us take you to the hospital." The EMT tried again as he finished bandaging the frowning woman's arm.

"Did you find any other wounds that need medical attention apart from my arm?" Carly asked, quietly.

"Um, no ma'am."

"Did you do a sufficient job of cleaning and stitching up the cut that I _do_ have?"

"Um, yes ma'am."

"Is the shot you gave me for the pain going to interfere with my ability to function?"

"No ma'am."

"Is there anything that the hospital is going to do differently than what you just did for the last twenty minutes other than bill me a large sum of money?"

"Uh…no?"

"Then, for the millionth time, I'm _not_ going to the hospital." Carly asked, her eyes narrowing at the young man.

"Yes, ma'am." The EMT said quickly as she practically growled her last sentence at him. After applying the last piece of medical tape to the bandage, he hurried off to find somebody…_anybody_…else to attend to.

A soft chuckle came from the man seated next to Carly in the back tailgate of the open ambulance, but at the icy blue glare thrown his way, the laughter immediately caught in Jack's throat.

Shifting uncomfortably he let the female EMT that was reassessing his vitals strap the blood pressure cuff to his arm without protest. He knew that he was considered incredibly lucky to be alive...a damn miracle, in fact.

When Jack had found that the side door to the kitchen was completely blocked by debris, he had gone around back to check that door. However, that final explosion had knocked Jack backwards, off of his feet, and into the snowy bushes by the burning house before he had even had time to try to get back into the building. He had been knocked unconscious for a few minutes and when he came to, the fire department and EMTs were arriving on the scene. The medics had explained to him that other than some nasty looking superficial wounds, he was going to be okay. Because he had lost consciousness for a period of time, he most likely had a small concussion, but since he was fully aware of what to do in those situations they were releasing him without checking into a hospital. The EMTs did explain what to look for and if he felt_ any _of the symptoms to _any_ degree than he was to come to Oakdale Memorial with no delays.

"Sir?"

A slightly dazed Adam Tyler came up to him in the ambulance, shuffling on his feet and fidgeting with his officer's cap.

"The Chief asked me to let you know that they've recovered the bodies of agents Sutton, Hampton, and Carver. Also that Agent Hines was found exactly were you said he would be."

"Thank you, Officer Tyler." Jack said and frowned. "Any word on Agent Harris from the hospital?"

"Detective Griffin just reported in and said that Agent Harris's surgery for his leg went well and that with physical therapy, he is expected to make a full recovery. And his lungs are being treated for the extreme case of smoke inhalation that he suffered." Adam replied and looked up at Jack with a slightly awed expression. "They say, sir, that if you hadn't pulled him out when you did, Agent Harris wouldn't have made it."

Jack didn't respond, only closed his eyes knowing that, even though he had been able to help Agent Harris, four others had lost their lives today in the line of duty. Adam frowned slightly but accepted his hero's silence and with a nod to Carly, slipped away to join the other officers.

"Carver…Joe Carver? The bodyguard out front?" Carly asked in a hushed voice and Jack nodded, not opening his eyes.

Carly thought about the loss of the giant man who had seemed so stiff and unyielding to her but had taken the time to play catch with a lonely, scared 6 year old boy. As she did, she looked out into the forest that was sprinkled with sparkling white powdered snow and glistening crystal icicles hanging from trees as if in a storybook. The serene view and her agitated, emotional thoughts were so contradictory that Carly felt herself becoming filled with anger. In what universe was it fair that four good men died while the scum that had her sister and tried to kill them was still out there?

At the sound of footsteps approaching, both her and Jack were brought out of their individual reflective thoughts to see Margo walking towards them. She had her official Oakdale PD down parka on and was re-clipping her walkie-talkie back onto her belt. Her cheeks were pink from the cold and she had smudges of soot from where she had brushed her hands over her face in frustration.

"Nicole, Dusty, and Josh are on their way back to the station to give their statements. Jack, why don't you and Carly drive over in Carly's car and we'll try to finish this up as quickly as possible."

Soon they were all standing in the bullpen of the police station, the majority of their statements already given. They were just waiting for Carly to finish up in Interrogation Room #1 with Margo and Dallas.

They stepped from the room about ten minutes later and Carly immediately walked over to stand next to Jack. He pulled her to lean against him and even though she momentarily stiffened, he felt her soon relax into him.

"Where's Josh?" Carly asked, not seeing the small child anywhere.

"Officer Tyler took him to get a popsicle from the vending machine." Dusty answered from where he stood next to Nicole.

"And he went willingly?" Margo said, slightly astonished.

Since Nicole had emerged from the house and had been reunited with Josh, the boy had been clinging to his mother like white on rice. At even the suggestion earlier of her going into the room to give her statement without him had caused a small tantrum.

"Well, apparently the idea of a SpongeBob Square Pants with gumball eyes was too irresistible to pass up." Nicole joked, followed by a small cough.

The oversized Oakdale PD zip-up sweatshirt she was wearing started to slip off her shoulder and Dusty reached out to lift it back up at the same time she did. Their fingers brushed and Nicole pulled back as if burned, but the blush on her cheeks spoke for itself.

Carly watched with narrowed eyes but then sighed inwardly. There were plenty of reasons for her to warn Nicole about getting involved Dusty and maybe one day she'd tell her, but not today; today Dusty was one of the good guys and she'd leave her opinions to herself.

Instead she asked the question that had been burning in her mind since the whole thing had started.

"Did you…was there any evidence that this guy maybe…followed me to the safe house?"

"No." Jack said immediately, shaking his head.

"No, Carly, it's okay." Dallas agreed and even Margo nodded. "We combed the area and checked out this guy's hidey hole. He'd been camped out there for at least a few days. Why he chose today to strike, we don't know."

Except they did know or at least had a very good guess; it was because he, whoever he was, had been given the opportunity to take out Jack and Carly along with Nicole.

"But why would he blow the place up? I thought he wanted to take Josh, not hurt him." Nicole said, shivering at the thought.

"We don't know for sure, but the bomb squad said that the charges were very well placed. Meant to destroy the structure, with the least amount of damage. Unfortunately, one of the exposed wires from a lamp hit a patch of snow, shortcircuited the entire wiring, and then sparked, causing a fire."

"I'm just grateful that you guys responded so quickly to Jack's call." Carly said, hugging herself. "If it wasn't for that officer, I don't know if Josh and I would have gotten out."

"What are you talking about?" Jack asked, pulling away and looking at her in confusion. "What call? What officer?"

"The one who helped me and Josh out of the house." Carly said, frowning at Jack's perplexed face. "I couldn't see his face clearly but he said he was Oakdale PD."

"Carly…we didn't get there until the EMTs and fire department did. They were the ones to alert us, not Jack." Margo said, exchanging a look with Dallas and Jack.

"Then who…" Carly trailed off and Jack turned her to hold her arms tightly.

"Carly, honey, I need you to think. Did you see his face at all?"

"I…no, I couldn't. My eyes were burning so much from the smoke that they were watering and I was panicked about Josh and you and Nicole that I…I just assumed…I didn't think to look…" Carly tried desperately to recall any feature but she knew that it was futile.

"Dusty, did you see him?" Margo asked but Dusty shook his head.

"No, all I saw was Carly holding the kid. But it took me about 30 seconds to even get to where she was from the road. It's completely possible that there was someone there but they had time to hide, especially if they were familiar with the area. I mean, once I saw what was happening all I could think about was getting them out of the way of the house and trying to get in to help Jack. I wasn't paying attention to much else."

"I'm sorry…I mean, God, how could I have been so stupid…" Carly started to berate herself but Jack hugged her hard.

"Stop, you couldn't have known, Carly. If he was wearing a uniform, anyone would have assumed that he was part of the PD. Which is _probably_ how he slipped by everyone once they actually arrived." Jack said, frowning as he thought about this guy so close to his wife and that poor little boy.

Before anyone could say anything else, the doors to Oakdale PD swung open full force and all eyes turned to watch as Craig Montgomery rushed through them. Spying the group by Jack's desk he headed for them immediately.

"Is it true?" He demanded once he got to them, looking from Jack to Carly to Margo before repeating himself. "For God's sake, is it true?"

"Whoa, Craig, calm down." Margo asked, quirking an eyebrow at her brother's demanding words. "First of all, is what true?"

"About Cabot!" Craig said, his tone exasperated as if she should have known that was what he was talking about. "Is it true that he's in Oakdale and was in a fire?"

"How the hell did you know that?" Jack demanded.

"I just overheard a couple officers talking about it when I was Al's." Craig said, waving his hand around as if it didn't matter.

"Dammit!" Jack spit out, his blood boiling at the idea that officers had been running their mouths in public.

"So it is true!" Craig said, taking in the others reactions as well. "Where is he? Where's Cabot?"

"Craig, why don't you just calm down and get out of everyone's face for a change, huh?" Dusty said and Craig whirled around to glare at him.

"What are you doing here, Donovan? Come to see if you could lay claim to another one of my sons since you can't have Johnny?" Craig sneered and Dusty's hand balled into fists. "Let's see…yup, he'd be about six now so you're only a couple years off!"

Jack, Carly, Margo, and Dallas all looked like they were ready to jump in any moment but in the end it wasn't necessary.

"Just who the _hell_ do you think you are?" Nicole's voice cut through the tension in the room.

Craig looked at her as if seeing her for the first time and he frowned. He opened his mouth to speak but the irate brunette promptly cut him off at the pass.

"You know what? That was a rhetorical question because I know _exactly_ who you are, Mr. Montgomery. God, everything I've heard about you in this town seems to be true. You hear that a child you claim to love was in a fire and you come bursting in here and immediately make the situation about you? You ignorant, narcissistic, son of a…"

Nicole paused to take breath and stepped forward, causing Craig to instinctively take one backwards at the look in her eyes.

"Let me set you straight on just a few things, _Mr. Montgomery_. One, his name is not Cabot, it is Joshua Alexander Davidson. Two, you are _not_ his father and he is _not_ your son; he is _my _son. And three, I don't know what went on between you and Dusty but he helped save my life today and right now, that's damn well good enough for me. "

Nicole finished her entire speech with a small jab of her left index finger to the middle of his chest. She was a good five or six inches shorter than Craig but in that moment she looked like she could have taken him down easily.

Jack looked at Carly, who had a very pleased smirk on her face. She felt his eyes upon her and when she caught him staring she quickly schooled her features into a mask of innocence, even though her eyes still sparkled. Jack just rolled his eyes and sighed, turning back to the small confrontation at hand. He knew that even though the situation between Carly and Craig was finally at least civil, he couldn't blame her for the twinge of satisfaction he was sure she was feeling at seeing him get his comeuppance. After all…Jack was feeling the exact same twinge.

Nicole backed off to stand by Dusty again, who was staring at her with a strange look. Craig's emotions, however, were incredibly easy to read as his face began to get red and his jaw started to tick. When he opened his mouth to speak, Jack decided it was a good time to step in. But they were both pre-empted when the police station glass doors opened once again and this time Janet strolled though.

"Oh my god, it's a freaking convention." Carly muttered under her breath and Jack turned to give her a pointed look. She just shrugged and gave a small cough while blinking at him coyly.

"Craig, what are you doing here?" Janet said, her voice confused. "I thought you were staying to meet me after my shift. Alicia said you bolted for the police station, like ten seconds after you got there."

Then, as if suddenly realizing the others were even in the room, Janet's gaze swept over the small group. They took in Nicole and Dusty, Margo and Dallas, before briefly pausing on Jack and Carly. A flicker of an indecipherable emotion crossed her face but then she turned back to Craig.

"What's going…?" Janet started to ask but then trailed off.

Turning around slowly she brought her gaze back to one person in particular in the small group. Her eyes narrowed as she studied Nicole's features intently before they widened again in shock.

"Nicki?" Janet's voice was trembling and a hand flew to her mouth, as tears filled her eyes. "Oh my God, it's you, isn't it?"

Nicole's eyes narrowed as well as she studied Janet's face just as closely.

"It's not possible." She whispered and shook her head. "It's not…"

"You two know each other?" Craig asked, voicing the question in everyone's mind.

Nicole just blinked, the look on her face equal parts incredulous and wary, while Janet nodded and smiled shakily before answering his question.

"She's…my sister."

* * *

**Additional A/N: I would just like to say (now that the "secret" about who Nicole really is, is out) that I had the idea to bring in Janet's sister WAYYYYY before the actual show did (like back in May when I started planning this story), so before anyone says anything I did**_** not**_** steal it. And it probably doesn't matter to anyone else but my writer's pride and ego just had to point that out so there was no confusion. LOL**


	6. The Right to Quit Toxic People

**Author's Note: Hello all my fellow ATWT fans. I'm sure most of you, if not all of you, have heard about our show being cancelled. While I am devastated by this turn of events I hope that everyone can remember the ones who have really lost out in this situation and that we all can continue to show our support and gratitude for all those wonderful people who were invited onto our screens and into our homes for the past 50+ years. That being said, I will continue and finish this story (and possibly write others) and I can only hope you stick by me and read and review as you have done so in the past.**

So, as always, ENJOY!!  
~JP  
  
Family Imperfect  
by Jaclyn Parker

"_You do not have the right to quit trying; the universe wobbles when you do. You do have the right to quit toxic people; they're contagious.  
__~Dr. SunWolf_

* * *

Janet's announcement had stunned them all into silence, including Nicole.

"God, look at you! You're…" Janet continued, shaking her head in disbelief.

"An adult?" Nicole answered for her darkly. "Yeah, 18 years will to do that to a person."

Janet flinched slightly and the others shifted uncomfortably at the underlying bitter tension emanating from the younger woman's tone.

"How did you know it was me? I haven't seen you since I was almost ten years old." Nicole continued, giving Janet an odd look.

"I would recognize those big brown doe eyes anywhere, Nicki." Janet said, smiling but at seeing that her words hadn't done anything to lessen the stiffness of her younger sister she shrugged a little bit. "And it doesn't hurt that you are the spitting image of Aunt Teresa."

An female officer wandered over and whispered into Margo's ear, abruptly ending the family reunion that was happening. She nodded at the young woman's words and with a swift glance to the others she quickly dismissed her again.

"Margo?" Jack asked and the chief of police sighed.

"The bomb squad found an anomaly scratched on one of the main blasting caps. It appears to have been signed with the letters 'J.S.'.

"My God, this man is deranged." Carly said, shuddering at the fact that someone would purposely take credit for the deaths of those FBI agents and possibly the lives in this room had it come to that.

"So what happens now? We go to another safe house?" Nicole said, even though the loathing of such a prospect was written all over her face.

"No, you might as well stay in town now. If he could get to you at a safe house then I'd rather you be where I can keep a closer eye on you." Jack said, frowning.

"What about the Lakeview? It's close and very comfortable." Craig piped up. "I'll pay for a double suite."

"No, thank you. We don't want or need anything from you, Mr. Montgomery." Nicole said, glaring at him. "Besides, I don't want to stay in a hotel, however _comfortable_ it may be. A hotel is not a proper home for a child."

Carly had been quietly thinking to herself and spoke up now, effectively cutting off whatever Craig's response might have been.

"What about the cottage where Mike Kasnoff used to live?" She said and all eyes landed on her. "I don't think anyone's rented it out and it's in town but sort of private too."

"It might work," Jack said, nodding his head as he thought about her suggestion. Looking at Margo he shrugged. "It does have two bedrooms and it's on Tiner Street. Close enough that we can be there within minutes if anything happens."

"Sounds good to me." Margo agreed. "Anything to catch this crazy sonuvabi...guy...before he has a chance to strike again."

Janet's confusion and concern had been mounting this whole time and now she couldn't hold it back anymore.

"What's going on? Why are you here in Oakdale, Nicole?" She asked and frowned hard at the younger woman as she rapidly fired questions at her. "Are you in some kind of trouble? And who is this 'J.S.' guy that you are all so afraid of hurting her?"

Sighing again, Nicole's shoulders dropped at the thought of trying to explain everything to Janet, whose presence she wasn't even 100 percent sure she wanted to be around in the first place. The situation was overwhelming enough to begin with and she was suddenly incredibly aware of the emotional upheavals that had happened to her in just a few short hours.

Dusty could see the emotional war going on inside of Nicole and stepped in for her.

"You know, I'm sure that this is all a shock for you Janet, but it's been a really long day already. Maybe you can catch up with your sister tomorrow or something." He said and couldn't help the smile that graced his lips at the grateful look Nicole sent him. "But for right now, I think it's a good idea for her and her son to try and get some rest."

The shock that Dusty had dared speak to her for her sister was quickly replaced by the shock of his words.

"Her s…" Janet trailed off softly before blinking back a sheen of tears. "Are you saying that I have a nephew?"

"No." Nicole spoke up, the betrayed expression from earlier back in her eyes. "He's saying that _I_ have a _son_."

No sooner had the words left her mouth than the subject of discussion ran into the room. In his hands he held two wrapped popsicles and following closely behind him was a harried looking Officer Tyler.

"Here, Mommy!" Josh said thrusting one of the cold treats in her direction as he skidded to a stop in front of her. "They didn't have anymore SpongeBob 'sicles so I got you a regular red one. They're really good too...even though I like blue best after SpongeBob."

Nicole couldn't hold back the small smile at her young son's exuberance over his offering. The blue rim around his mouth foretold the fact that he had bribed Officer Tyler into more than just a SpongeBob popsicle.

"Thank you, Baby." She said, taking the item from him and kissing his head. She didn't have time to ask about the second one in his hands as he immediately turned to Carly.

"Here Aunt Carly, I got you one too!" Josh said, handing it to her. Carly took it with a wide smile, brushing her hand over his hair.

"Thanks, Sweetie. I was getting a little hungry." She said, and she couldn't help but glance over at Janet when the child went back to his mother. The tightness of her expression showed that she had been well aware of the familial title Josh had bestowed on Carly.

"Actually I think we're _all_ getting hungry and more than a little tired." Margo said, looking around at the small group and deciding to get this show on the road. She shot a look to Dallas who was just replacing the phone to its base with a nod, a written address on a Post-It note in his hand. "I'll have you two taken to the new house and leave guards posted outside."

"I'll go too." Dusty said, placing a hand on Nicole's shoulder. Pretty much everyone looked like they were going to object but Nicole was the one to actually shake her head.

"Thank you, Dusty, but I think my son and I just need to spend some time together. We're strong and we'll be fine on our own with the guards." She said and rose up to kiss his cheek softly. "But I will never forget what you did for us today."

Dusty again had a strange look on his face as he regarded her and then smiled charmingly.

"Well how about I treat you two to breakfast in the morning? I know a place where the chocolate chip pancakes are the best in town."

Nicole looked down at her son, whose face had lit up at the mention of chocolate chip anything, and laughed quietly.

"Deal." She said and grinned back at him. Then looking down at Josh, she placed a hand on his head. "Okay, Kiddo, let's go."

"Wait, Mommy!" Josh said and rushed over to stand in front of Carly and Jack. "Aunt Carly, um, can you ask Sage if I can borrow her DS since mine got all blowed up?"

Hearing Josh ask the question, with such an innocent and casual reminder of what had happened, caused everyone's stomach to drop. Carly knelt down and hugged the boy to her closely.

"I promise." She said, knowing that she would be stopping by the toy store to pick up a brand new one the next day.

When Carly released him, she looked up at Nicole who had to turn her head away to hide the shine of tears from her son's words. Dusty cleared his throat and bent down to swoop Josh up onto his shoulders.

"Come on, Buddy, let's go check all those cool flags above the door while your mom says goodbye." He said and wandered over to the front of the station.

Nicole watched them go with a small sad smile on her lips before turning to Carly and Jack.

"I'm so sorry that you are in the middle of this. I never meant…" Nicole started to say but had to stop herself as tears rose in her throat. Shaking her head, the guilt she was feeling was apparent on her face.

Without hesitation Carly pulled her into a hug and shook her own head.

"Everything is going to be okay." She said and Nicole hugged Carly tight, nodding her head as she tried to force herself to believe the blonde woman's words. Pulling back Carly smiled and winked. "I'll come visit you guys tomorrow and I'll even bring you some new books."

Giving a shaky laugh, Nicole nodded again and upon being released by Carly, was quickly hugged by Jack too. She said her thanks to Margo, who also promised to visit and let her know about arrangements more in detail tomorrow. Then, without a backward glance in Craig and Janet's direction, Nicole left the station with Dusty and her son.

Carly looked over at Janet's heartbroken face and sighed as she watched Craig try and whisper encouraging thoughts to her. After a moment, Janet nodded and let him lead her out of the police station, neither of them saying a word to the people they left behind.

Watching Janet go, looking like the weight of the world was on her shoulders, Carly couldn't help but feel for the woman. While she and Jack's ex-fiancée would never be able to call each other friend, Carly knew what it was like to have a sister out in the world who hated her and she wouldn't wish that on anybody. The fact that she and Rosanna had been able to work out their differences and become as close as they had been would always be one of the most treasured miracles in her life.

As the image of her still missing sister invaded her thoughts, Carly felt her chest get tight with renewed pain and worry. Silently Jack slid an arm around her shoulders to hug her gently and pressed a small kiss to her temple, somehow sensing exactly what she was thinking.

"Look, I suggest you guys go home and get some much needed rest as well." Margo said, once again the voice of reason. When Jack looked like he was going to protest, she shook her head. "The CSU is still gathering evidence at the safe house and there won't be anything conclusive for at least 18 hours, we both know that. Go home, be with your kids. I'll call you if _anything _changes."

Jack could see that the emotional toll of the day was starting to take it's effect on Carly and he had to admit that he was feeling it too. So, with a soft goodbye, they also took their leave and headed home.

Dallas and Margo watched them go, before the young black man turned to his boss with a tight look on his face.

"Chief, I hate to be the one to say it but this is escalating _very_ quickly. If this sicko keeps this up, it's not going to be long before…" Dallas said and Margo nodded, the same tight expression on her face as well.

"Someone gets hurt." She finished for him. "I know."

"Yeah...or worse." Dallas added before wandering away to finish typing up the statements from earlier.

"Or worse." Margo echoed quietly, a cold chill running up and down her spine as the words left her mouth.

Trying to ignore the sense of foreboding, she instead focused on what she was going to order for dinner from the deli down the street.

"Chief Hughes?"

At her name, Margo looked up to see twenty-four year old bullpen receptionist, Chelsea Conners, holding her desk phone to her shoulder. The young woman bit her lip and brushed a lock of her brunette hair behind her ear before nervously gesturing to the phone base.

"Uh, the director of the FBI branch in Chicago is on line 1. And, um, he sounds pretty piss…um...upset."

Margo sighed and telling Chelsea to transfer the call to her private office, she headed upstairs. Rubbing the tension in the back of her neck, she mentally prepared herself for the upcoming call, knowing that it was only the start of what promised to be a _very_ long evening.


	7. To Love With Such A Fury is Overwhelming

**Author's Note: I'm sorry. I know you all must hate me...or just not care since I haven't gotten any nudges about this story like my other one LOL. Either way, I'm still writing it, just trying to balance real life as well. I hope you are all still reading :)**

**Just to make sure you all know there is strong _M_ content in this chapter...I repeat...strong BOW CHICKA WOW WOW content! :)**

ENJOY!  
~JP

Family Imperfect  
by Jaclyn Parker

_"I must tell you that I was always afraid of the fury with which I loved you.  
It overwhelmed me. I thought it beyond comprehension, therefore my silence."  
__~Henry Rollins_

* * *

Jack and Carly rode to Milltown with very little dialogue, most of it done by Jack who received monosyllabic responses to anything he said. This confused him enough that within five minutes he had given up any attempt at a conversation and sat brooding in the driver's seat. Arriving home Jack opened the front door for Carly and she slid in by him, still silent and her eyes not even glancing his way.

Carly headed straight for the desk and the blinking red light on their answering machine. As Jack went around turning the lights on in the darkening living room, they listened to Molly's voice tell them that they had heard what happened and that she and Lee had the kids. She said that she would drop them off later that night after feeding them dinner, hopefully giving her and Jack enough time to shower and rest before the onslaught of their children's questions.

Carly erased the message, sighing heavily, before turning to make her way upstairs. Jack had gone into the kitchen after hearing that the kids were fine to get a bottle of water, only to return to an empty living room. Taking a long sip of the cool clear liquid as he climbed the stairs, he made his way towards the master bedroom.

Upon opening the door he nearly fell flat on his face as he tripped over one of Carly's shoes that lay just inside the doorframe. Correcting his balance he noticed that, along with the mate to the shoe by his feet, the rest of her ash and debris stained clothing was littered from there to the doorway of the master bathroom, where he could hear the shower water running.

Jack chuckled as he bent down to pick up the pile of clothes before him, only to have his stomach turn over at the scent that drifted back towards him. Images of what had happened earlier that day, followed by even worse ones of what _could_ _have_ happened, assailed his mind and Jack found himself holding the offensive articles of clothing out in front of him like a grenade.

Walking across the bedroom, he paused in front of the trashcan by the dresser. He stared at it for a moment but ultimately deposited the bundle next to it instead of inside of it like he wanted. Jack had been married enough times, especially to this particular woman, to know that you _never_ throw out your wife's clothing unless you were specifically told to…and even then you _still_ waited until you received double confirmation that it was okay.

Jack drained the last of his water bottle, tossed it in the trash can, and stripped out of his own clothes. Standing there in just his boxer briefs, he tossed his clothes on top of Carly's, knowing that even though it had been a good dress shirt and pair of slacks, he would never again be able to wear them without remembering today.

He stretched as he meandered over to the bathroom door and opened it up. The heat from the shower hit him full in the face and he took a minute to catch his breath. He used the few moments to once again appreciate the newly renovated room.

Carly had gotten a nice sized bonus check from the initial launch of her clothing line and she had been so excited about using it to remodel the master bathroom that Jack couldn't say no. He _especially_ couldn't say no when he saw that her vision included a two-person sunken tub, heated ceramic flooring, towel warming bars, and individual vanities. However, it was Jack's favorite part of the new bathroom that was currently in use by his wife and he early let his eyes roam over Carly's shapely outline in the frosted glass of the new double wide shower.

Jack walked over and leaned against the glass, knocking gently.

"Hey you, looking for some company in there?"

There was no response and he wondered if she had heard him over the sound of the running water. Deciding to speed up the process, he stepped out of his underwear and quietly entered the shower.

"Hey Beautiful, I figured we could do our part to save the Earth and conserve some water." Jack joked to his wife's back, as she ran her slender fingers through her long blonde hair. He thought he heard her say something but her back was still to him so he couldn't quite get it. "What did you say, Babe?"

"I said get out." Carly's voice floated back to his ears, her words clear enough that time around for him to frown.

"Honey, I was just joking." Jack started to say, but she whirled around to face him and her sudden movement caught him off guard.

"Oh yeah, everything is just a huge joke to you, isn't it, Jack Snyder?" Carly said, glaring up into his face. Her angry tears mingled with drops of shower water as she stared at him furiously. "Get out! Get out of here!"

"Carly, what the…?' Jack tried to get some answers about her attitude but was stopped by her shoving him away from her by the chest with overt force. He stared at her in shock as he steadied himself, but Carly didn't even seem to notice as she reached out to push him again.

"What were you thinking, Jack?" Carly yelled at him. "What the hell where you thinking, running back into that house?"

She began to hit him with tightly wound up fists and Jack braced himself against the rain of blows.

"I watched you go into that house and it blew up, Jack! It blew up and all I could do was think about having to tell our children that you were gone! How could you do that to me? How could you even _consider_ going back into that house after everything we promised each other? After everything we've been through? How could you not even think about us? About your family?"

As her words flowed over him, he realized now how terrified she must have been and he was ashamed to admit that at the time, all he had been thinking about had been his job.

"I'm sorry, Baby, I'm so sorry." Jack said as he held her to him tightly, feeling her entire body convulse with her sobs. "You're right. You're absolutely right, I wasn't thinking."

"Jack, I don't know what I'd do if I lost you. I don't…" Carly said, giving up her attack and finally just clinging to him like she had wanted to do earlier.

"I know, Carly. I almost lost you too." He said, his voice catching as he held on to her just as tightly as she was to him. He bent his chin and kissed her hair, inhaling the sweet strawberry vanilla scent of her recently rinsed out conditioner.

For ten long minutes they let the hot water run over their bodies and wash away not only the dirt and grime of the explosion but the intense feelings of panic and fear that had been pent up all day

Jack was the first one to move, releasing her and tilting her chin up to press a deep kiss to her lips. He went to move back but Carly slid her arms around his waist and pulled him back to kiss him again. Pulling away, she looked into his face, her blue gaze searching his deep chocolate brown one.

"Make me feel safe, Jack. Make me feel alive." She murmured to him, her lips pressing small kisses to his chest to accent her words before looking back up at him. "Make love to me."

Jack didn't give a verbal response; one wasn't needed.

Reaching behind them, he turned the shower off and slowly led her out into the steam filled bathroom. Grabbing a towel from the warming bar, he wrapped it around his waist quickly, before reaching for the larger one to place around her shoulders. In firm, but loving circular motions he dried her off delighting in the way her breath hitched as he skimmed the towel over her breasts and then between her thighs,. The back of his hand purposely slipped between the material and her skin, just barely brushing the soft curls that lay in the juncture and he bit back a smirk at the tremble he felt go through her. Straightening up, Jack re-wrapped her in the peach colored terry cloth, before lifting her into his arms and carrying her out into the bedroom.

The heating system was on in the house but the temperature difference between the bedroom and the bathroom was still noticeable. Jack placed Carly down in the middle of their bed and tightened the security of the over-sized towel around her, making sure she was covered up to her knees. He eased himself off the bed and went to his pajama drawer, pulling out a pair of light grey jersey cotton pants and solid black T-shirt to put on.

"Jack?" Carly said, her voice and gaze confused when she noticed him turn back around with a small bottle in his hand. When he got closer she recognized it as the ultra expensive cocoa-butter body cream that she had splurged on for the holiday season.

"Shhh." He said to silence her, shaking his head.

Pouring a liberal amount in his hands, he began to rub them together, the friction of the movements heating up the sweet scented lotion. Then, kneeling on the bed by her feet, he lifted one of her legs and placed her foot in his lap. The long drawn out moan she gave, as well as her head flopping back against the pillows informed him that the massage he was now conducting on her was more than appreciated.

He made his way up her long legs, delighting in the small gasps and moans she made as his strong hands molded her into a happy woman. It wasn't until he reached her waist that he felt the shift in her breathing. By the time he had turned her over onto her stomach and was finishing up around her shoulders, he knew that the newly detected tenseness he felt in the muscles there wasn't from stress any longer. Going with his instincts Jack leaned over from where he had lightly straddled her, just below her delicately curved derriere, and pressed a light kiss in between her shoulder blades, then continued to do the same in a line down her spine. Upon arriving at the small of her back, a soft gasp echoed in the room from his massage patient.

"Jack," Carly whispered out, the underlying note of hunger and longing in her voice apparent even when slightly muffled into her pillow.

"Hmm?" Jack said, his fingertips skimming over her extremely sensitive skin as he pressed another kiss to the same place, his tongue darting out to test the taste of the flesh there.

Feeling her shift underneath him to try and turn over he obliged in moving to the side as he watched her raise up on one elbow with the towel she had been laying on, held up to her chest.

"I said make me feel alive G-man…not try to kill me in a different way."

Besides having dropped at least an octave, Carly's voice was husky and slightly breathless. The look into her eyes mirrored his own, dark and full of desire, and Jack didn't hesitate to move to the next level.

With a slight smirk on his lips, Jack slipped an index finger in between where she was holding the towel up in front of her chest and her skin. Tugging with only a small amount of force he removed the only roadblock to having full access to her body and threw it across the room.

"Jack!" Carly exclaimed, lifting her head to see where it had landed.

She frowned even harder when she noticed that it had landed in the potted base of the live plant in the corner. Not only that, but apparently Jack's aim had a pre-disposition for that poor plant since the matching one Jack had used to dry off was also wrapped around the base and now covered in dirt.

"Jack Snyder, those were two of our good towels!" Carly huffed, thinking of the rest of the beautifully monogrammed set that had been gifted to them for their wedding and thanking God they were safe from the madman she had married.

"Don't worry about it. I'll buy you Bed, Bath, and Beyond tomorrow if you're still upset." Jack said, refusing to blink over anything as unimportant as towels and leaning over to nibble on the side of her neck.

As his teeth nipped the sensitive skin just under her left earlobe, towels were suddenly the last thing on Carly's mind.

Jack's hands slipped off of her shoulders where he had been slowly pulling her towards him and bent his head to kiss each creamy one. Having succeeded in drawing her closer, they now roamed freely over her smooth back and danced around her hips, his thumbs grazing the sensitive area at her hip bone.

Carly's hands had not been idle though and were now working to get his pajama pants out of the way. She couldn't, for the life of her, remember when she had gotten the black T-shirt off but the instant her fingers touched his bare chest she couldn't have cared less. Despite being almost twenty years older than when they first met, her G-man was strong and muscled and the sight of him made her breath catch. Obviously it wasn't the first time she had seen him bare-chested…or the second…or even the hundredth…but every time she had the same thought.

He was her soulmate. He belonged to her in a way no one else ever could. He was completely hers and hers alone.

_Mine_, she thought fiercely.

"I always was. From that first day I saw you standing on a dusty run-down ranch in Montana with your adorably short hair, stupid plaid shirt, and jeans tight enough to make a grown man cry when you turned around." Jack said, tipping her head up in order to make her look at him.

Carly gasped, realizing she had made her last mental claim to him out loud. Without warning, his mouth covered hers and inhaled her surprised breath. She arched her back so that her bare chest connected with his and made the same intense effort to declare his mouth for her own. Finally pulling away to allow them both to take a breath, Carly looked into his eyes again.

"I love you so much it hurts sometimes." she said and felt tears gather in her eyes as he lovingly brushed a finger down her cheek.

"You…you and the kids…are my life, Carly. Never _ever_ forget that."

Unexpectedly his words caused her to blush and with another loving smile, he continued his assault on her skin. As he kissed each cheek and then her mouth again, she felt his hand slide down to graze the heat forming in between her legs. She lifted her hips and slightly parted her thighs to eagerly permit him access. He slipped a finger inside her, watching her eyes close in pure ecstasy as he teased her in a way no one but him knew how to do.

Feeling Jack's gaze on her face as his fingers played her body like a finely tuned instrument, Carly opened her eyes to meet it full on. Normally, with an act this intimate and a look that intense, it would cause a woman to look away out of modesty, but Carly wasn't shy.

Not before him; _never _before him.

Allowing herself to go with the waves of pleasure that were about to overtake her, she gripped Jack's forearms and let loose the little groans of bliss that she knew drove him wild. As predicted, the muscles underneath her death grip tightened and flexed as Jack fought back the urge to say to hell with foreplay. However, within a moment or two, it didn't matter because Carly felt that tightly wound bubble of pleasure pop and she cried out Jack's name.

Jack hungrily watched as she arched her body off of the bed, her eyes unable to stop from closing this time. The sight before him was so incredible that his mind barely registered the slight sting of the half-moon nail marks that were sure to be left on his arms in the end.

Sensing that Carly's body was shifting from happiness to overstimulation, he slid his fingers out of her and waited for her to come back down to him. Upon opening her eyes again, when she felt she could form coherent thought, she noticed that Jack was still watching her intently. He was unreadable at first but, to her extreme surprise and humility, she finally recognized a look of pure wonder.

"Do you have _any_ idea how beautiful you are?" Jack asked, the awe in his face transferring to her by way of his voice.

"Thank you." she said, accepting his praise only because she knew that he meant it from the bottom of his heart.

Carly didn't wait for more words, the undeniable pull of her body pushing her forward. While it had momentarily been sated, it knew that the real thing was only a few caresses away.

Sitting up, Carly pushed his shoulders back so that Jack was now the one lying on his back and she was leaning over him. Her hands skimmed his hips, teasing the trim groin muscles there and allowing her breasts to slightly brush against the straining erection he was maintaining. Looking down she took in the sight and then looked back up into Jack's face, smiling coyly. One of the many things that she loved about this man was that he was...well…let's just say he definitely _was_.

The chuckle he had at her "cat that ate the canary" look died in his throat when he felt her slender hands wrap around him. Reaching down after only a few slow strokes and a whisper of breath across the tip, he shook his head when she looked at him in confusion.

"I appreciate it, Baby, but the way I feel right now…" Jack didn't even finish his sentence before Carly had climbed up to position herself just right.

They kissed deeply and he felt her guide him to her entrance. He slid in and they both moaned at the exquisite feeling of being joined. He paused and let her adjust to him and for him to adjust to her. Finally she moved her hips beneath him and then they began to move together. Soon they were both heading towards that familiar cliff and before they knew it they were leaping off, hand in hand, with echoing cries of the other's name.

In what felt like a few blissful hours, but were most likely minutes, the haze they were under lifted enough for Jack to perform a quick cleansing on their happy bodies and slide back into bed in record time.

As he pulled his sleepy wife to him, he felt her yawn against his chest.

"What about the kids?" Carly murmured but was snuggling closer into his body as she asked the question.

Glancing at the bedside alarm clock he noted that, going by the voicemail on their machine, Molly wouldn't be bringing the kids home for at least another hour and half.

"We have time before they are dropped off. Rest a while." Jack replied softly, pressing a kiss to her unruly natural curls.

"Mmmm, good." Carly mumbled even quieter this time around since by now she had already been lulled half asleep by the safety and comfort of his arms. "Love you."

"Love you too." Jack said, curling his arm around her bare shoulders and using the other to set the alarm to wake up in an hour.

Just before he dozed off completely he felt her stir beside him and then a small tap on his bare chest.

"Jack…"

Cracking one eye open to look down at her, she gave him an unhurried smile and a small yawn before she spoke.

"Just wanted to let you know…I still want new towels."

His deep chuckle sounded through the room but it quickly faded away as they both fell into a contented slumber with smiles on their faces.


	8. A Moment Into A Memory

**Author's Note: No, I didn't forget about this story. LOL I actually have about three other chapters fully written but life got in the way more than I expected. Plus, the lack of reviews has been discouraging to say the least. I'm not looking for sympathy or laying any guilt or stoking my own ego, I'm just trying to explain a little bit about how I feel. I might post one or two more after this, but if it doesn't pick up then I might consider putting this story on HIATUS. So if you are reading the story, please just drop a quick line (It was good; It sucked, blah blah blah) and let me know if you are still interested. Thanks guys! :)**

**That being over and done with, I hope you enjoy this chapter!**  
**~JP**

Family Imperfect  
by Jaclyn Parker

_"A moment lasts all of a second, but the memory lives on forever."  
~Unknown_

* * *

Upon opening his eyes, Jack immediately noticed how dark the room had gotten since the time that he and Carly had fallen asleep after making love. With a glance at the clock, he noticed it was set to go off in less than two minutes and rubbed a weary hand over his face. He immediately winced as his hand came in contact with the bruise on his cheek and the cut on his forehead that he had sustained from the explosion earlier. Reaching over to turn off the alarm clock, he let out a slight gasp as muscles in his body that he hadn't used in years protested any movement whatsoever.

"Sonofa…" Jack muttered, thinking that the expression "hit by a Mac truck" was putting it lightly.

In the dim moonlight shining in through their bedroom window, Jack looked down to see Carly was still fast asleep in his arms. He smiled to see that the expression on her face was more peaceful and relaxed than he had seen it in weeks. Kissing her gently he extracted himself from the bed, pausing only momentarily as she mumbled something in her sleep before wiggling deeper under the covers.

Yanking on the previously discarded sweatpants and T-shirt, along with a pair of boxer briefs, he slipped out of the bedroom and headed downstairs. He wandered around for a few moments, turning on various lights in the house that had been neglected earlier such as the kitchen including the front porch light.

He had just finished making himself a fresh pot of coffee when the sound of car doors slamming shut and loud voices outside reached his ears. Sure enough the front door opened only moments later and the kids voices echoed in the living room, calling for him and Carly.

"Hey, guys, keep it down, okay? Your mom is still taking a nap." Jack said, coming out of the kitchen. He barely had time to place his hot coffee on the fireplace mantle before he found himself being launched at by his oldest daughter.

"Daddy, you're okay!" Sage cried, holding on to him for dear life and burying her face in his shirt.

"Of, course he is, Sage. We told you that." Molly spoke up from the front door.

She was putting the kids' backpacks on the floor with the help of Mattie, who had been in charge of the diaper bag. Lee had been in charge of carrying a sleepy looking Emmy in her carrier and when their eyes met, he sent Jack a guy nod that spoke of relief himself.

"I know, but…" Sage trailed off looking up into Jack's face. Her eyes took in the cuts and bruise on his face before sighing and squeezing him again.

Jack ignored the twinges of pain he felt as he bent over slightly and kissed the top of Sage's head.

"I'm fine, Baby. Mom is too." Jack said, softly.

"Good, cause you scared the hell out of us." Parker spoke up and Jack lifted his eyes to meet the faces of his two sons.

"I'm sorry. We should have called you right when we got to the station to let you know we were okay." Jack apologized.

He reached out and drew Parker and then J.J. into an individual one armed hug. While Jack knew they were too old to throw themselves at him like Sage had, when he felt the tension leave their bodies in that small hug he knew that it hadn't meant they were any less worried.

"It's fine, Dad." J.J. said, giving him his patented easy going smile. "We've just decided to implant you and Mom with those GPS chips that they have for pets."

"Only if we're allowed to do the same to you guys." Carly's voice came from the direction of the stairs and Jack felt Sage detach herself from him and hurl herself towards her mother.

"Mmmm, easy, Sweetie." Carly said, wincing as a flash of pain shot up her arm even as she continued to hold Sage close and kiss her hair.

"What's wrong?" Sage asked worriedly, pulling away and running her eyes over Carly's pajama clad body as if she had X-ray vision. "Did I hurt you?"

"No, honey, no. I just have a small cut on my arm but it's kind of sore right now. Otherwise, I'm fine." Carly assured her and accepted hugs from J.J. and Parker when they came over to her too.

"Seriously, didn't I tell you, not so long ago, never to scare me again?" Molly piped up, placing her hands on her hips.

Sage finally let go of Carly, who sent a small smile at her cousin as she walked over to hug her.

"Sorry, Cuz, won't happen again."

Molly hugged her hard and blew a strand of hair from her face when she pulled back, refusing to let the tears that shone in her eyes fall.

"Good." Lee chimed in, from where he had placed Emmy's carrier on the living room coffee table and gave Carly a gentle hug himself. "Cause when my wife is pissed…um…angry, then I usually end up paying for it, even when it's not my bloody fault."

"Welcome to the club." Jack said, smiling at Lee, and settling on the couch with his coffee again and Sage already folded into his side.

"Hey, it happens to married people too! What a relief." Parker said cheekily.

"Watch it, Yank." Mattie said, tucking a light pink blanket around the now sleeping baby in the carrier before standing up to glare at her boyfriend.

Parker raised his hands up in supplication before grinning and winking at her, reluctantly causing Mattie to roll her eyes and smile.

"Hey, Mom, can we watch a movie before bed? All of us?" Sage asked suddenly, her deep hazel eyes questioning.

"Sure, I don't see why not." Jack answered instead and Sage smiled at him before looking again at Carly.

"Mom? Is it okay?" She asked again.

"Hey, I just said it was okay. Doesn't my answer mean anything?" Jack said, frowning at his daughter.

"No."

The simple two-lettered word came from Parker, J.J., Sage, Molly, Lee, Mattie, and Carly practically simultaneously.

"Wow, okay then." Jack huffed, but a smile was being fought from emerging. "It's a good thing Emmy's asleep or else I'm pretty sure I would have been voted off the island."

"Huh?" Sage said, her brow furrowing in puzzlement.

"It's from the show Survivor." Jack said and Sage just shook her head.

"On CBS."

Again Sage just shook her head, the blank look still on her face.

"Sage, honey, there are other channels on the television than TeenNick, MTV, and the Disney Channel and…oh, forget it, I'm depressing myself." Jack muttered, admitting defeat due to the fact that his pre-teen daughter was staring at him like he had three heads.

Everyone laughed and Carly turned to Molly and Lee.

"You're welcome to stay if you want." She said, looked down at her pink and blue plaid flannel pajamas and then back at them. "Um, if you overlook the informal attire."

"No, that's okay. Spend some time with your kids. I'll call you tomorrow." Molly said, leaning over to kiss her goodbye and waving at the rest of the family.

"Take care, guys. We'll see you soon." Lee echoed as he also waved, motioning to Mattie.

The teenager nodded and quickly kissed Parker's cheek before heading over to put her coat on again. "I'll see you in 'prison' tomorrow."

At her uncle's stern look, Mattie rolled her eyes and gave an over exaggerated smile in Parker's direction.

"I mean, I'll see you tomorrow in that lovely brick building where we are receiving an excellent and proper education that will serve us on our continuous path of life." Mattie said, loftily.

She giggled loudly when Lee just groaned and grabbed her in headlock, playfully pushing her out of the door that he had held open. Molly followed her husband and their adopted daughter out into the night, tossing a final amused goodbye over her shoulder as she closed the door behind them.

"Wow, no wonder you guys are dating. She's as nuts as you." J.J. said teasingly to Parker.

"Hey, whoa, hey!" Carly said, stopping the fight she saw brewing at the instant Parker's hands curled into fists. "How about we pick that movie before it gets too late and I change my mind."

"Really?" Sage asked, excitedly.

"Yeah, why not? You guys did all your homework for tomorrow, right?" Carly asked and at their nods, she shrugged. "Okay then."

"Can we have popcorn?" Sage asked.

"Yes, a small bowl." Carly said, nodding.

"And soda?" Parker jumped in.

"One can, each." Jack replied this time to the query.

"And those left over pieces of Mississippi Mud Pie that Emma made?" J.J. finished, receiving a look from his brother and sister. "What? Come on, if they're being this agreeable than I'm going for the mother lode here."

Jack and Carly laughed and just simply nodded again. Apparently afraid that if they lingered their parents would change their minds, all three rushed towards the kitchen, leaving a slight breeze in their wake.

"Think we're being too soft?" Carly asked, bending over to unstrap Emmy and lift the sleeping baby onto her shoulder. As the familiar weight of her child settled against her, Carly's eyes closed briefly. She inhaled the soft, sweet smell that was Emma Rose Snyder and pressed her cheek to the baby's downy hair.

"Probably." Jack said, rising from the couch to walk over to her. He bent over and pressed his lips to their youngest daughter's head in a kiss. "But I think we need this family movie night just as much as they do."

Carly simply nodded and shifted Emmy higher up on her shoulder. She was about to say something when the sound of squabbling and something ceramic hitting the floor came from the kitchen.

"I'll go deal with _that_." Jack sighed, but laughter tinged his voice. "Why don't you put Emmy to bed?"

Carly rolled her eyes and quickly kissed him on the lips before heading to do just that. By the time she came back downstairs, the kids had somehow changed into their pajamas and the movie's opening credits were on the screen.

"Seriously guys, the new Star Trek…again?" Carly asked and was quickly shushed.

The silencing was led by Parker who was about as deep down in the armchair as he could be without becoming a piece of the furniture himself. Stepping over J.J., who was sprawled out on the floor in front of the couch, Carly settled onto the sofa on the other side of Jack, who once again had Sage curled into his side.

However, by the time the end of the movie rolled around, Sage had managed to crawl over her father and mother to spread out out on the one end of the couch with her head in Carly's lap, fast asleep. In fact, as into the movie as the boys had been in the beginning the look in their eyes read pure exhaustion as Jack stood, stretched, and turned the TV off.

Bending down he lifted Sage into his arms, waving off Carly's murmurings of how she was getting too old to be carried to bed. As the girl wrapped her arms around Jack's neck and snuggled close to him, he didn't feel any difference between her and when he carried Emmy in his arms or in his heart.

Carly kissed her daughter's cheek and then ushered the boys upstairs behind Jack and Sage, pausing only to turn the lights out behind her. She was startled to see both boys waiting for her in the upstairs hallway but her heart swelled at the soft and sleepy "I love you"s that they gave her, accompanied with a hug before they disappeared into their respective rooms. She was about to go into the master bedroom when she heard a noise that required her to make one more stop.

When Jack quietly left Sage's room from tucking her into bed, something deep inside told him that he wouldn't find his wife in their bedroom. Sure enough, upon opening the door to the nursery, he saw her holding a fussy Emmy up on her shoulder in the middle of the room.

Carly's eyes were closed as the rocked the whimpering baby and she was humming softly, a familiar tune that made him smile. She didn't startle or open her eyes when his voice sounded in her ear a moment later.

"I can't believe you remember that song. I don't think I've played it fully since the day we got married in Montana." Jack said and she felt his arms wrap around her and Emmy from behind.

"I remember, Jack." Carly answered softly and allowed Jack to support her weight as she leaned back into his embrace. "I remember everything about that day. I remember every time you ever sang to me…or held me…or loved me. Every memory of my life with you is ingrained in my soul."

"There are some things that I wish you didn't remember." Jack said just as softly, thinking of all the times that he had hurt her, no matter how unintentional.

"No, Jack." Carly said, fiercely even though she kept her voice low. She turned in his embrace, hugging Emmy to her and still rocking slightly as the baby fought falling back to sleep. "Those memories belong to me. They are mine, _all_ of them; the good, the bad…and the beautiful."

Jack smiled down at her, the last of her words tugging one of his own memories of that Montana wedding day and the vows he spoke to her.

"The very," He bent down and kissed Emmy's head before moving up to Carly's lips and bestowing a gentle one there as well, "_very_, beautiful."

Jack wrapped his arms around them again and drew Carly into his chest so that Emmy was between them. He began to sway and hum, after a moment singing the words aloud quietly.

"Through the wrong, through the right, through the soul sacrifice, we have loved through the rise and the fall. And it's worth it all."

As Jack sang and they danced, Carly's eyes drifted closed again so she felt, rather than saw his one hand begin to rub tiny circles on Emmy's back like he always did when it was his turn to put her to bed. Almost immediately a soft contented sigh came from the baby and puffed out onto Carly's neck, tickling the skin below her ear. Even though they both knew that Emmy was asleep a few moments later, they continued to move in time to Jack's humming. Eventually, even that stopped until it became them swaying to just the sound of their daughter's gentle breathing.

The horror of the day hadn't been completely forgotten but, with their baby girl between them and their older children sleeping peacefully down the hall, Jack and Carly were content with making that moment into another beautiful memory.


	9. We Never Anticipate The Least Expected

**Author's Note: Wow, you are all so fantastic. I'm so thrilled that you are all still out there reading this. And if you have any doubts as to whether the reviews motivate me just know that I've been laid up in bed for the better part of the week with a stomach flu and I _still_ kept thinking, 'I have to post the next chapter!I have to!" :)**  
**So, without furthur delay I hope you enjoy it...and don't murder me afterwards!**  
**~JP**

Family Imperfect  
by Jaclyn Parker

_"What we anticipate seldom occurs, what we least expect generally happens."  
__~Benjamin Disraeli _

* * *

Mattie pulled up to Emma's farmhouse, humming to the song on the radio even as she turned the car off and slid out of it.

The late 2006 Volvo S60 might not have been a Shelby GT but it was her first car and she was very proud of it. Lee and Molly had surprised her with it her for her 17th birthday and even though she was working hard to make the payments, they helped by promising to pay her insurance until she was through college. Of course, that also gave them the feeling that if they needed her to run errands for them they were fully entitled to ask her. But Mattie didn't really mind since it just gave all the more reason to go driving in _her_ car.

However, the errand she was running today wasn't for Lee or Molly and, to Mattie, it was hardly an errand.

"Hello? Aunt Emma?" Mattie called wiping her boots on the welcome mat just outside the kitchen door even though there was barely any snow on them.

"Hey, Kiddo, great timing. She's just been changed and fed so she is all set to go." Emma said, carrying Emmy in her arms as she entered the kitchen from the living room.

Mattie grinned and held out her arms as the baby reached for her, the two little teeth she had recently cut flashing briefly in a huge gummy smile.

"Perfect! Hi there, Miss E!" Mattie said, bouncing Emmy on her hip and burying her face in the little girl's neck, making her laugh.

"Where are you headed this afternoon?" Emma asked, handing Emmy's diaper bag over to the teen.

"Well, Carly said she only needed a couple more hours to work on her designs so I figured Emmy and I will hit the baby swings at the park and then the coffee shop. They have those vanilla biscotti that she loves to gum and I could totally go for a caramel frappacino." Mattie explained, holding Emmy's arms out so Emma could slip the baby's cream colored puffy jacket on her.

Emmy frowned when the matching hat was placed firmly on her head but, other than pouting, she left it alone. By the look on her face, though, Mattie knew that the moment she was buckled into her car seat that hat was going to be flying across the back of the car.

"Well, it's the perfect day for a park visit." Emma said, noting the abnormally warm day for early March. "Just make sure she keeps that hat on."

"Yes, ma'am." Mattie said, tossing a knowing look down at the baby in her arms who just stared back with the most deceivingly innocent look she owned.

Rolling her eyes, Mattie placed Emmy in the car seat that rested on top of the kitchen island and buckled the tiny girl in. She stepped back and patiently waited as Emma tugged on the straps like she normally did in order to check that they were tight enough.

"How is Carly doing? I've tried to talk to her but she just says she is fine and changes the subject." Emma asked, stepping away from the carrier with one last good tug on the straps.

"She is okay, for the most part, I think. I mean, Parker says she's trying to stay strong for them but he knows she's really worried about her sister." Mattie said, handing Emmy back the teething ring she had tried to toss on the floor without even glancing at the baby.

"We all are." Emma said softly, frowning as she thought of the woman she had come to love as her own; both Carly and Rosanna.

"Aunt Emma, it's...it's been three weeks. I don't want to say it in front of Parker, I just can't help but think...I dunno. There's been no ransom, no more notes. Do you think…?" Mattie started to ask but stopped herself. She didn't want to say it out loud; she even felt guilty just thinking it.

"Good thoughts and good prayers, Sweetheart." Emma said, pressing her palm to Mattie's cheek. "Everything will be okay."

"But...after all this time? How do you know?" Mattie asked, biting her lip.

"I don't know, Mattie, but...I have faith. I have faith in the love that Carly has for her sister, the instincts and skills of Jack, the support of you and all of us. No matter what happens, it will be okay. Eventually." Emma said, smiling softly at the young girl. She could see that Mattie was having trouble accepting her words, but at her age and with everything that had gone on in her life Emma knew that those words were sound.

Mattie suddenly reached over and gave the older woman a hug, startling her.

"I wish you had been around five years ago. I don't think my mum would have lost her bundle then." Mattie said, the pain of her past tinging her voice.

"Everything happens for a reason." Emma said, hugging the girl harder. Having been at the trial the year before and hearing about what the teen had gone through, she was touched that Mattie had so much faith in her. "You're in my life now and from the way Parker looks at you, I think you'll be there for a long time to come."

Mattie laughed softly and pulled away, the firey blush on her cheeks speaking volumes. Her green eyes caught Emma's own gaze and she smiled. "I love you, you know. Parker always said I would but...I really do."

"I love you too, you silly girl." Emma quickly reciprocated before gently pushing the girl away, trying to compose herself.

A loud squeal from the carrier caught both their attention and they let out a laugh at the indignant baby sitting there. Emmy pounded her teething ring onto the side of her carrier and squealed again, kicking her tiny snow booted feet for good measure.

"We love you too, Emmy!" Mattie said, coming over to snuggled her nose against the baby's warm cheek and re-lifted the diaper bag to head out.

"Okay, well you two have fun and tell Carly that I'll call her later tonight." Emma said, kissing both Emmy and then Mattie's cheeks, her voice gruff with still checked emotion.

Mattie smiled and nodded, giving Emma another quick hug goodbye. Picking up the carrier, she then coaxed Emmy to wave "bye-bye" to the older woman but, like all the other times she tried, the gesture just ended up with the baby inadvertently waving back towards herself. Sharing a laugh with Emma, Mattie made sure that Emmy was properly bundled before finally heading out to her car.

Since this was not the first time that someone in the Reynolds family had transported Emmy, nor would it be the last, the car seat base was already expertly installed. After snapping the car seat into it and giving it a quick shake test, they were ready to go. Waving goodbye again to Emma, who stood in the doorway of the screened in porch, Mattie slowly pulled away from the farm.

About two miles into the ride Mattie turned on her CD player and the car was filled with music. While not loud enough to hurt the baby's eardrums, but up enough that she could hear it, Mattie began singing along to the songs. Even though the car seat was rear facing, Mattie could see Emmy's little legs pumping energetically along to the music when she glanced into the rearview mirror.

"That's my girl! I'm gonna turn you into a Springsteen fan yet!" Mattie said and laughed when Emmy let out a loud happy squeal to the chorus of "Glory Days".

A beeping noise sounded in her ear and turning down the music, she pressed a finger to the earpiece she wore.

"Hello, Party City Central. How can we help you?"

"Wow, Oz, you are a dork."

At the sound of Parker's voice in her ear, Mattie couldn't help but grin. She had been 99% sure it had been him who was calling when she hit the button but that extra one percent just made it that much better.

"Yeah, well, us girls know how to rock out. Right, Emmy?" Mattie asked, glancing in the back again even as she carefully turned into the beginnings of Old Town.

In response to Mattie's statement a cream colored baby hat, complete with faux tan teddy bear ears, sailed towards the back windshield.

"Oz, I swear, if you are playing her that Bruce Springsteen crap again, I'm gonna hurt you." Parker said, with fake menace dripping in his voice.

"Come on, Yank, 'The Boss' is awesome and you know it!" Mattie said, suppressing a giggle at Parker's exaggerated sigh on the other end of the line.

"Look, I told you before. My baby sister is gonna be a Led Zeppelin fan and there's nothing you can do about it."

At that, Mattie couldn't help but laugh and pulled into one of the spaces in the parking lot of the park.

"Yeah, we'll see about that, Buddy." Mattie said as turned off the engine and got out of the car. Keeping a close eye on Emmy in the back, she popped open the trunk to pull out the stroller.

Parker just grunted into the phone and Mattie rolled her eyes again at Emmy while she unhooked the baby from the car seat and strapped her into the stroller. While the Emmy didn't know why Mattie was making silly faces at her, she was very amused and laughed, swinging her hands up to try and grab the girl's long brown hair. Mattie expertly maneuvered herself out of the line of fire, while simultaneously placing the teddy bear hat back on the infant's head.

"So are you guys at the park?" Parker's voice came again in her ear.

"Yup, we just got here." Mattie answered and handed Emmy a teething toy when the baby made like she was going to try and take the hat off her head again.

Now that Emmy was properly distracted, Mattie grabbed the diaper bag and shoved it underneath the stroller. Double checking that she had everything, Mattie straightened and leaned against her car.

"Hey, are you almost done your physics homework?" She asked, tilting her head back and soaking up the warmth of the late afternoon sun.

"Yeah, only a little more to go. Why, what's up?" Parker responded curiously.

"Well, why don't you meet up with us at Java in about an hour?" Mattie said and noted that Emmy was finally realizing she was in the park and kicking her legs in excitement.

"Yeah, I think I can do that. I'll call you when I leave the house, 'kay?" Parker said and Mattie smiled.

"Sounds perfect." She said and let out a half sigh, half laugh when Emmy started to grunt and throw herself forward in the stroller. "Okay, the little diva is getting a bit antsy so we're gonna go hit the swings now."

"Okay, Oz. Love you."

"Love you too. Ciao for now."

Mattie hit the end button on her ear piece and pulled it off her ear, contemplating whether or not she wanted to take it with her. Emma grunted again and made a demanding noise, making Mattie shake her head.

"Okay, okay, Miss E. Let's go." Mattie said and after tossing the earpiece on her front passenger seat, she locked her car and grabbed the stroller handles.

Just as she was about to move someone bumped into her; hard. Startled, Mattie jumped back even as she heard something hit the ground.

"I'm so sorry! I wasn't looking where I was going." The man said and both of them bent down to pick up his wallet at the same time.

"No worries." Mattie said, handing him his wallet.

"Cute baby. The 'E' on the diaper bag stand for her name?" The man said, rising to his feet and offering his hand to help Mattie up.

As she finally looked into his face, Mattie felt a chill go down her spine. There was nothing remotely remarkable about him; in fact he was eerily average, like he was genetically designed _not_ to stand out in a crowd. But there was something that Mattie just couldn't put her finger on.

It was just a feeling and all she knew was that she wanted to be away from him as soon as possible.

"Uh, yeah." Mattie said quickly and gripped the stroller handles tightly. "Um, I'm sorry, mate, but we gotta go."

Without letting him say anything in return and not caring how rude it came across, she immediately pushed the stroller forward on the path towards the playground. When they were about 100 feet away, she glanced back over her shoulder and found that he had disappeared. While it should have put her at ease that same cold shiver went through her again instead and had her hurrying to the more populated playground area.

However, forty minutes later, the strange man had been completely erased from her thoughts as she gently pushed Emmy in the baby swing. The infant's cheeks were rosy from the wind in her face and her blue eyes were bright from laughing so hard.

"Okay, Miss E, this is your last push. All the other babies have gone home and we have to meet Yank in about 15 minutes." Mattie said, grinning as she reached forward to grab the edge of the swing and held it. Pulling it towards her slightly, enough that when she let go the swing would go back at a moderate pace, she took a deep breath. "Ready? Say '_wheeeeeeee_'!"

The swing went backwards with a nice amount of force as Mattie released her hold; one that would normally make another baby the same age cry out of fear. Yet Emmy's belly laugh rang out in the quietly deserted playground area.

"Miss E, you are seriously cracked." Mattie said, shaking her head in amusement.

She knew that later on, Emmy was going to be "that kid" on the playground: the one who experimented head first down the slide and the one who crawled across the _top_ of the monkey bars before swinging by her knees even when wearing a dress. She would be the one that all the kids wanted to mimic because she always looked like she was having fun and the one that all the parents ran after with their arms outstretched in preparation for disaster.

Finally the swing slowed and letting the baby babble at her in rapid speech, Mattie nodded along with the incoherent prattle as she lifted her out. Making her way back to the stroller where it stood by a nearby bench, she made sure that Emmy was still bundled nicely before placing her into the seat. Leaning forward, Mattie blew a raspberry onto Emmy's cheek and again the baby laughed, the sound warming Mattie's heart.

Straightening up again, Mattie went to go to grab the handles of the stroller but stopped abruptly.

The man from earlier stood directly in front of her and the vibe she had gotten previously only intensified as she looked at him. He was silent this time but that silence was heavy and caused her stomach to roll. Rampant panic rose inside of her and she instinctively placed herself between him and the baby in the stroller, while also trying to subtly reach for her cell phone in her back pocket.

"Uh-uh-uh." The man finally spoke, his voice terrifyingly calm, wagging his finger at her and causing her to freeze.

Mattie opened her mouth to scream but, before the thought had fully entered her head, the man moved towards her with lightening speed, jabbing a needle into the side of her neck.

A liquid fire started to spread through her limbs, but Mattie found she couldn't cry out even as the pain intensified. Tears streamed down her face, her mouth forming a silent "O" as she sagged to the ground. While the corners of her vision began to blacken as she lay on the harsh frozen ground of the park, Mattie's heart began to pound even faster when she saw the man reach for Emmy. Her entire body paralyzed, Mattie struggled to stay conscious when she heard the confused baby begin to whimper then full out start to cry.

As her heart began to feel like someone was actually reaching into her chest and squeezing it, Mattie instinctively knew that nothing could help her now. So when the baby's cries were unexpectedly cut off into a chilling silence, the prayer Mattie sent up wasn't for herself, but for Emmy.

It was her last thought before the darkness claimed her.


	10. Left With Violated and Broken Homes

**Author's Note: First I want to start off this chapter with an apology. I am so incredibly sorry that it has taken me this long to update this story. I never intended for it to get so far off course, but real life has been kicking me in the behind. However, along with some down time (finally) my muse has graciously decided to come back for a while and I hope to take full advantage while she's here. I have the next few chapters written/planned out and hopefully I'll be able to start updating more regularly. **

**Second I would like to acknowledge those who have been sending me reviews and reminders that there were people who still cared about this story. It means more to me than you will ever know.**

**That being said, I hope you all enjoy the continuing saga of our CarJack family and friends!**  
**~JP**

Family Imperfect  
by Jaclyn Parker

_"All these lives that you've been taking, deep inside, my heart is breaking. Broken homes from separation, don't you know it's violation?"_  
_~Chris Daughtry_

* * *

Carly put the last of her colored pencils away and stood up from the table, arching her back in a deep stretch. Glancing at the clock on the mantle she raised her eyebrows in surprise, noting that she had finished her sketches far earlier than she had anticipated.

The sound of thundering footsteps drew her eyes to the stairs and sure enough, her oldest son appeared at the bottom of them not more than two seconds later.

"And where are you off to in such a hurry?" Carly asked, startling Parker who was already halfway to the doorway, pulling his coat on at the same time.

"Geez, Mom, you scared the sh…heck out of me," Parker said, turning around and giving her an exasperated look.

"Hmm, well, I get scared too when it sounds like my house is about to fall down around my ears," Carly said, crossing her arms across her chest pointedly.

"Oh, sorry, but I was going to talk to you anyway," Parker said, shrugging while trying to look apologetic at the same time. "I wanted to know if I could borrow the car for a bit. I'm meeting Mattie at Java and I'm already gonna be late. Oh and I figured that way I can just bring Emmy home in our car seat rather than Mattie having to drive all the way here."

"Oh well, yeah that's fine. Sage is at Mandy's house and J.J.'s at play practice for another couple of hours so I don't need it." Carly said, gathering up her sketches as she spoke and putting them into the large design folder.

"Cool," Parker said and then shuffled a moment before pressing on. "Hey, you think maybe Mattie could have dinner with us?"

"Parker…" Carly said, blowing out a soft sigh.

"I mean, we're just having spaghetti so it's not like it's a huge inconvenience to put more pasta on to boil, right?" Parker hurriedly said, trying not to sound too eager.

Carly smiled at him and gave a small laugh. "Honey, it's not an inconvenience and Mattie is always welcome…"

"Great, so I can …" Parker said, his eyes lighting up.

"_But_," Carly interrupted him quickly, "I happen to know that Molly is preparing a special dinner for them at home since Lee finally has a night off."

"Oh, right. Hmmm, I think she said something about that actually." Parker said frowning, thinking back to an earlier conversation at school.

"So maybe tomorrow night or sometime over the weekend, okay?" Carly said and tried to suppress a smile at her son's noticeable disappointment. "But for now, I think maybe this quick coffee date will have to hold you over for the next 16 _agonizing_ hours until you see her in school."

"Mom…" Parker whined at her obvious teasing and fought a blush. She just finally laughed at him and winked, before heading towards the kitchen. "Wait, Mom, um, car keys?"

"They're in my purse, on the couch." She said, disappearing through the doorway.

He dug around in the large black handbag for a few moments before shouting over his shoulder, "Where are they, Mom? I can't find them."

"Look harder, Parker. They're in there somewhere," came Carly's exasperated voice from the kitchen.

Parker rolled his eyes before diving back into the oversized purse one more time. Tossing things about inside, he muttered under his breath about his mom walking around with a suitcase instead of a purse.

"Got 'em!" He yelled out triumphantly when his fingers closed over the metal keys and jingling them quickly, he headed for the door.

"Knew you could do it! Dinner's at six, don't be late!"

"Yeah, Mom, don't worry. I don't think it's going to take two hours to drink coffee," He said and laughed at the "smartass" that drifted to his ears from the kitchen.

He was yelling out a goodbye as he opened the front door only to stop short at the sight of Lily with her hand poised to knock on the other side.

"Oh, hi, Parker." She said, smiling at him. "Is your mom around?"

"Uh, yeah. She's…" Parker started to say but didn't have to finish as the woman in question came out of the kitchen.

"Hey, Lily, what are you doing here?" Carly asked, wiping her hands on a dish towel.

"Hey, Carly. Actually, Jack called me and asked me to come over." Lily said, coming inside as Parker shut the door behind her, his own plans momentarily forgotten at Lily's words.

"To come over here? What on earth for?" Carly asked, before smiling at her. "Not that I don't love your company."

Lily laughed and shrugged. "I have no idea. Didn't he call you?"

"I don't know. I, mean, I didn't hear my phone…" Carly trailed off as she pat down her pockets. Frowning she went to her purse and dug out her cell phone from where she had forgotten it earlier. Sure enough there was one voicemail showing on the display. "Well, that's weird. Why didn't he just call the house?"

Entering her password, she activated her voicemail feature.

"You know, I bet he didn't call the house in case Emmy was napping. She's been a bear to get down lately; thinks she'll miss everything." Carly said while she waited to listen to the voicemail, sharing a mother's only smile with Lily.

But Carly's smile quickly faded as Jack's voice filled her ear and Parker took a step closer to her.

"Mom, what's going on?"

"I don't know," Carly said, ending the phone call and holding the phone to her for a moment. "He didn't say over the phone, just that he wants me to come down to the station right away."

"Is it about Aunt Rosanna? Did they find her?" Parker asked and she shook her head.

"Honey, I don't know. Like I said, he didn't say anything more than just to come down to the station."

"Okay, well, let's go." Parker said and she looked at him in surprise.

"What? No, it's fine. I can drop you off at Java. You don't have to go with me."

"Mom, stop. I'll text Mattie and let her know what's going on. Trust me, she'll understand." Parker said, shaking his head. His eyes met hers and she could see the anxiety in them. "I'm worried about Aunt Rosanna too."

"I know you are," Carly reached up a hand and placed it on Parker's cheek gently before turning to Lily.

"You sure you don't mind staying even though Emmy's not here? I mean, Sage is due home in about a half hour from her friend's place but she could always go to the neighbor's house. And J.J. is getting dropped off after play practice around five-thirty but…" Carly started to ramble even as Parker was helping her into her coat and she reached for her purse.

"Carly, it's fine. Holden has things under control at home with our kids and, if worst comes to worst, you need to stay there for a while then Sage and J.J. can come with me and eat dinner with us." Lily said, holding up a hand to ward off any further worries. "Just go."

"Thank you!" Carly said and Lily came over to hug her friend.

"Don't mention it. I hope it's good news," Lily said and Carly smiled nervously.

"Me too."

"Mom, come on." Parker said, shifting impatiently as he put his cell phone back into his pocket after texting Mattie the latest development.

Within twenty minutes the two of them were walking through the glass doors of the Oakdale Police Station and into what seemed to be pure chaos. Officers were rushing around, some shouting and other merely trying to get where they were going with purpose.

However, the instant Carly and Parker walked in it seemed as though everything stood still, like they were all frozen for a nanosecond in time, before resuming its bustling activity.

Carly started scanning the room for Jack, but wound up noticing how every so often an officer's eyes would flick to her and then away again immediately. Her stomach rolled with a sense of unease that she couldn't pin down but the sound of her name being called by her husband had her refocusing again.

"Dad, what's going on? Parker said, answering for Carly. He looked around while frowning. "What's wrong?"

Parker had also caught the strange vibe that was in the room, as well as the inconspicuous glances their way ever since they had walked in. Jack's eyes met his son's and what Parker saw there made his blood ran cold.

"Dad?" Parker whispered and Jack shook his head.

"Come on," Jack said and without another word led them into the interview room directly behind his desk. As he drew the curtains, Jack forced himself to take a deep breath and steady his nerves.

"Jack, please. You're scaring me," Carly's soft voice drifted to him and it was very nearly his undoing as he forced himself to turn around to face them.

"Something happened today…about an hour ago actually." Jack said, running a hand through his hair as he tried to figure out how to tell them what was going on. He hadn't counted on his oldest son coming with Carly and could barely meet Parker's worried gaze as he spit out what he needed to. "A couple of joggers found Mattie, unconscious, in the park by the playground."

"Oh, God, no." Carly said, placing a hand out to touch Parker's arm and the other to cover her mouth.

"An ambulance was called and from what I could find out, it was a few minutes before they could even determine a pulse. Apparently they did find a very weak one and she was taken to Memorial straight away. The last I heard she was still in the ER, alive but unresponsive." Jack said, stating all the information he had before his son could hurl questions at him.

But he needn't have worried since Carly's question eliminated anything else Parker might have thought to ask about Mattie at the moment.

"Jack…where's Emmy?"

The soft words echoed in the closed interview room as if a shot had been fired.

A myriad of emotions flickered across Jack's face as he struggled to pull in a breath to answer. He gently but firmly led Carly to one of the chairs at the table and made her sit.

"We don't…" Jack's voice cracked and he tried again. "We don't know, Carly. The stroller was empty and the diaper bag was gone…and so was Emmy."

"Gone? What do you mean gone, Jack?" Carly asked. A buzzing noise started softly in her ears and her vision feathered in around the edges slightly. "Where's our daughter? Jack, answer me! Where is my baby?"

"Carly, the EMTs said that by the amount of degrees that Mattie's body temperature had dropped she was only lying there for about twenty minutes before the joggers found her. When the police got there they had the park sectioned off and then combed the nearby areas." Jack spoke fast as if trying to get it all out before losing it himself. "There was no sign of Emmy or the person who took her. We've set up roadblocks all over Oakdale and notified the neighboring counties with Amber Alerts."

"Jack…" Carly's words caught in her throat as she thought about what he had just said. The image of her beautiful eight month old daughter smiling at her flashed before her eyes and then rapidly changed into one of Emmy screaming and crying out for Carly to hold her; to rescue her. "Oh, God, I can't…I can't breathe, Jack. Why would he take her? She just a baby! She's just…she _our_ baby! She means _nothing _to him!"

"I don't know, Baby. I don't know." Jack ran his hands through Carly's sleek golden hair and fought the rising anger towards James Stenbeck. There was no solid proof that he was behind this but there wasn't a doubt in Jack's mind that he was. However, now was not the time for thoughts of hate. "It's okay. Everything's going to be okay."

"No, it's not. It's not okay, Jack. He took her. That _monster_ took our little girl." Carly protested, shaking her head vehemently.

As she did, Jack's fingers got tangled in her hair and pulled slightly. She ignored it since that twinge of momentary pain was nothing compared to the gaping hole that was starting to tear in her soul. With a tired and heartbreaking sigh, Jack placed his head in her lap and began muttering an apology. At his unfounded request for forgiveness Carly looked down at him for a moment before taking his face in her hands and making him look up at her.

"This is not your fault, G-man. This is no one's fault except that madman's. Do you understand me?" Carly said, her voice powerful and crystal clear. Her blue eyes blazed with a fire that Jack hadn't seen in a long time and he wished that it hadn't been put there by this situation. "But you swear…you swear to God, that you'll find our baby."

"I swear to _you_, Carly, that I will bring our daughter home safe." Jack said and it was as if that was all Carly needed to hear before she let herself fall apart.

Clawing at his shoulders to pull him towards her, she leaned down so that her forehead touched his. Her shoulders began shaking and he stood, pulling her to her feet but only until he could settle onto the chair and lower her into his lap. She wrapped her arms around him and buried her face into his neck. Hot tears flowed into his maroon shirt's collar making the material dark enough to look black. Jack held her to him tightly and pressed his own face into her shoulder, letting the tears he had held back until now flow freely.

Parker had watched the scene unfold in front of him in silence, hesitant to intrude on his parent's grief. But now he walked over to where they sat together and knelt by their side. He leaned his forehead against his dad's strong forearm and was immediately granted reassurance by that same arm winding around his shoulder and hugging him close. Even as her own tears continued to stream down her face, Carly's fingers found their way to weave a comforting rhythm into Parker's hair. The teen closed his eyes to soak up the comfort that the two broken-hearted adults before him so selflessly attempted to give.

The sound of the interview room door opening softly caused all three of them to break from their family huddle and turn to see Margo in the doorway.

"I'm sorry," Margo said, the words obviously meaning more than just interrupting them. After another moment, she continued with the reason for her disruption. "Jack, I'm sending Dallas and Officer Tyler over to Memorial to check on Mattie Reynolds. We can't get any clear information over the phone."

Immediately, Parker sat up straight.

"I have to go…" Parker started to say but trailed off when words failed him. The obvious conflict of feeling like he should stay with his parents and wanting to be at the hospital painted all over his face.

"Go, Parker, it's okay. I've got your mom." Jack said, desperately trying to rein in his emotions as he held a now silent but shaking Carly in his arms.

"But…" Parker said, his eyes raking over his mom in anguish. Jack only nodded and Parker sighed.

"Come on, Parker. You can go over with Dallas and Adam. But you have to leave now." Margo said calmly and he turned to her when she placed a hand on his shoulder. He nodded to her and then hurriedly walked over to kiss Carly's cheek.

"I love you, Mom," Parker said. "Emmy's gonna be okay, you'll see. Dad will find her. You know that he always keeps his promises."

Carly untangled herself from Jack's embrace in order to stand and wrap her arms around their son's shoulders. Even at this moment, one of the darkest in her life, her heart was still warmed to see the pure hero adoration for Jack that Parker never really grew out of.

"I know," Carly whispered, her voice rough from crying but strong. "I love you too, Sweetie. Call me when you know anything and tell Molly and Lee that I love them. I'll come over to the hospital as soon as I can."

"I will," Parker said and after another quick hug from Jack, he followed Margo out into the bullpen.

"Come on, we need to go home and…" Jack said softly but trailed off, knowing that she understood what was coming next.

Carly turned to face Jack, crossing her arms around her stomach to hug herself. Jack immediately stepped forward and wrapped his arms around her and held her close. She laid her cheek onto his chest and listened to his heartbeat for a moment, gathering the strength to go home and tell J.J. and Sage what was going on.

Their moment of asylum was broken by a loud crashing noise from the bullpen followed by the angry shout, "You son of a bitch!"

Recognizing Parker's voice, Jack and Carly broke apart and rushed into the main room only to stop short at the sight of Parker being restrained by two officers. Craig Montgomery stood a few feet away, holding a hand to his bleeding mouth and wearing a shocked and angry look on his face.

"What the hell is going on?" Jack asked incredulously.

Parker didn't even acknowledge his dad's presence and continued his rant.

"You seriously think the goddamn world revolves around you, don't you Craig? Did it ever occur to you that there might not be someone at their desk because they were doing something more important than listening to your stupid ass?" Parker struggled against Dallas Griffin and Adam Tyler, his frustration and panic for Mattie and Emmy boiling over at this new target. "Huh, Craig? I mean, what did you do this time? Run someone else off the road and put them in a coma like you did to Aunt Rosanna?"

"Parker, that's enough!" Carly jumped in front of Parker and placed her hands on either side of his face. Looking into her seething son's pain filled eyes, she repeated herself tenderly but firmly, "That's enough."

The fight suddenly seemed to drain out of Parker and his shoulders slumped. He nodded his head in resignation and Carly gave Dallas a pointed look. Nodding back to her, the young African American detective and family friend, clasped his hand on Parker's shoulder. Murmuring words of support to him under his breath, Dallas led him towards the Oakdale PD's main doors. Adam Tyler looked around at the charged bullpen and exchanged some brief words with Margo before following them out to head to Memorial.

"That kid of yours has lost his mind!" Craig said, his eyes swinging from Carly to Jack as he checked the back of his hand to see if the blood flow from his busted lip had stopped.

"Craig," Jack growled at him and closed his eyes when Carly placed a restraining hand on his arm. "Now is definitely not the time."

"Look, Jack, I didn't start this; Parker did! All I did was come in here for help!" Craig said and as if uttering those words had jogged his memory he paled. "Johnny…Johnny's missing."

At those words Jack's eyes flew open and he stared at Craig in shock. "What?"

"He and Erica, his nanny, were supposed to be back from a birthday party two hours ago. What I want to know is what do I do now? Do I file a missing person's report? I mean, you know what Johnny looks like but Erica is 28 with blonde hair and green eyes. She's about five and a half feet, weighs maybe 140 pounds but I'm bad at that kind of thing so I'm not really sure…" Craig started to ramble and Margo frowned.

"Whoa, Craig, slow down a second. What makes you think they're missing? Did you call her cell phone? Maybe she just…"

"Of course, I called her cell phone, Margo! It goes right to voicemail. I even called the mother of the little boy whose party they were at. Erica left with Johnny right after they had cake which is perfect because it was time for his nap!" Craig said, the panic he felt earlier starting to seep into his voice. "Johnny has a very consistent schedule and Erica has been his nanny for months now. She has never made a mistake or missed a check-in with me. _Never_. Plus I'm his father! I know that something is wrong!"

Craig paused to run a frustrated hand through his hair and motioned outward at the bullpen desks.

"Come on, Margo! I just told you that your nephew is missing and you are standing there like a damn statue! Do something!"

"Craig…" Margo straightened up and glared at her brother but a young woman's voice interrupted before she say anything more.

"Chief Hughes, I think…I think, I found the nanny."

All eyes turned to a young female of Hispanic ethnicity standing at attention a few feet away. Her dark brown eyes darted from person to person before settling on her boss.

"When Mr. Montgomery was talking earlier, something about his description sounded familiar. So I logged onto the computer and started searching through today's reports."

"For the love of God, spit it out!" Craig snarled at her and Margo whirled a death glare at him.

"Shut the hell up, Craig." Margo said and turned back to the now wide eyed officer. "Go ahead, Isabel."

Cadet Isabel Hernandez swallowed quickly before continuing. "We got a report around 3 o'clock today about a Jane Doe matching that description that was found near a local bar. She was found in the nearby alley and the preliminary toxicology report says she had no alcohol in her system. Which makes sense since the bar wasn't even open for business yet. The weird part that made me remember was that she had all her belongings on her except for her wallet and that...well, her fingerprints were burned off with some sort of chemical."

"That makes sense if he wanted to have enough time to get away before she was identified." Margo said, frowning in thought.

"What bar?" Carly asked and all eyes turned to her. She ignored them and repeated her question fervently. "What bar was she found near?"

Comprehension dawned on all of their faces at the same time before their eyes all swung back to Isabel for the answer.

"Um, I believe it was…Metro Club." Isabel said and then added in soft amazement, as if not being able to help herself. "Your bar, Mrs. Snyder."

Jack and Margo exchanged a glance which, unfortunately, did not go unnoticed by Craig.

"What? What the hell is going on? Why would that mean anything to you?" He asked angrily.

Jack sighed and instinctively reached out to draw Carly closer to him as he spoke. "Mattie Reynolds was attacked in the park today and left for dead. She was in the park watching Emmy and now…our daughter is missing."

"I'm sorry. I didn't know." Craig said, his voice becoming oddly quiet and sincere. "Is Mattie okay?"

"She's in the ER which is where Parker was going when you came in." Margo said and Craig nodded, pressing his fingers to his sore lip and understanding now.

"Your daughter was kidnapped and Johnny was taken…" Craig frowned and tilted his head in thought "You think that the same person took both kids?"

"So far it looks like they were taken within minutes of each other and both people in charge of them were left for dead. So while it obviously wasn't the same perp, it might have been the same mastermind." Jack said and despite the situation sent up a silent prayer than Mattie was luckier than poor Erica.

Craig was silent for another moment but then seemed to put the pieces together. "With everything going on right now; Cabot appearing out of nowhere, Rosanna being taken, and that explosion the other day, I've heard the rumors. Do you really think that James Stenbeck did this too? Kidnapped our kids?"

"We don't know Craig, but my gut…my gut is telling me yeah." Jack answered.

"But why? Why the hell would he want our kids? Or Rosanna, for that matter?" Craig asked, completely confused as to motive.

"I don't know, Craig! Maybe because Johnny is Paul's nephew and Barbara's grandson? Maybe because he knows that by taking our daughter and Carly's sister that it might paralyze us from finding him? Maybe because he's just plain crazy!" Jack said, his voice rising with each suggestion. "Who the hell ever knows why James Stenbeck does anything?"

Craig nodded, finding nothing else to say to that; certainly having no good answer to that last question. He looked at Carly and taking in her pale complexion and barely concealed distress, Craig gave her a small smile.

"If they are together like your brilliant detective husband has deduced than don't worry, Carly. Johnny will watch out for Emmy. He's really good with little kids, especially babies. You'll see; they'll be fine."

Carly just stared at Craig as he uttered those trite repetitive words that seemed to tumble out of everyone's mouth so far today. Finding herself unable to reply, she just sighed and turned her face into Jack's chest and inhaled deeply. She knew that she was barely holding on by a thread and her true north's strong presence was the only thing keeping her from going over the edge of insanity.

Holding Carly close to him and pressing a tender kiss to her hair, Jack sighed. Lifting his eyes Jack's gaze met Craig's eyes and the two silently exchanged a communication of mutual understanding; something that once upon a time they would have never thought possible. But at that moment in time the two men were no longer rivals; they were merely two terrified and angry fathers who wanted their children back in their arms.


	11. A Future of Responsibilities

Family Imperfect  
by Jaclyn Parker

_"We are made wise not by the recollection of our past, but by the responsibility for our future."  
~George Bernard Shaw_

* * *

Rosanna stirred at an oddly familiar noise reaching her ears, but the residual traces of the drugs in her system had her questioning her hearing. But a moment later the sound came again, unmistakable, and she forced her body to respond to her commands.

She struggled to sit up, immediately feeling the now familiar weight of the shackle and chain secured around her left ankle that pulled on her leg. It had been a shock, to say the least, when she had woken up like this the first time. She calculated that to be just shy of three weeks ago. Or maybe it had been more; with no clocks or windows, there was no way of knowing time in her place of captivity.

Standing, Rosanna swayed a moment but her equilibrium came back to her faster than she would have assumed. She wasn't sure if it meant her body was becoming accustomed to the drugs he was giving her or if he had given her less this time around.

Still she was cautious and stood still while what's left of the cobwebs in her mind cleared away. As she did, she let her eyes do their usual adjusting to the dimly lit bedroom she was held in. When her gaze fell upon the attached bathroom, separated by a barely frosted glass door, she contemplated using its services. She frowned and ultimately decided against it. She only liked to use it if she knew for a fact that he wasn't around.

As usual, her gaze strayed to the door on her right that she assumed led to yet another room. She knew that whatever it was, was connected to hers since she had heard him shuffling around in there for hours on end but she had never seen it. He never unlocked it or came into her room via that door; only the one that was directly in front of her bed. And the times he did that were bad enough…

Feeling her stomach roll at where her mind was heading she made herself focus again on the noise that had originally disturbed her. Sure enough it came again, only louder and more upsetting than the first time. However, before Rosanna could even cross the five steps it took to get from her bed to the door, it opened up to reveal a figure in the doorway.

The infant's crying no longer sounded as dulled as it had when she heard it through the solid oak bedroom door and Rosanna felt her heart break at the obvious distress the baby was in.

_He_ didn't even acknowledge the noise as he swept his eyes over her form.

"You're awake…finally." He said, smiling at her in a way that made the prior bout of nausea return and forced her to ward off becoming violently ill right then and there.

"Yes. I, um, I'm sorry I slept so long. I…didn't mean to." Rosanna said, docilely. It was hard, though, not to spout off her initial impulse of a sarcastic response about him having drugged her in the first place.

"It's okay." He said, brushing his fingers over the thick strand of pearls that she wore along her collarbone. "You need your sleep, especially now."

He had given her the necklace last night to match the one of the thin cotton 1950s style dresses that he had forced her to wear. He had made her change into a new one every day since that very first time she had awakened to find herself in this madman's warped "Ozzie and Harriet" fantasy. Him placing the pearls around her neck was the last thing she remembered before her head got that fuzzy feeling and she had slipped into the now familiar drug induced darkness.

She tried to curb the violent shudder that would no doubt reveal her revulsion. Thankfully another loud shrill cry from the other room diverted his attention from her for a moment, allowing her to compose herself again.

When he turned back, he could see the confusion written all over her face.

"It seems our new daughter agrees with me." He said, laughing a little even as the words made Rosanna's blood run cold.

"Our…_what_? What the hell are you talking about? What did you do?" Rosanna couldn't help the accusation in her voice at his shocking statement and instantly froze at the narrowing of his eyes.

"What is necessary for our perfect little family to be complete." He growled out and she knew that she needed to rectify her error immediately. The fact that the baby in the other room was now coughing and gasping in between sobs, signaling a descent into hyperventilation, only served to heighten her urgency.

"Well, it seems as though I should go tend to our…our daughter then, right? Rosanna said, but he didn't move and his face didn't change. At another tiny strangled sob, Rosanna felt a panic start to build up. "Please J…please, Darling."

It was an intense moment as she watched his face carefully for his mood. She had nearly ruined it again by saying his name as opposed to one of the sappy endearments he had carefully instructed her to call him. The second the almost slip had happened she had felt him tense up and her entire body wanted to recoil from him in anticipation of his response. Even now, Rosanna felt her fingers itch to touch the still swollen bruise on her cheekbone from the first, and _only _time, she had made the mistake of addressing him by his real name.

She had heard enough horror stories about the Stenbeck mental warfare that went on, and lived through a couple of her own, but up until then she had never heard of it being physical violence. She wasn't sure what had changed to make him lash out physically, other than the obvious, but the residual memory of the firey pain that came when his knuckles connected with her cheek prevented her from being brave enough to ask.

As if sensing her thoughts, his hand came up again to brush his knuckles against the painful discoloration, gently but with enough deliberate force to cause her to wince. Then, as if a switch had been flipped, he dropped his hand and beamed brightly at her.

"Go ahead, Sweetheart. I'm going to do our daily room check while you get acquainted. Give the angel a kiss from me." He said, eerily cheerful as he bent down.

Rosanna tried hard to curb her anxiousness as she felt him unlock the shackle around her ankle. As soon as she was released she forced herself to walk calmly around him and into the living room area towards the sounds of the hysterical crying. She couldn't help but stop short at the sight before her when she got there.

Curled up on the couch, completely unconscious, was a small red-haired little boy dressed in a plain white shirt and jeans. A baby, wearing an impossibly frilly pink dress, was screaming her head off in a car seat about two feet from him.

Her pause lasted only a nano-second more before the inherent maternal side of her took over and she rushed to unstrap the child from her confines. Lifting her into her arms, Rosanna began to instinctively sway back and forth, murmuring soothing words to her. The baby's body went rigid and she arched away from Rosanna, screaming louder than before if that was at all possible. Instead of being frustrated, Rosanna felt her heart break all over again. How could she feel anything but compassion for this tiny being? She probably wanted nothing and no one but her mother to comfort her and all she got was a stranger.

"She's not exactly who I had in mind to bring to you, but I have to admit…she is beautiful."

His deep voice barely carried over the angry infant's cries but her eyes flew to his face as the implications of his words sunk in.

"And…the little boy?" Rosanna fought hard to keep the panic out of her voice as she asked.

"Our little Emma is going to grow to be a perfect Stenbeck heiress and she'll need a nice strong big brother to watch out for her." He said as if it made perfect sense. He tilted his head and said thoughtfully, almost to himself, "Hopefully she'll have two before I am finished here."

Although her crying hadn't diminished, the baby had stopped fighting Rosanna's embrace. The terrified woman held the sobbing child closer to her while taking a small step back from the deranged man in front of them.

However the constant wailing seemed to be getting to him because his facial expression flashed annoyance and anger before smoothing out into an jarringly calm façade once again.

"I have things to attend to, Dear, so I'm going to leave you for a while. But don't worry…I'll be back." His words were jovial but the undertone left no question as to the sincerity of his statement. "Until then, please don't forget that I am _always_ watching."

He gestured to the small cameras that were placed in every corner of the living room. She didn't look where he pointed; there was no need. The same type of surveillance monitored her every move in the small underground shelter turned apartment from hell, even in her bedroom. In fact she assumed that the only place he did not have them was the bathroom but, then again, she wasn't entirely sure he didn't have them there too.

"There is food and formula in the kitchenette for when you and our children get hungry. I know this is the first time I'm leaving you with access to our kitchen, but I think a certain degree of trust is needed once children are brought into a family. Although, you should know that there are no smoke detectors just in case you are thinking of trying to alert anyone to your presence here. So please be careful, Darling. We wouldn't want something to happen to our little angels because their mommy was careless, now would we?"

Instinctively Rosanna sat on the sofa by the little boy's legs, hovering a protective hand over his back as if to shield him from the barely concealed threat. She was afraid she would be sick if she opened her mouth to speak so she just shook her head in the negative.

"Good." He said and, pivoting on his heel, started his way up the stairs. She knew that they led to the only escape; a large cement door she sometimes dreamed about at night. He stopped mid-way up and without turning around spoke over his shoulder. "I love you, Sweetheart."

Forcing the bile down in her throat she answered as she had been taught.

"I love…I love you too, Dear."

Satisfied, he kept going and a thin ray of dimming sunlight that crept in with his departure. The sight caused an ache so deep inside of her that Rosanna forced herself to close her eyes and pretend she hadn't seen it at all.

A hiccup and quiet sob from the baby girl in her arms, apparently named Emma, drew her attention back to the situation at hand. Bouncing her slightly, Rosanna focused her attention on placing a finger on the little boy's neck in search of a pulse.

She found one immediately, nice and strong, allowing her to relax slightly. To her further relief the child actually began to stir at her touch. His eyelashes fluttered open and then closed again, followed by a whimper escaping his mouth.

"Shhhh, it's okay, Sweetie. You're okay." Rosanna said, thankful that Emma was finally quieting down. She knew, however, that it was mainly exhaustion versus anything that she had done.

The little boy's eyes fluttered again and finally opened. He turned his face from the back of the couch to meet hers with a confused expression.

"Where's my Daddy?" He said, a whimper slipping out again along with the start of a few tears.

"I don't know, honey, I'm sorry." Rosanna replied, apologetically.

"Who you?" He said, his speech reverting to that of a child a few years younger in his fright and confusion. Sticking the end of his right index finger in his mouth, he eyed her and then frowned. "You an angel?"

"No, I'm not an angel. My name is Rosanna." She said and his finger slipped out of his mouth as he struggled to sit up.

"I wanna go home. I want my Daddy!"

"I know you do, Sweetie, I know." Rosanna tried to sooth him, while still bouncing a still quietly crying Emma on her lap. "Can you tell me your name?"

"J…Johnny." He said, as his own tears welling up in his eyes and threatening to fall. Even as he said it, Rosanna was already nodding her head.

"Yes, that makes sense." She said, having already made the mental guess prior to having his confirmation. Johnny gave her an odd look before suddenly pointing to the crying baby in her lap, his own tears momentarily forgotten.

"Why do you have Emmy?"

Rosanna looked at him in surprise. "You know this baby?"

"Uh huh. That's Uncle Parker's baby sister. He takes me to play with Ethan on the farm and sometimes Emmy comes too. She likes me better than Ethan though cause he doesn't play with her like me." Johnny said and promptly made a funny face as if to prove his point. He got no reaction from the baby other than a wide eyed stare, but the woman sitting next to him couldn't stop his words from running through her head at lightening speed.

"Uncle Parker…the farm…" Rosanna murmured and then the baby's name that had been so causally tossed her way came back to her. Raising the infant up swiftly to place her directly in Rosanna's line of sight, she found herself staring in a pair of startled but beautiful blue eyes.

Her sister's eyes.

"Oh no…oh, please no!" Rosanna said, the pain in her voice making even little Johnny shift closer to her to provide comfort. "Oh God, what has he done?"

Rosanna knew now, without a doubt, that she held her own niece in her arms and that the child she had called her own for so brief a time was sitting next to her. This mental confirmation of who the abducted children were, was the straw that broke the camel's back. Releasing a sob, she brought the baby into her chest and held on tight. She closed her eyes, rocking back and forth. Her voice cracked in anguish as she continually murmured pleas up to a seemingly unsympathetic God.

While, as a human being, she empathized with what Craig was probably feeling right now, in truth it was the notion of how much pain that her beloved sister was going through that truly tore at her heart.

What seemed like hours passed but was in reality probably only a few moments and it was interrupted by the sound a small additional sob. Rosanna opened her eyes to see that the sound wasn't coming from Emmy. Emotionally and physically worn out, the baby had cried herself to sleep, tears glistening on her sweet little eyelashes. Rosanna looked at Johnny who was now huddled up with his arms wrapped around his knees, obviously trying to disappear from this horrific nightmare.

Rosanna half-rose to put Emmy down in the carrier so that she could comfort Johnny exclusively, when she felt a tiny hand dart out and grip her dress.

"No! Please don't leave me!"

Rosanna looked down into the small terrified freckled face and instantly sat down again.

"Shhhh, it's okay. I'm not going anywhere, Honey. I promise."

Shifting Emmy to lay on her shoulder she pulled Johnny to her side with one arm. The frightened little boy went willingly, clutching at her like she was his lifeline. Her eyes fell to the sleeping baby whose pudgy little hands, in her slumber, had also laid claim to Rosanna with a forceful grip.

In that moment Rosanna knew that she could no longer focus on herself. She needed to be strong for the sake of these two innocent lives. As she felt Johnny relax into her side and let out a shaky breath, she pressed a kiss to the top of his red hair.

_I will get you two out of here if it's the last thing I do. _Rosanna thought, shifting the sleeping baby higher onto her shoulder and hugging Johnny closer.

She refused to acknowledge the small nagging voice in the back of her mind that spoke of the one horrifyingly true fact when it came to the deranged man who was playing this game with their lives:

The idea of trying to get help or escape from this prison as being the last thing she ever did, wasn't so off the mark.


	12. Sending Up A Wordless Prayer

**A/N: So, I'm not particularly happy with how this chapter turned out, depsite all of the revisions I did. It is a smaller chapter in view of the larger story but there is a very important part in it that meant a lot to me to get out there.**

I also want to warn you all that this story is going to be much darker than True North was but I hope that you all stick with it (even when you want to kill me). Also remember that I am a CarJack lover through and through and would never give them more than I think they would be able to handle in real life (which doesn't really make sense but you all know what I mean! LOL)

**Anyways...as always...en****joy!**  
**~JP**

Family Imperfect  
by Jaclyn Parker

_God understands our prayers even when we can't find the words to say them.  
~Author Unknown  
_************************************************************************

The constant beep of the monitors in front of her reminded Molly of a group of electronic metronomes. She was caught of guard by the comparison since she had never learned to play the piano and therefore never needed to use the little pace keeping device. Even still she would have sworn on a stack of bibles that there was a collective rhythm being played by all the machines keeping Mattie alive in the small ICU room. Molly wondered if the ever growing exhaustion that she had been pushing away for the past few days was starting to manifest itself through a musical delirium.

A sudden spike on Mattie's heart monitor was answered by another blip on the one keeping watch over her brain wave activity and Molly sat up straight to stare at them intently. After a moment, she forced herself to relax again into the barely comfortable arm chair that she had pulled up beside the hospital bed. Molly knew she should have ignored it just like all the others but she couldn't help the hope that crept into her heart every time it happened. All of the doctors, including her distraught husband, had warned her that because Mattie was not brain dead but in what amounted to a hyper sleep there would be various amounts of activity but none of them were viable at this point. They had managed to save her from coding in the emergency room but that had been nothing short of a miracle. However it appeared that the miracle wouldn't last long.

Lee been the one to tell her the news this morning; they were beginning to see signs that whatever drug Mattie had been injected with was slowly destroying her organs. In another week, she would need to be placed on dialysis for her kidneys and liver. A week after that, possibly sooner, her lungs would no longer be functional requiring a machine to help her breathe, which they had luckily been able to avoid so far. The scariest prospect was one that Molly refused to even think about or else she would go insane. Without an anti-dote or at least some clue as to what the hell was in her system, there was the possibility that Mattie's heart could start to fail at any moment without warning.

Bottom line was that they were running out of time.

With a sigh Molly took Mattie's warm hand in her own and smiled softly, as she reached out to tuck a piece of hair behind the girl's ear. Molly moved her thumb to the underside and slightly lower she found the pulse point on Mattie's wrist. She was comforted by the steady flow of blood that she could clearly feel underneath the delicate skin. It was enough to make Molly wish again that the girl would just open her green eyes and squeeze her hand back.

Following the surprise engagement in the courtroom last summer, the two females had started to get to know each other better. Molly knew that having been pretty much deprived of a constant female presence in her life that it wasn't going to be easy for Mattie to accept her around all the time no matter how much they had gotten along before. It was quickly obvious that Mattie was unaccustomed to the motherly affection that Molly readily bestowed upon her and there had been some tense moments followed by profuse apologies. Finally the girl had confided to Carly that while she loved Molly and wanted her around, she was afraid that Lee would feel replaced. After Carly had hinted to the girl's fears without truly betraying her confidence Lee had gone out of his way to make sure that she knew he encouraged her and Molly's growing relationship.

After that it did not take long for the teen to begin returning the loving gestures as frequently as they were given. Then after the marriage and the adoption, Molly had noticed that with that status of permanence came an attitude that was much more relaxed. While other seventeen year old girls were trying desperately to spend less time with their mothers, Mattie eagerly initiated shopping trips and girl's nights out, which also tended to include Carly and even Lily, Faith, and J.J.'s girlfriend Becca, on occasion. Molly knew that she would never be able to take the place of Mattie's biological mother but she was determined to make sure that the girl knew that she loved her like she was her own and that she wasn't going anywhere.

This is why she hadn't left the small private ICU room in the four days that Mattie had been there.

"Hey, Sweetie."

Molly turned to look over her shoulder at her cousin who had silently slipped into the room and was making her way over to her.

"Hey Cuz," Molly replied, accepting the tender kiss Carly placed on the top of her head.

"Any change?" Carly asked. She gently ran her fingers through Molly's ever growing brunette locks and Molly closed her eyes while leaning into the comforting touch.

"No," Molly said and forced the tears that threatened to form behind her closed eyelids to retreat. Opening them again she turned to look up at Carly with a hopeful face. "Any word on…"

Molly didn't finish her sentence before Carly was shaking her head, her hand stilling in Molly's hair.

"He'll find her, Carly." Molly said, not need to clarify who she meant by "he". "He'll find them all."

Carly just nodded, the pain inside of her too much to put into words but written clearly on her face.

After a moment to compose herself Carly gingerly sat on the end of Mattie's bed, placing her hand on the girl's leg while making sure her other hand stayed on Molly's shoulder.

"Did you tell her the good news?" Carly asked, nodding her head in Mattie's direction with a small smile on her face.

"That she's going to be a big sister? Yeah." Molly said, her own left hand coming to rest gently on her stomach. "She was thrilled. I could tell."

Carly had been the second person to find out, after Lee of course, and she knew that they had been planning to tell Mattie that fateful day. It had been why she had told Parker she couldn't join them at dinner.

"Have you seen the doctor?" Carly asked, her worried eyes drifting from the girl in the bed to her beloved cousin.

Molly shook her head, "I can't leave her. What if she wakes up and I'm not here? Lee still has to work and I know you've been visiting but you have to be home in case they find something. I can't…I can't leave her here alone."

"Cuz, it's a twenty minute checkup. I'll stay here with here if you want." Carly frowned at her. "I'm sure Dr. Schiller can fit you in for an emergency appointment. You have to keep yourself…"

"I'm fine," Molly interrupted brusquely. She tossed her dark hair back and shot Carly a look clearly stating that she was through with this topic.

Carly didn't say anything more but she frowned even harder forcing Molly to look away. Molly decided to change the subject and turned back to Mattie, lifting the girl's hand to hold it against her cheek.

"If you're looking for your son I sent him and Lee to get something to eat before I force fed them hospital food."

Carly took the hint and shook her head, "I wasn't but you're right I should probably make sure he did eat."

Parker had been at the hospital every day since he had arrived with Dallas and Adam Tyler and he hadn't been away from Mattie for more than a couple hours at a time. He wouldn't go to school and since he wasn't immediate family he had to come home to sleep. But the moment morning came again he was gone with the first sign of sunlight and no amount of persuading (or half-hearted threatening from his parents) had made him change his mind.

"See you soon, Sweetie," Carly said to Mattie, leaning over to kiss her forehead. She turned to Molly and with tears in her eyes whispered, "I love you."

"Oh Cuz, I love you too." Molly said, standing to hug her. "So much."

The two of them held onto each other for a long moment before Carly pulled away and hurriedly slipped out of the room before she lost all composure. She wasn't looking where she was going and slammed into a large chest, bouncing off slightly. Looking up to apologize she found herself staring into the tired green eyes of Lee.

"Hey, Kiddo." Lee said, his voice raspy and weary. She didn't say anything but wrapped her arms around his waist and hugged him tightly. He smiled and hugged her back, before pulling away to shake himself off. "How's my wife?"

"Tired. Worried. Brave." Carly said and Lee nodded proudly.

"Yeah, she is." He agreed and ran a hand through his mussed up brown hair. "I brought her something to eat because she refuses to even go to the cafeteria."

He held up a wrapped sandwich and a bottle of apple juice as if he needed proof.

"Good, she needs to take care of herself." Carly said and patted his arm.

"And you? Are you taking care of yourself?" Lee asked, looking at her with a critical eye.

It was obvious that she wasn't sleeping well, if at all, by the large dark circles under her eyes. She had tried to cover it with makeup but he knew her and knew that it was an effort to show her loved ones that she was coping more than it was about vanity. Her hair was up in a clip and in it's naturally curly state as if she had thrown it up last minute without thinking about it. While she never really had any extra weight to lose in the first place, the last week especially had taken its toll and he could tell that her usual well fitting clothes hung semi-loosely on her normally curvaceous body. But the worst was the haunted worried look in her baby blue eyes that appeared when she thought no one was looking.

"I'm fine," Carly told him while mentally ignoring the fact that it was the same bullshit line that Molly had handed her a few moments ago. "In fact, I was looking for my son. I was told he was with you."

Lee looked like he wanted to argue her state of well being but knew that it was a battle he wasn't alert enough to truly fight. Instead he nodded and jerked his head back towards where he had come from.

"He practically fell asleep in his cheesesteak and I made him go catch a short nap in the doctor's lounge. I told him I would come get him in an hour. It's not nearly long enough but at least it's something."

Carly gave him a grateful look, knowing that she and Jack weren't the only one wandering the house at night like worried zombies. Parker, who had always been an empathetic soul, was taking everything that was happening very hard.

"Well, you go in and feed your wife and I'm going to go check on him." Carly said, leaning up on her tiptoes to kiss Lee's cheek goodbye before shooing him into Mattie's room.

A few minutes later Carly didn't know why but she found herself quite lost. It was hard for her to understand how since she pretty much knew the hospital layout by heart but sure enough she soon realized that she was at the opposite end of where the doctor's lounge was located. In fact, she was standing in front the one place she had always avoided in the hospital, no matter which time she was there.

Carly stared at the small stained glass window panel in the door and the sign above it that said "Chapel" in bold black letters. One part of her wanted to go in but a larger, angrier part wanted to find the heaviest thing she could lift and throw it at that glass window. She started to back away to turn and go find her sleeping son when a voice came out of nowhere.

"Aren't you going in, my dear?"

Carly jumped slightly and looked to her left to see Nancy Hughes standing by her side. She vaguely wondered where she came from since she hadn't heard her approach but brushed it off.

"I'm afraid that I might get struck my lightning or something if I go in there feeling the way I feel right now." Carly said, only semi-joking.

"Carly, do you think you are the only one who has ever gone through those doors angry at God?" Nancy asked with an arched eyebrow. When Carly looked at her in mild surprise, the older woman smiled up at her knowingly. "How about some company?"

Nancy held out her hand and Carly hesitated only a moment before taking it. She wasn't particularly close to the older woman but there was something about her presence that had her finding a sense of comfort she rarely felt. They entered the chapel and settled into the first pew. Carly watched Nancy walk up to light a few of the candles on the small alter and let out the breath she didn't even realize she had been holding. She might have been joking about the lightening but the underlying degree of feeling uncomfortable inside this place of worship.

Nancy sat down next to her and gently placed her hand on Carly's arm. "How are you, my dear? The truth."

"I'm fi…," Carly started to say but the moment she glanced at Nancy she found she couldn't lie anymore.

For the past week she had been strong; for Jack, for Parker, Sage, and J.J., for Molly and Lee, for Mattie, for those who asked constantly how she was holding up. Sitting there in that small quiet chapel with a woman who looked like she was the embodiment of comfort herself was too much to take.

"I'm tired, Mrs. Hughes. I'm so tired." Carly said, tears welling up in her eyes and her throat tightening. "I spend all day trying to find some way to help my kids get through this and at night, I can't sleep because I worry that if I close my eyes someone else I love will disappear."

"Nancy," the older woman quietly instructed Carly to call her by her first name and when Carly nodded she smiled. Reaching over she tenderly took Carly's hand and stroked it with her thumb, silently urging her to continue to let it all out.

"I hear her, Nancy. I hear my baby crying for me at night and I go into her room to get her but she's not there. She's…she's not there and I don't know where she is. My arms ache to hold her and I'm left with nothing but empty air to take her place." Carly caught herself before she broke down and after a couple deep breaths, she nodded to Nancy that she was okay.

Nancy was silent for a moment before softly inquiring, "What about Jack?"

"Jack…" Carly sighed, a small loving smile slipping out despite her heartache. "He's trying so hard. He is working every minute of every day and the rare times he comes home to sleep, he crashes on the couch so he can be out the door before anyone else is awake. He won't talk to me and I know it's because he is blaming himself but I don't know why. If anything he should be blaming me."

"Why would he do that, Carly?" Nancy asked, genuinely shocked at the amount of guilt she could see riding on this younger woman's shoulders.

"I brought this madman into our lives. My family was the one he seemed to be targeting, when he took Rosanna, and now children…my _baby_ and other innocent children like Johnny…are being brought into this unholy mess."

Mentally apologizing for her last couple of words, despite her lack of faith at the moment, Carly looked up at the ceiling trying to push the rising self-loathing down. She subconsciously noted the lines of the tiles and the thick white caulk that filled the cracks like ghostly white veins.

"Bullshit," Nancy replied.

Carly looked down at her sharply, her eyes wide in surprise at the older woman's harsh curse inside the chapel.

"James Stenbeck has been causing heartache in this town long before you or Jack Snyder ever arrived." Nancy said, her voice calm and rational. "Take it from someone who has lived many years more than you on this earth. There are some people whose hearts are just so torn down by life that they let the darkness take over. That evil they allow into their souls is not the fault of the victims they take later. No matter the guilt you feel right now, you are as much of a victim as your baby girl."

Carly shifted in the pew, obviously not enjoying being called a victim but was silent, letting Nancy continue.

"You need to talk to Jack, my dear. The two of you need to come together during this time or you will not survive it. I promise you that." Nancy said, firmly. "There is no greater defense to the horror that you are facing than the kind of love that you and that man share. You give each other strength, you always have. Why are you letting this make you forget that?"

After a moment Carly bit her lip and shut her eyes in resignation, knowing she was right. Nancy saw that she got her point across and gently brushed a lock of hair behind Carly's ear.

"Don't ever forget, Carly, that you have someone greater than James Stenbeck on your side."

"You?" Carly said, again only half joking.

Nancy gave her a warm indulgent smile and shook her head. She gestured towards the alter that was literally alight with dancing candle flames and giving the small space a warm and comforting ambience.

Carly found herself unable to joke a reply at that and only nodded again. She internally acknowledged that it had been a long while since she found herself really believing in something greater than herself. Yet, in this moment, with this kind woman who was offering such wisdom and solace, she couldn't help but feel a sense of peace wash over her.

She watched Nancy close her eyes and after a moment she did the same. Feeling Nancy's reassuring hand take hers, Carly sent up a prayer to whoever might be listening that the same feeling of peace was being shared by those they searched for.

((ATWT))((ATWT))((ATWT))((ATWT))((ATWT))((ATWT))((ATWT))((ATWT))((ATWT))((ATWT))((ATWT))((ATWT))((ATWT))((ATWT))((ATWT))((ATWT))((ATWT))((ATWT))((ATWT))((ATWT))((ATWT))  
((ATWT))((ATWT))((ATWT))((ATWT))((ATWT))((ATWT))((ATWT))((ATWT))((ATWT))((ATWT))((ATWT))((ATWT))

**Additional A/N: As a longtime fan of ATWT, Nancy Hughes was the character that I think was the heart of the show and I only hope that I did her justice. RIP Helen Wagner; you are still greatly missed.**


	13. Promises of Strength Through The Sorrow

**AUTHOR'S NOTE (BRIEF APOLOGY): Okay, everyone, here it is. I am not going to make any excuses for it being so late because other than the typical real life got in the way, I don't want to make any. I love this story and I love this couple but I wasn't able to devote the time I wanted to it/them until now. There is nothing left for me to say except that I am truly and deeply sorry that it took this long to update. I never EVER meant for it to go this far. That being said, I hope you all can forgive me and welcome me and this story back into your hearts.**

**I only have one more thing to say before I let you all go (and hopefully enjoy) this chapter. As a fanfic reader, I understand your frustration with the length between updates. I, myself, have had to wait months and sometimes years for chapters of stories I like to appear. The one thing I can GUARENTEE will not help me write faster are rude reviews/emails. If anything it makes me want to do the opposite and not write at all. I love hearing from you all and I don't even mind constructive criticism, but please, think before you write to me.**

**Anyways, I'm all done except to say HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY to everyone out there no matter what your situation romantically. Sending warm, happy, sexy CarJack thoughts your way!**  
**ENJOY**  
**~JP**

**PS- M rated chapter...yeah, I said it. M! So cover your eyes children! Or don't...but don't say I didn't warn ya! ;-)**

Family Imperfect: part 12  
by Jaclyn Parker

"_God didn't promise days without pain, laughter without sorrow, sun without rain,  
__but He did promise strength for the day, comfort for the tears, and light for the way."  
~Unknown  
_

* * *

The drive home from the hospital was silent since Carly was hardly in the mood for the radio. Instead she let her conversation with Nancy Hughes wash over her again and again, each time the wise woman's words making more sense than the last. As Carly pulled into the driveway at Milltown she realized that she was lucky she hadn't been in an accident. She had no recollection of the drive; she had been that caught up in her thoughts.

Walking through the front door she stopped short at the sight of Sage sitting on the couch. The young girl looked up from the book she was reading and noticed her mom standing in the doorway. Her eyes searched her face for some sign of good news. Obviously not finding what she wanted, her face fell for a moment before slipping on a brave front.

"Hi, Mom." Sage said, giving her a small smile.

"Hi, Sweetie." Carly replied, moving into the warm house. She shut the door behind her and dropped her things off on the desk. "Where is everyone?"

"J.J.'s in the kitchen and Daddy's upstairs on the phone." Sage answered. "How's Mattie?"

Carly forced herself to tear her eyes away from the direction of the stairs and back to Sage, who was looking at her expectantly.

"No change." Carly said and Sage answered with a soft "oh". Sending her a small smile similar to the one Sage had given her, she walked over to where her daughter sat.

Bending down to press a kiss to the top of her head, she gestured to the book in Sage's hands.

"What are you reading?"

Sage shrugged and showed her the cover of the paperback in her hand, "It's for English class."

"Hmm, I think I remember your brothers having to read the same book. Do you like it?" Carly asked and again Sage just shrugged, her eyes lowering.

"It's okay. I just...I can't really focus on it." She muttered and let out a sigh when Carly wrapped a comforting arm around her small shoulders. Sage leaned into her mother's embrace for a quiet moment, absorbing the reassurance.

"I know, Baby." Carly said before pressing another kiss to her hair.

"Hi, Mom," J.J. said, startling them. Both Carly and Sage lifted their heads to see him walking into the living room finishing up what looked to be a sandwich. "How's Mattie?"

After telling him the same thing she told Sage, J.J. let out a similar sigh of disappointment. Changing the subject, Carly motioned to the kitchen.

"What are you doing eating at this time of day? Dinner isn't for another couple of hours."

"I know, but I'm going to work at the repair shop for a while so I figured I would just eat something real quick in case it gets real late." J.J. said and Carly frowned.

"Tonight? Now?"

"Mom, I...I need to get out for a while." J.J. said softly..

As he spoke, his everyday happy-go-lucky mask slipped momentarily. It was only a brief lapse but it was enough for Carly to see her son's internal struggle with the circumstances of his life.

"Okay," Carly said, nodding slowly in sympathy. "Do you need me to drop you off?"

Relief flashed across J.J.'s face at the knowledge that Carly understood how he felt and everything he was _not_ saying.

"No, that's okay. Mrs. Ramirez said she will drop me off on the way to taking Lanie and Sage to dance. And Mr. Garvey said he'll bring me home after we close up."

"Mrs. Ramirez?" Carly echoed and looked down at Sage.

For the first time, noticed that her daughter was dressed in her typical dance uniform of a plain pink leotard with a pair of slightly baggy black sweatpants. She even had her hair pulled up in a neatly practiced dancer's bun.

Sage looked up and frowned, "Mom, I don't want to go."

"Then why..." Carly gestured to her outfit, her brow furrowing in puzzlement.

"J.J.'s making me. He called Lanie's mom behind my back and told her I was going and to see if she could carpool. Then Lanie texted me and said they were going to be on their way in a couple minutes. I couldn't say no or else it would be really rude." Sage glared at her older brother, who returned the look with a defiant one of his own.

"J.J.!" Carly said, her eyes widening in shock that her son would do that behind his sister's back.

"Mom, she hasn't been to dance class in almost three weeks. And she has a solo for the spring recital, remember? Plus, she has to get out the house too," J.J. paused and then added in a determined voice, much wiser than his 16 years of age. "It's not good for her to just sit around and think about..."

J.J. trailed off, his eyes darting away in frustration.

Carly sighed and felt her chest tighten at the truth in her son's words. While the rest of them were able to get out the house of their own free will, Sage was still too young to go anywhere alone. That meant she was stuck in the house and with her daughter's over active imagination, Carly could only envision what scenarios had run through the young girl's mind.

"J.J.'s right, Sage." Carly said and ignored the stunned look Sage gave her at those words. "You should go."

"But..." Sage tried to protest only to have Carly shake her head.

"Sage, you love your dance class, I know you do."

"Yeah but," Sage tried again and tear sprung into her hazel eyes. "I love Emmy more."

"Oh Sweetie, come here." Carly pulled Sage into a huge hug, holding her tightly. "Just because you go to dance and enjoy yourself for a couple of hours, doesn't mean that you are any less worried about your sister. Or your aunt. Or Mattie."

Carly pulled back and looked her daughter square in the eyes.

"But if you really don't want to go, I won't make you. So I'm going to ask you one time and I want a truly honest answer. Do you _want_ to go to dance class?"

Sage bit her lip and thought hard. While it was true that she was still intensely worried about her family, especially her missing sister and aunt, it was even truer that she loved the freedom that came when she performed. For two hours, the real world slipped away and she could give in to the music and the movement of her body. She hadn't appreciated how much she needed that escape from reality...if for only a little while.

"Yeah," Sage finally admitted softly. "Yeah, Mom, I really do."

Carly gave her another hug and then abruptly reached out to pull J.J. into the embrace as well. A car horn honked in the driveway and they pulled apart.

"Good timing, Mrs. Ramirez." J.J. joked and they all gave a small laugh.

Carly watched as J.J. helped Sage lift her dance bag onto her shoulder after waiting for her to put her heavy jacket on.

"Thanks, J.J." Sage said, looking up at him and by the tone of her voice he knew it was for more than doing some lifting.

"No problem, Squirt." J.J. responded with a soft smile before poking a finger in the middle of her tight dancer's bun.

Sage instantly squealed and batted his hand away from her hair.

"Stop, J.J.! Do you know how long it took me to get it perfect? Ugh, you are so annoying!"

"_You are so annoying_," J.J. mimicked her and they began to bicker back and forth as they walked out the front door. Almost as an after-thought, goodbyes thrown over their shoulders in Carly's direction before the door closed behind them.

A few moments after she heard the car drive off, Carly found herself sitting in the same spot on the sofa Sage had been in, gazing at the book that had been in her daughter's possession. She stared hard at the cover but her eyes were unfocused, her thoughts in another place entirely than someplace called "Terebithia".

It was the unmistakable sound of Jack's footsteps on the stairs that brought her out of her trance and had her looking in that direction. He came into view, his cell phone pressed to his ear, and he stopped when he saw her on the couch instead of Sage. Hanging up the phone he made it to the bottom step and stared at her.

"Hi," Jack said, softly.

"Hi," Carly echoed, just as quietly.

Silence hung in the air for a long moment before Carly decided to break it.

"Who was on the phone?"

Jack looked down at the cell phone grasped tightly in his palm with an expression as if he had forgotten it was there. He shook himself and looked back at her, his brow furrowed.

"Um, some buddies of mine over at the FBI. They were trying to see if there were any other cases that were similar to...what's happening here." Jack replied.

"Did they find anything?" Carly asked, a hopeful bubble springing up in her chest. She found she was gripping the book in her hands so tightly that her knuckles were white.

"No," Jack said and winced as he watched the momentary hope in her eyes vanish.

"Oh." Carly said softly, the word expelling on a breath of heavy air.

"Where are the kids?" Jack asked, trying to change the subject.

He moved deeper into the living room but stopped before he reached the couch.

"J.J. went to go work and Sage is at dance class. They needed some normalcy," Carly said, looking at him over her shoulder and giving him a small sad smile. "I can't say I blame them."

Jack started forward again, his expression soft but he again stopped after only a few feet. The tender expression turned to one of hesitation of what exactly he was supposed to do next. He looked unsure about where his boundaries where when it came to comforting her and it broke Carly's heart to see how far apart they had drifted in such a short time.

Jack looked like he wanted to say something but whatever it was, he appeared to change his mind, instead gesturing towards the kitchen.

"I think I'm going to just grab a thermos of coffee and then head down to the station..."

At the mention of his running off to the station again, something in Carly snapped.

"Jack, stop, we need to talk." Carly interrupted him.

When he hesitated and glanced towards the front door, she stared at him long and hard.

"If you go to the station now, Jack, I'm not sure I will ever forgive you."

"Carly, what the hell are you talking about? Why would you say something like that?" Jack said, his eyes widening at the callous words that had just come from his wife.

"I mean it, Jack." Carly said, realizing the truth of what she had just said only a moment after she said. "I understand the pull you have inside of you to go and be a cop until our daughter is found but _I_ need _you_ to understand the pull of your family still at home."

"No, Carly, that's just it. You _don't_ understand," Jack said, running a hand through his hair quickly and looking down at the floor.

"Then explain it to me, Jack. _Talk to me_!" Carly leaned forward and reached out a hand towards him.

Jack stared at her outstretched fingers, wanting to take them in his own and never let go. But how could he explain the whirling mass of emotion that he felt every single day as he walked by their daughter's empty nursery?

He so desperately wanted to be her "G-man" and be the one to place Emmy back in her loving arms; to be the one to put the smiles back on his family's faces. But most importantly, he just wanted his baby girl back where she belonged. But how could he do all of that when he felt that it was his fault she was gone in the first place?

"I broke my promise, Carly." Jack finally said, his voice ragged with raw fury and grief. "The day she was born, while you were...so sick...I made a promise to our daughter that I would never let anything hurt her or this family again."

"You didn't break that promise, Jack! James Stenbeck broke it for you!" Carly said passionately.

"That doesn't matter to me! I let her down... I let _you_ down. What about the promise that I made to you at the station a few days ago? I can't bring her back to us if I can't go and do my job!" Jack replied.

Carly shook her head as he threw her own words back in her face. She had said it to keep them focused, not to inflict torture on himself or them as a couple. There was only so much he could do at the station but so much more he could do here with her; for her.

"What are you going to do, Jack? Harass the crime scene unit for evidence that doesn't exist? Drive Margo crazy trying to create facts we don't have?

"I don't know! I don't _care_! I have to do _something_! Why can't you understand this?" Jack yelled and then immediately looked apologetic. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to yell at you, it's just...dammit Carly, how can you..."

He trailed off, not knowing how to phrase the next part of what he needed to say. Carly eyed him carefully, her back straightening instinctively at the tone of his voice.

"How can I _what_, Jack?" she asked, knowing that they were finally getting to the heart of why they were drifting apart in this mess. "Tell me! How can I _what_?

"How can you be so...calm?" he said, searching her eyes for some answer he wasn't sure he wanted to hear. "This anger inside of me scares me Carly, but it's the only thing keeping me going right now. But you...it's like there's nothing. I have seen no sign of the same pain that I am carrying around every single damn moment of every single damn day."

Their gazes met and he said the one thing that had been bothering him the most above anything.

"Carly, I haven't even seen you cry since the day Emmy disappeared."

"Jack..." Carly started to speak but he cut her off, finally being able to get what had really been troubling him off his mind and not being able to stop.

"I don't know. Maybe that's real reason I am at the station all the time besides trying to find _our daughter_, is because I don't want to come home! There at least the department is full of facts and people running around who want to bring them all home as much as I do. I can't...I feel like I can't connect with you, Carly, because it feels like you've already given up!"

Carly flinched at the accusing words, feeling the hot burn of tears prick her eyes but unable to fall. Jack noticed and immediately wanted to explain away his words but found he couldn't. He wanted to fix this as much as she did and the only way to do that was to be honest with each other, even if it hurt.

"Carly, I want to understand _that_! I have to know why you are acting this way."

"The truth?" Carly asked quietly and, startled by the question, Jack gave her an odd look.

"Yes, of course the truth."

"I'm not calm, Jack." Carly said, struggling to try to sum up her emotions just as he had done before her. "I mean, yes, anger comes and goes in waves but the main thing I feel right now is _numb_."

The cracks in the inner dam she had built around her emotions the past few days that had started to appear during her talk with Nancy Hughes finally gave way and she rambled on. She let the pain and frustration of the past few days, hell the past few weeks, fuel her words and echo in her voice.

"I'm numb, Jack, from everyone asking me how I'm doing when it's damn obvious that my heart is missing from chest. I'm numb from seeing the hope turn into disappointment on my children's face when I have nothing good to tell them when I come home. I'm numb from knowing that it's the same look I must give you when you come back from the station every time."

She looked up at Jack and what he saw in her eyes stole his breath away. He instinctively moved closer to her and knelt by her side.

"I'm numb because I can't tell my husband, the one person on this Earth who knows me better than anyone else, how I'm feeling because he's so damn angry all the time. And why do you assume that it's just so easy for me to stay behind while you run around looking for Emmy? Since when has it ever been easy for me, Jack, to let things go when it comes to our family? _That's_ when I get angry, Jack. When I think about the dismissive way you've handled me when I ask to come to the station with you or if there are any new leads on the case? And I'm tired of it! I don't want that anger to touch me anymore, Jack; to touch this house or our children. We..._I_ need hope now more than ever, not anger."

"What...what do you want me to do, Carly? To say?" Jack asked, reaching out to tentatively touch her tightly clasped hands. Without hesitation she opened them and grabbed onto his hand like a lifeline.

"I want you to tell me that you feel it too. The emptiness inside, not just the anger. I want you to tell me you understand how hard this is for me!" Carly begged him and he placed a gentle hand on her cheek as she added, "Please, Jack."

"Of course I do."

"Then why are you leaving me alone to deal with this?"

"Carly, I'm not! I swear, I'm not! Don't you see, Baby? That's why I need to be at the station. I need to..."

"No! You need to be with _me_." Carly said, shaking her head furiously. "I'm trying, Jack. I'm trying so hard not to fall apart but I honestly don't know how much longer I can continue to do this without you."

She gently placed a hand of her own on his cheek so that they were connected as she stared deep into the chocolate brown eyes she loved so much.

"Don't _you_ see? I have to be with you to get through this. I get my strength from you."

Jack turned his face slightly to kiss the inside of her palm, never taking his eyes off of her for an instant.

"I get _my_ strength from _you_." He echoed softly and Carly let out a quiet strangled sigh as he gathered her into his arms.

He pulled her down onto his lap from the couch and held her tightly, burying his face in her neck. A moment later he felt the wetness against his head and slowly pulled away to stare at her.

For the first time since that awful day Emmy went missing he saw his wife begin to cry. The grip she had on his shoulders as her body shook made him realize, more than anything, the truth of all they had just to each other. In their misguided attempts to make everything okay for each other and their family, they had unconsciously left the other to go it alone.

Jack swore that no matter whatever came next, _that_ would never happen again.

"Baby, it's okay. I'm right here." Jack said, reaching up to brush the hot tears from her cheeks. Leaning forward a bit, he gently kissed each closed eye. "I'm not going anywhere."

Carly's eyes opened to show him the brilliant blue depths that he had fallen into long ago and never found his way out of again.

"I love you," Jack said, tangling one hand in her golden locks and cupping the back of her head. He stared into her eyes and repeated the words, letting every ounce of love he had for his soulmate shine through.

"I love you too, Jack. So much." Carly replied, feeling lighter than she had in weeks upon recognizing the unspoken promise they had just made.

Jack gently kissed Carly's lips, a feather light touch that gradually became more and more demanding. Realizing what he had done and what the circumstance were, he pulled back.

"I'm..." Jack started to apologize but Carly reached up and covered his mouth.

Without saying a word she leaned down and pressed her lips to his again. Once more what started as gentle caresses began to pick up heat. Carly sighed and opening her mouth, allowed him to kiss her with passion.

In a move that would have made Hollywood love scenes proud, Jack managed to rise from the floor with Carly still in his arms. She wound her arms around his neck and pressed tender open mouthed kisses to the area right below his left ear. His body stiffened as she found a particularly sensitive spot and he stopped short of the stairs.

"Carly, stop that." Jack practically growled out as he tightened his grip on her body as she did it again.

"Stop what?" She said, her voice low and husky. He felt a small smile against his skin before she assaulted the same spot.

"I can't walk when you do that and you know it." Jack replied, feeling a tremor go through his entire body and making his lower region respond with fervor.

"Why do you need to walk anywhere?" Carly asked, in that same low voice.

"Because the new damn front door _you_ wanted a couple years ago is too see-through to do what I'm about to do to you on the living room couch!" Jack argued.

Carly felt a surprising reaction bubble up inside of her and she giggled loudly. What was even more surprising was the lack of guilt she felt for laughing at all. Everything around them was a hot mess at the moment and if they could find a small piece of happiness in each other's arms who had the right to judge; least of all themselves.

"Then take me upstairs, G-man, and prove it to me." Carly whispered in his ear and laughed again as he practically ran up the stairs with her bouncing along in his arms.

Reaching their bedroom, Jack thanked God that he had left the door open earlier because it was much easier to kick the door closed than it was to kick it open. Placing her down in the center of the bed, he hurried to go close the blinds on their bedroom window. But by the time he turned back around he found his wife already stripped down to her pale pink cotton bikini underwear and matching bra. Jack couldn't hide the disappointment on his face as he lamely gestured in her direction and the scattered clothes on the floor.

"Well that's no fair."

"I think it's already been established that I don't want to play fair." Carly answered him and the tone of her voice made him whip his eyes from the pile of clothes to her face.

In that moment Jack knew that this time, when they made love, it would not be slow and tender. While there was certainly a time and place for that, this was to be an unyielding affirmation of life, of hope, and of each other.

Jack virtually stalked to the bed, yanking his dark grey cotton t-shirt over his head as he did, flinging it to the floor to join her clothes. As soon as he was at the edge of the bed Carly was on her knees, tugging at the belt on his jeans. Normally, he would have told her to slow down but today he was right there on the same page.

His hands found their way to her back and the clasp of her bra. Almost simultaneously, she undid the belt buckle and tugged it off as he unsnapped her bra and pulled of down off of her shoulders.

She looked up at him in amusement with a small mischievous smile.

"It's like synchronized sex."

Jack chuckled loudly bending forward to press a kiss to her mouth and then moved to kiss the hollow at the base of her throat. Any more laughter got stuck in his chest as Carly maneuvered her hand inside his now open jeans and caressed him through his boxer briefs. A hiss escaped him and his head shot straight up, narrowly missing her chin.

He stared at her with narrowed eyes as she grinned back at him with those sparkling baby blues. Even as sexually charged as the moment was, Jack instantly felt a pang inside of his heart at the beautiful the woman in his arms. Even before Emmy had gone missing, the stress of Rosanna being gone had kept most romantic gestures to a minimum. In fact, the last time they had been together had been after the explosion at the safe house. Jack hadn't realized until this moment how much he had missed her; how much he had missed his _wife_.

Something must have shone in his gaze because she paused in her ministrations to run one gentle finger down the side of his cheek, over the slight scruff of a five o'clock beard.

"I missed you too, Jack." She said and his eyes widened.

"How do you _do_ that?"

Instead of answering him, she kissed him with all the passion and love she held inside for this wonderful man that was all hers. Her hand again began to stroke him, feeling him grow harder at every caress.

"Two can play at this game," Jack murmured firmly against her lips and slid his free hand over her hip to cup her through her underwear. He then slipped a finger between the damp cotton and her fever hot skin, smiling when he found she was _very_ ready for him.

Slowly he slid his finger in and out of her, the wetness helping him to create a slick and easy routine. Over top of her panties he added a small circular motion of his thumb at the same time, aimed at the concentrated bud of nerves. Soon she was rocking back and forth on his hand, with her forehead pressed against his bare shoulder. He could feel a small tremor start to pass through her as a low keening noise began from the back of her throat.

Just before she could feel that hot liquid warmth of a release spread through her body, Jack's fingers stopped and retreated. Her head shot up, much in the same way his had a few minutes ago and she stared at him incredulously.

"All's fair in love and..." Jack began to say but a sharp tug of her hands pulling his hips in closer contact with her own stopped him.

"Shut up, Jack." Carly snarled and pulled him to her with surprising strength to kiss him again. Her bare chest met his and ignited a raging fire inside. Jack responded instantaneously and before either of them realized it, the rest of their clothes had been shed and they were lying on top of the bed, a mess of tangled limbs.

Jack was certain that he was going to explode if they didn't move this along and thankfully she seemed to feel the same way. She guided him to her opening and he slowly pushed into her, one inch at a time. Finally they were connected all the way and took a moment to enjoy the feeling. But soon it was obvious that their bodies wanted more and he started to move. It wasn't long before Carly began to rock her hips the same way she had moments ago against his hand.

Jack nuzzled a bare breast and flicked his tongue out to catch the pebbled nipple. Carly's fingers slid into his hair and gripped hard when he took the whole nipple into his mouth, the tugging there connecting all the way to the pit of her abdomen. He switched to the other side and the same bolt of lightening hit, this time setting off something inside that caused Carly to say enough was enough.

Her long lithe legs wrapped around his hips and she used to heels of her feet to tug him closer inside of her. On command Jack moved faster and harder, their hips so close together that lower bodies were hardly ever separated more than an inch. He bent his head and traced his tongue along the edge of her chin down to her ear and along her neckline. When he reached the spot where her neck met her shoulder he gave a small nip and felt the subsequent gasp ripple through them both. Jack did it again and when he got the same reaction only slightly stronger he knew she was as close as he was.

"Now, Jack, please." Carly managed to gasp out.

Her body was crying for release and her hands were traveling everywhere along his body they could reach in a desperate attempt at something she wasn't sure she could ever name.

Jack turned his hips a minute degree but it was exactly the angle that was needed to push them both over the edge. His head flew back and he moaned loudly, pulling her hips as close to him as humanly possible while feeling his release flow deep through his veins. Carly arched up into him, her fingernails digging into his biceps and her eyes half closing. She struggled to find a moment to catch her breath as waves of pleasure rolled over her and his name tumbled out over his lips in an incoherent string of sounds.

When they finally came back down to Earth, they quickly moved under the covers as slight sheen of sweat on their bodies met with the cool air of their bedroom. A glance at the clock had them noting that they had a good hour before Sage was due back from dance. Carly settled next to him with her head lying on his chest. She listened as his heartbeat begin to steady from it's earlier worked up pace. Staying silent and moving as carefully as possible, Jack reached over to pick up a long, sleek, silver remote from the bedside table. Hitting a button the stereo system that they had splurged on for Christmas started up and a soft jazz number spread out over the room.

After a couple of minutes, Carly spoke up but kept her voice low as to not completely break the calm.

"Jack, what happens now?"

He was quiet for a long time and if it weren't for the steady caress of his fingers up and down her bare back, she would have thought he had fallen asleep. Finally, her head lifted and fell on his chest as he let out a heavy sigh.

"I don't know, Baby. But what ever it is, we'll handle it...together."

Carly nodded and nestled into his side as his arm hugged her, feeling him to press a tender kiss to her hair.

Letting the music drift over them, they fell quiet again and took comfort with the one thing that had been righted in their confusion filled world: each other.


	14. The Importance Of Courage Over Fear

**Author's Note: Hello everyone! I know I have been a little lax in updates but you guys are still out there, right? RIGHT? LOL Okay, truth is that I have _really_ struggled with this chapter. Probably more so than any other chapter I have ever written before in any of my stories. It was extremely hard to write (subject wise) and then I debated whether or not to split it into two different chapters to sort of ease the heaviness. Ultimately I decided to leave it as one because I found it was necessary in order to bring in all the elements that I need to set up more of the story.**

**A warning: This chapter does take on a darker tone so please prepare yourselves for it. Also a lot of you are going to be mad at me after this, I have accepted that. But please, PLEASE, trust me. If you can do that, I will try my best to get the next chapter (which is more than halfway done) out ASAP. That being said, despite my warning, I hope you all enjoy this chapter.**  
**~JP**

Family Imperfect  
by Jaclyn Parker

_Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the  
__judgment that something else is more important than fear.  
__~Ambrose Redmoon_  
************************************************************************

It had been almost two weeks since Emmy and Johnny had been left in Rosanna's care and there seemed to be no end in sight as to how much longer they would all be stuck in their basement prison. The good news, if it could be called that, was now that he had the leverage of the children to use against her, Rosanna was no longer chained to her bed at night. And while the children had become accustomed to her presence, she knew that they were scared and homesick.

Johnny was old enough to voice his fears and his longing to go home to his daddy and the nice lady, Janet, who practically lived with them. While still confused as to what was happening, he had slowly begun to fall into a simple routine as children often do to cope with traumatic events. By getting him to open up about things like school, his family, and his friends she could see glimpses of the happy little boy that he normally was.

Emmy scared her more than Johnny though when the baby had refused to eat anything offered to her, be it formula or baby food. By the end of day two Rosanna was out of ideas and full of fear of what would happen to Emmy if this behavior continued. Finally hunger overruled the baby's stubbornness and before bed that night, Emmy finally accepted a bottle from a very relieved Rosanna.

But the real progress had come two nights later when Emmy was screaming in her crib, calling out in desperate baby pleas for her mother. Tears streaming down her own face, Rosanna had gone in and lifted the heartbroken baby into her arms. Holding the sobbing baby close, she had begun to pace the length of the bedroom. Trying to think of anything that would comfort her, Rosanna hadn't even noticed that she had begun to hum under her breath. It wasn't until she noticed that Emmy had gone completely silent and was staring at her with hopeful eyes that she realized what song she had been humming.

Truth be told, Rosanna wasn't sure how she remembered the song that had Jack had written during Carly and Jack's wedding in Montana or why she had started to hum that particular tune. However, both thoughts soon became moot points as she recognized the soothing effect it had on her niece. Almost instantly, Emmy had let out a small shuddering sob and curled into Rosanna's chest, closing her eyes and drifting into the first true slumber since she had arrived.

After that point, the baby's eyes followed every move she made as if she was afraid that Rosanna would also disappear like everything else she held familiar in her short little life.

At the same time that Rosanna was bonding with the children and trying to keep sane herself, she began to notice indications that their captor was planning something huge.

It was almost a full week after the children had arrived that she got her answer. At the end of the day he had come down into the basement with a large mock family portrait, their new last name engraved on a small gold plaque at the bottom. He began to babble on about putting it above their fireplace mantle in their new home as soon as it was ready. But for now it would hang on the wall opposite the couch in the living area and serve as a reminder as to the wonderful family unit he had created for them.

_The Stenbeck Family_.

Rosanna knew at that moment of fanaticism, the window of opportunity to try and escape from this madman was closing too quickly for them not to make an attempt soon.

She rationalized that they were still in Oakdale or, at the very least, a town on the outskirts. That being the case there was a strong probability that she could find some help once she got them out. But if he moved them to a different location, possibly overseas from the hints he had been dropping lately, she knew that their chances of ever making it home again, any of them, dropped drastically.

Surprisingly her method of escape was actually very simple once she figured it out.

Rosanna had noticed that while the cameras set up in the apartment monitored their every move, none of them were facing the stairs. Whether it was an arrogant mistake on his part or if he just figured there was no reason to film them, she didn't look a gift horse in the mouth. But it was what she noticed about the door blocking their exit to freedom that gave her the biggest surge of hope yet.

The two thick hinges of the door were on the inside and despite having lived most of her life in luxury she was familiar with the basic mechanics of carpentry. While heavy, she concluded that she would be able to pull the door off towards her long enough for her to get the kids out and for her to follow moments later. All she needed was something resembling a screwdriver and a hammer to force the pins out from their brackets. The replacement for the screwdriver was a nothing short of a miracle that Rosanna discovered by accident one night while preparing dinner.

As she had reached into the large refrigerator, her sleeve got caught on a piece of metal piping from a shelf that was sticking out. After cursing under her breath at the scratch she received she began tugging on it lightly to test its give. Almost two inches wide and eight inches long, she deemed it perfect. As for a hammer, the heel of one of her thick old fashioned shoes would easily do the trick.

For four long days she quietly planned, going over various scenarios while monitoring his schedule and patterns as to figure out the best times to avoid being caught. Every free moment she got she was rummaging in the fridge, bending and twisting the metal bar until it was almost completely off the edge of the shelf.

Then, on the afternoon of the fifth day since the portrait had arrived, he came to join them for lunch as was the normal routine. Rosanna thought it was a Tuesday but she couldn't be sure; time moved so differently for them in their little prison-world.

It started out typical enough, getting the kids ready as well as herself before greeting him at the table with kisses to his cheek.

She had dressed Emmy in one of her frillier rompers, much to the baby's displeasure, and Johnny in his typical jeans and white t-shirt. Rosanna wore a long sleeved pale pink dress with a full skirt and black patent leather pumps, much to _her_ displeasure.

She wasn't sure what made this particular afternoon more unbearable than the previous ones but everything he said or did made her angrier and angrier.

_How dare he sit there and act as if he hadn't stolen all of them from their own lives! How dare he talk about moving them half way round the world like it didn't matter they had real families who were desperately missing them! How dare he..._

"Can I have some more milk?" Johnny spoke up, interrupting her venomous thoughts.

Rosanna was about to reply when a fist pounded on the table startling them all.

"We went over this, Johnny. How do you ask for things in this family?"

Johnny glanced quickly at the man seated at the head of the table and then ducked his head mumbling something under his breath.

"I can't hear you, Son."

"Please."

"Please...who?"

"Please, Mother."

A large hand reached out to pat the boy on the head, signaling his happiness with his answer. Rosanna could see Johnny force himself not to shy away from the gesture. Needing reassurance, the little boy looked up his eyes wide with unshed tears and Rosanna sent him a small air kiss and a smile. The corners of his mouth turned up slightly but with a side glance again at the man next to him, they fell again.

"Sweetheart, I think our son asked for more milk. He is a growing boy, you know."

Nodding her head quickly, Rosanna prayed that he had not seen the tell-tale look of disgust on her face as she hurriedly got up from the table to grab more milk from the fridge.

Grabbing the thin metal bar in her hand she vented all of her pent up frustration into one good pull and with a quiet crack it finally broke off in her hand. Unfortunately the sound did not go unnoticed.

"What on Earth was that?" He asked, beginning to rise from his seat.

"Nothing, Darling," Rosanna thought quickly for some kind of excuse. Seeing a glass jar of olives on the long shelf in front of her she slid it into the jar of mustard next to them. "I accidently knocked some things together."

It must have been a good enough excuse because he just made a grunting noise and then sat back down to finish his sandwich.

Holding back a cry of delight, she carefully slipped the broken bar into the sleeve of her dress and withdrew from the fridge, milk in hand as if nothing was out of the ordinary.

After she had given Johnny more milk and made sure that Emmy was actually eating her banana slices instead of wearing them, Rosanna causally looked over at her "husband".

"Darling, we are running low on groceries. Do you think you could pick some things up at the store?"

"Of course, Dearest." He said, patting her hand absently as he sipped his coffee.

Rosanna let out a soft sigh and stirred her soup, moving on the next step in her plan. "I wish I could make you my famous steak and potatoes for dinner but..."

"Why can't you?" He looked up when she trailed off and frowned. "I can just pick up some steaks at the store."

"No! Absolutely not!" Rosanna gasped quietly. "The only steak I ever use is from a special farmer's market up in a place called Stoneyford. I can't even begin to think about cooking it with, ugh, regular meat."

He narrowed his eyes at her thoughtfully and Rosanna managed to look affronted at even the mere mention of such a thing.

She knew she was pushing it by mentioning a specific town name but it was only way for her plan to have a chance at working. Stoneyford was about an hour's drive from Oakdale which would give her at least a two hour buffer in case he was a speed shopper.

Precious minutes slipped by until finally he grinned at her.

"Well, if my beautiful wife wants to make me a special dinner, who am I to stand in her way?" He said, laughing a little. "You shall have your steaks, you silly little woman."

The joy on her face wasn't false for once as she felt hope flutter in her chest. The sensation of optimism even made the kiss she had to bestow on him before he left a little easier to bear.

She waited a good twenty minutes after he closed the door behind him, until the house had completely settled, an indicator that he was truly gone.

After placing a dozing Emmy down in her playpen at the end of the sofa, Rosanna motioned for Johnny to join her on the couch. In the guise of reading a story to him while he sat on her lap, Rosanna explained in hushed tones that she was going to try and get them out of there. When she explained what she needed him to do to help, he stiffened in her arms. Johnny turned worried eyes on her but she kissed the tip of his nose reassuringly. At his small smile she hugged him close and told him that she needed him to be brave for her just a little while longer. Though so very young, Johnny seemed to understand this might be their only chance and slowly nodded his head.

"Good boy!" Rosanna praised and hugged him again. This time Johnny turned around in her arms and returned her hug around her neck.

"Love you, 'Sanna," He whispered into her ear and Rosanna felt tears prick her eyes.

While Johnny's father was still a bastard in her eyes, this innocent little boy had carved out a very unique place in her heart; one that she had thought was reserved for another lost little boy whom she had briefly called her own.

After another quick hug Rosanna left him on the couch, the storybook open on his lap. She casually made her way towards the kitchen before sliding around the far wall in order to disappear from the view of the camera. Hurrying up the basement steps, she pulled the metal bar from her dress sleeve as she went. Reaching the top of the stairs, she immediately slipped off one of her thick heeled shoes. One quick look over to decide the best angle of approach and she lifted her shoe to begin.

It wasn't as easy as it looked as the pins were thick and slightly rustier than she had anticipated. However, about a half hour in she had almost gotten the entire pin out. Taking a deep breath, Rosanna lifted her heel and gave one mighty smack to the head of the pin.

The resounding "ping" of the metal pin hitting the concrete floor below the stairs had Rosanna grinning over her shoulder at Johnny. The little boy now stood by the playpen, prepared to grab the sleeping Emmy at Rosanna's cue as she had previously instructed. He saw her face and grinned back, bouncing slightly on his toes in anticipation.

Rosanna turned her attention to the top hinge and began the process all over again. The pin was about halfway out of the hinge when a loud creak above their heads had the occupants of the basement freezing in place.

The sound of footsteps increasing had Rosanna panicking and struggling to stand. Her long pale rose colored dress got caught on a nail in the stairs and held her in place directly in front of the door.

For a moment, Rosanna wondered if she could just stab him with the makeshift screwdriver and pray the children would make it far enough away to get help. The sound of her dress tearing brought her away from those thoughts and she rushed down the stairs just in time.

The door swung open and revealed Rosanna sitting on the couch reading to Johnny who sat next to her, huddled into her side. Trying to hide the fact that she was breathless, her blue eyes slid over to him as he watched them carefully from the top of the landing.

"What...what brings you back so soon, Darling?" Rosanna asked, gripping the edges of the large storybook in order to control their trembling.

He was silent for a long moment but then gave her a smile.

"I forgot to ask whether or not our baby girl needed more diapers..."

For one brief shining moment, Rosanna thought she had gotten away with her secreted attempt. But then he went to go close the door behind him and everything fell apart.

Literally.

The uneven weight of the door caused it to sway as it closed and immediately drew his eyes to the hinges. When he had taken in the damage she had done and what it meant, he slowly turned his gaze on her.

The gravity of what was about to happen hit her hard in the solar plexus and Rosanna bent her head low to Johnny's ear.

"I want you to go behind the couch and stay there, no matter what you hear." She whispered.

Johnny looked up at her and his little voice quivered as he fearfully questioned her words, " 'Sanna?"

Pressing a soft kiss to his hair, she gave him a small push. "Go, Johnny. Now!"

Johnny hopped up from the couch and raced to the other side, cowering in the crevice he found between the piece of furniture and the wall.

Taking a deep breath, Rosanna stood and stepped forward until she was effectively blocking him from both the sleeping Emmy in the playpen and the hidden little boy.

"What have you done?" He growled at her, "What did you use to break that door?"

Repeating his questions he pointed a stern finger at her, his voice filled with an absurd undertone of anger and disappointment. When he began berating her like a child a deep well of emotions began to bubble up in the pit of Rosanna's stomach. Her hands balled into fists at her sides and she began to shake.

For a little over a month now, Rosanna had been playing this sick man's role fantasy game. He had taken her from a clinic and forced drugs into her system that she still didn't know what the repercussions would be. He had stolen _children_ from their parents, innocent children who deserved to home in their own beds dreaming peacefully instead of waking up screaming from an unending nightmare. The sleepless nights, the fear, the constant worry had finally come to a boil and she had to let it out.

"We want to go home!" Rosanna suddenly screamed back at him, not being able to hold it in any longer.

He stopped talking, his eyes wide in surprise at her sudden outburst. She took another step forward lifting her chin in defiance. Her voice was strong even though it was the last thing she felt.

"Do you hear me? We want to go _home_!"

He tilted his head at her but the expression on his face eerily familiar to that of amusement.

"And you thought you would be able to...what, Rosanna? Escape?" He asked, his voice low and threatening. "How exactly were you going to do it, my darling little wife? What did you use to try and take those hinges apart? Was it something dangerous enough that you thought you could use against me if your plan failed?"

At the kernel of truth in his words Rosanna's anger induced bravado slowly seeped out of her and he took a step forward. As he invaded her personal space, she could finally see just exactly how much trouble she was in when she detected that his whole body was practically vibrating with rage.

"Where is it?" He suddenly yelled, slapping her hard across the face.

The unexpected blow landed full force upon its mark and Rosanna felt her lip split open as she stumbled into the arm of the couch. Reaching out both hand to try and stop herself from falling to the floor, she felt something shift and slide from inside the arm of her left sleeve.

The distinct sound of metal hitting the floor made both sets of eyes turn downwards to see the makeshift tool lying at their feet. Glancing at each other and then back at the tool, they both lunged for it at the same time. Unfortunately he got there first and before she could move away he struck a foot out, catching her in the ribs.

A soft whoosh of air was expelled from her lungs as she landed face down in the thin carpet, clutching at her aching stomach. She didn't have much time to contemplate the pain as he grabbed her by her hair and yanked her to her feet again.

"How dare you betray me like this?" He yelled, pushing the sharp metal fragment into her neck. He applied just enough pressure to nick her skin and cause a spot of blood to appear. "Was this what you were going to use on me if your original plan failed? This...this...pitiful excuse for a weapon?"

Rosanna winced and was forced to let out a painful whimper when he gripped her hair tighter.

"How can you not appreciate what I am trying to do here?" He screamed at her moving closer so that his body was completely pressed against hers.

When he let go of her hair and thrust the metal piece inside his jacket pocket, she instinctively took the opportunity to try and take a step back. But she was stopped when grabbed her arm so hard that he would undoubtedly leave a bruise in his wake.

"You forget that I saw you, Rosanna! I saw you with Cabot! I know how much you wanted to be his mother! I saw how much you longed for a family and I tried to give one to you! And this..._this_...is how you repay me?"

Rosanna frantically tried to come up with something to say, anything to quell the maelstrom of anger and insanity staring back at her. But as quick as he had grabbed her he released her again, pushing her away from him and back towards the arm of the couch. He ran a hand through his hair and sighed deeply, seemingly trying to reign in all the emotions he was projecting.

The calmness that surrounded him a moment later was more frightening than the anger that had been there before. Rosanna blanched, a feeling of complete dread taking hold of her.

"You know, maybe I was wrong about our little family," he said, his voice taking on a sickeningly sweet undertone.

Before she could blink, he had walked over to the playpen and swooped up Emmy into his arms.

"What do you think, Sweetheart?" He said, bouncing the baby in his arms as he talked down to her. "Do you agree that maybe the stress of having two children right now is causing our lovely little mommy to lose focus?

At the sound of the man's voice, who was not her daddy, Emmy looked up at him with wide blue eyes. One could almost see the wheels in her little mind turning as she tried to figure out who he was and why he was holding her. He looked down into the innocent face and whatever Emmy saw there was enough to frighten her so badly she began to whimper.

"I guess I will just have to remedy that now, won't I?" He finished, but he was now staring directly at Rosanna as he spoke.

In his eyes, Rosanna could see the same fanatical, menacing look that Emmy had seen and felt pure terror flow though her.

"No...please, give her back. I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" Rosanna begged as she stepped forward, her arms reaching for her terrified niece.

Emmy arched away from her strong captor and reached out for the woman with the gentle voice that reminded her of her mommy. But the man just laughed quietly and held the squirming infant tighter as he turned away to begin walking up the basement stairs.

With a wild cry, Rosanna ran after him. But as she reached him at the top landing he suddenly thrust his arm out and gave her a violent shove backwards.

Pin wheeling in the air, Rosanna vainly fought against gravity before feeling the thick wood of the stairs connecting with several parts of her body. Landing in a heap at the bottom slab of concrete, a distinct snap echoed in the room.

" No! 'Sanna!"

Johnny screamed from his hiding place behind the couch and ignoring her earlier warning, he rushed to her side.

His tiny hands fluttered over her body, tentatively stroking the sleeves of her dress. Instinct was telling him he shouldn't touch her but he needed the reassurance just the same.

Rosanna lifted her head only to have the room sway violently and pain spread through every fiber of her being. She forced herself to try to focus and slowly moved one of her arms that were trapped underneath her in order to catch hold of one of Johnny's panicked hands. He went silent instantly but held onto her for dear life. Knowing he was frightened beyond anything he could have dreamed up in a nightmare, Rosanna managed to give him a small smile. But then she immediately turned her focus to the man watching them from the top of the stairs.

"Please..." She whispered loudly, before pausing to spit out a small amount of blood that had filled her mouth.

He stood at the doorway, looking back down at Rosanna's crumpled body with an indifferent expression on his face. Then he shook his head with a long dramatic sigh.

"You just remember, Darling," He said, holding Emmy to him tightly as the baby began to howl in earnest. "Whatever happens now is on _your_ hands."

"No!"

Rosanna valiantly tried to stand but white hot pain surged through her and she collapsed once more, gasping for breath.

With a hollow laugh he opened the door and slipped through, one of those rare glimpses of the dying day's sunlight peeking through before he closed it again. The sound of a deadbolt sliding across on the other side marked his exit with finality.

Rosanna's body shuddered agonizingly on the floor as the edges of her world began to close in around her. She mentally acknowledged the desperate repeated call of her name by the panicked little boy next to her but this time she couldn't find the strength to comfort him. Sounds became muffled and the cold sensation of the concrete under her cheek grew duller, as she fought to stay conscious.

The last thing Rosanna was aware of before she passed out was that she was silently repeating the same phrase over and over again.

_I'm sorry, Carly. I'm so sorry. Forgive me.  
_

* * *

In the ink black darkness of the master bedroom in Milltown, Carly bolted upright in bed gasping for breath, her sister's name on her lips.

"Carly, what's wrong?"

Jack sat up as well, groggy from sleep but nonetheless concerned about his wife.

"I don't...I don't know." Carly said, trying to remember what had caused her to awaken so suddenly but it was just a fog. All that remained were the residual feelings of panic and pain.

"It's okay. I'm here, go back to sleep." Jack murmured, pulling her back down into his arms.

She resisted for a very brief moment but then tucked her head under his chin and snuggled closer. Trying to focus on his heartbeat in hopes that it would calm her own, she let her eyes drift shut again.

Jack's phone going off not more than an hour later woke the sleeping couple again. Carly groaned while Jack reached out a hand to slap at the end table. Finally grasping the vibrating and shrilly ringing electronic device, he flipped it open and let out a gravely greeting.

Not a second later it was Jack who was wide awake this time, with every nerve ending in his body firing.

"Where? Okay, I'll be right there." He asked, his voice low and even. "I said I'll be right there, dammit!"

He emphasized his frustration with a severe closing of the phone and then sat there a minute, gathering his thoughts. By this time Carly was also sitting up in the bed, the covers pressed closely to her chest, her eyes watching his face for any sign of what was going on.

"Jack? What is it?"

Jack leaned over to kiss her forehead before sliding out of the bed. He didn't meet her eyes as he did either action and Carly felt a small lump start to grow in the pit of her stomach.

"Jack...answer me."

"The station got a tip. Apparently..." Jack started and trailed off as he dressed hurriedly.

Beginning again, he looked over at her, knowing that she deserved the truth and remembering his promise to keep her in the loop from now on.

"Two teenagers saw someone snooping around the woods by the burnt safe house. They said they thought they heard a baby cry out and called the police because they knew about Emmy's disappearance."

A sudden wave of hope mixed with pure nausea passed over Carly and for a brief moment she honestly thought she was going to be sick in their bed. Shaking her head she shoved all discomfort aside and jumped out of the bed, rushing around to put her own clothes on.

"What are you doing?" Jack asked, watching her with a furrowed brow.

"I'm coming with you," Carly said in a simple, matter-of-fact tone.

"No, you're not, Carly." Jack said, even as she brushed by him to grab her other sock from where it had been flung near the bathroom door.

"The kids are at Emma's tonight so you can't use them as an excuse to keep me here, Jack."

As she went to go move past him towards the bed, he grabbed her arm.

"Carly, listen to me..." Jack tried but she lifted her face to him and the anger blazing there startled him into silence.

"That is my baby out there, Jack Snyder!" She spat at him. "Don't you dare tell me to stay in this house by myself!"

Along with the fire in her eyes, Jack could see the fear and anxiety lurking just below. He couldn't ask her to sit in their house, their home, with all the memories that went along with it while he was out there possibly finding their daughter.

"Okay, listen to me," Jack said, trying to stamp down the urgency to get going. "You cannot go with me to the safe house."

When Carly opened her mouth to protest again, he shook his head and cut her off.

"You cannot go to the safe house," he repeated, "but I will drop you off at the station on my way. That way when I get back, you'll be there already to hear whatever happened."

Carly's eyes narrowed and she looked like she was going to still argue but stopped abruptly. Apparently sensing that it was the best deal she was going to get, she just sighed and nodded her head reluctantly.

"Okay, then," Jack said, pressing another quick kiss to her lips before releasing her. "Get your shoes and we'll go."

Dropping Carly off at the station was a brief affair with another kiss to send him off again. Not more than twenty minutes later, Jack was parked next to several squad cars and getting out of his own vehicle. He could see that flood lights and a grid had been set up about five yards deep into the woods behind the burnt down shell of the house.

But before he could take a step towards where everything was going on two figures stepped into his path.

"Jesus, Margo, you scared the hell out of me," Jack said, running a hand through his hair before shoving it in his pocket.

"Jack, we need to talk," Margo said, trying to steer him back towards his car.

"What? Now?" Jack asked, flabbergasted. He looked pointedly over her shoulder to where the commotion was going on and then back again. "_Why_?"

"Jack, there are some things...that we didn't tell you over the phone," Dallas said, exchanging a glance with Margo.

"Like what? What the hell is going on?" Jack demanded.

"A call did come in about seeing someone out here with a baby, that much is true," Margo said and then took a deep breath. "But it wasn't a couple of teenagers who reported the sighting. It was an anonymous caller."

"Okay, so...?" Jack asked impatiently trying to see around them at all the activity near the safe house.

"That caller advised the officer on the phone...to bring a shovel." Margo finished quietly, letting the implications behind the words sink in.

The first stirrings of nausea swept over him and the ground tilted a bit before he could lift his eyes in Margo's direction.

"Did they..."

"There's grave, Jack. A small one. They're digging now."

"Should you...shouldn't you be supervising?"

Jack tried to act like what he had just heard hadn't affected him. That it couldn't mean what they were implying it meant.

"Donovan is there." Margo said, referring to the FBI agent that had taken over for Jack in Nicole's case after Emmy had disappeared. "I'm staying with you."

At her words, Jack felt his knees buckle and before he knew it he was sitting on the hood of his car, with his head in his hands. Margo placed a comforting hand on his shoulder while Dallas stood nearby, ready to offer support if needed.

Other than the distant sounds of shovels breaking dirt and low murmurs, the night air was still. No crickets, no owls, no creatures of any kind were making the noise that normally made up the familiar melody of nighttime. It was as if Mother Nature herself was waiting with bated breath.

"Chief!"

A fellow officer's call cut through the silence and Margo took off like a shot. Jack tried to follow but Dallas held him back.

"Wait, Jack! Just wait!"

"What the hell are you talking about, _wait?_" Jack yelled at him, trying to break free of the man's hold. "That could be my daughter out there!"

The young detective might have weighed less than his friend but he somehow managed to not only hold his ground but to drive Jack back a few feet.

"Jack, stop! Stop, Jack, please!" Dallas begged but the raspy plea in the younger man's voice did nothing to slow Jack down.

It was only the sight of Margo walking back with something in her hand that caused Jack to freeze in place.

Dallas looked over his shoulder and released Jack from his hold as their boss approached.

Coming to a stop just in front of him, Margo looked around the dark woods surrounding them as if searching for a hint as to what to say.

Finding nothing but emptiness, she wordlessly handed Jack an evidence bag before looking away. Jack tried to catch her eye, to get her to actually speak those horrific words that he had seen written clearly across her face before she turned away from him. When she still refused to look at him, Jack squared his shoulders and took a deep breath.

As if in slow motion, Jack bent his head to look down at what he held in his hands.

Once a soft rich cream color, the small item in the bag was now covered in dirt and marred with a large dried rust color stain. One faux ear was completely torn off, rendering the teddy bear design of the hat almost unrecognizable.

Except to the father of the baby girl who had gone missing while wearing it.

"Oh God...oh God, no, please."

Jack didn't even recognize the strangled voice as his own until just before it stopped. He dropped the evidence bag to ground, stumbled blindly about three feet to the nearest tree...

...and promptly threw up.


	15. Supressed Grief and Rage Feeds The Beast

**Author's Note: Okay, first off...WHOO HOO Michael Park for winning the Daytime Emmy for Lead Actor! I can't say enough about how much I love him and anything he does so I won't even begin to try. I'll just add another WHOO HOO for good measure and leave it at that! :)**

**Second, I know I left you all very upset with the last chapter and I'm sorry but sometimes, as an author, you have to push the limits of your audience for the sake of the story. I do thank you for sticking with me and all I can say is that I hope when it's all said and done, you'll be happy you took the ride.**

**That being said, enjoy the next chapter!**  
**~JP**

Family Imperfect  
by Jaclyn Parker

"_Suppressed grief suffocates, it rages within the breast,  
__and is forced to multiply its strength."  
__~Ovid  
_

* * *

Truth be told, Jack didn't know how he got back to the station. He settled on the fact that Dallas must have taken him since he was the one next to him holding onto Jack's arm as if he was the one who needed the support. The two of them paused in the lobby in front of the bullpen and Dallas gently reaffirmed his grip on Jack's arm.

In the back of his mind, Jack knew the one being supported was him but it was like his brain had disconnected from his body and he was no longer in control of his own actions.

For example, _rationally_ Jack knew that the young intern from the crime scene unit who suddenly appeared in the lobby was there to take the blood stained baby hat out of his hands in order for it to be processed.

But Jack...he just couldn't seem to make his fingers release their death grip on the plastic bag containing the evidence that had made his entire world tilt on its axis.

He _knew_ that the young man was only trying to do his job so when the intern tried again to take the bag the low menacing growl that escaped from Jack's throat surprised even him.

From that same foggy place that he seemed to wandering around in, Jack vaguely recognized Dallas whispering to the intern and in an instant, the annoying tugging on the plastic bag stopped. Another low murmur and the last thing Jack saw of that same intern was the flapping of his white lab coat behind him as he disappeared as quickly as he came in the direction of the labs.

"Are you ready?" Dallas's deep voice was directed at Jack this time.

"No."

Jack's answer was simple, honest, and fully expected but in the end there was no other option other than to step forward through those familiar glass doors.

The bullpen was a buzz with officers running around from desk to desk, as they tried to sort out the information that was being relayed to them from the gravesite. But when Jack and Dallas walked in the entire room froze.

Jack felt their stares on him but the bright blue eyes he had been expecting...dreading...to see were no where to be found.

"Sir?"

A young cadet approached quietly, but didn't make eye contact.

"We put Mrs. Snyder in the interrogation room near your desk when she came in earlier. We figured she'd want the privacy while she waited for you."

"Does she know?" Jack asked, staring straight ahead.

"No, sir." The cadet answered and then shifted on his feet. "Sir, I think you should know..."

"Can this wait, Cadet...Peterson?" Jack said, glancing down at the officer's tag and then back up again. His voice was flat when he added, "I have to go tell my wife that our daughter is dead."

Whatever Cadet Ronald Peterson was about to say faded from his brain at the senior officer's words. The young man took a step back when he finally made eye contact with Jack, immediately wishing he hadn't. The emotions there were ones that Cadet Peterson prayed to God that he would never see again in _any_ human being's eyes.

"I...I..." Peterson stuttered but Jack just brushed by him, heading towards the interrogation room.

"Jack, wait..." Dallas said, briskly striding after him. "Do you want me to go in with you? Just in case..."

Dallas put his hand on Jack's shoulder but Jack shook him off. Instead he gripped the evidence bag in his hand tighter than before and closed his eyes briefly.

"No, Dallas. I have to tell her. I owe her...I owe her that much." Jack said, his voice threatening to break. He cleared his throat roughly and took a deep breath, gathering whatever strength he had left in order to be there for Carly.

Dallas squeezed Jack's shoulder once more before stepping away. Opening the door, Jack took one step inside the interrogation room and froze. Looking around in shock he found himself staring into the face of not only his expectant wife but those of his children and his aunt.

"What...what are you doing here?" Jack asked, his eyes darting from one kid to another as he tried to keep his panic from showing.

Instinctively he shoved the evidence bag within the confines of his Oakdale PD jacket before any of them could see it.

"Um, Aunt Emma took us for milkshakes at Al's and a couple cadets came in to get coffee. We overheard them say that you guys found Emmy and..."

"...then one of the officers recognized us and said we could come down to the station to wait with Mom." J.J. interrupted, finishing Parker's initial explanation.

Before Jack could say anything, Sage jumped up from where she was sitting in a chair between Emma and Carly.

"I knew you'd find her, Daddy! I knew it!" Sage said, throwing her arms around Jack's waist and bouncing on her heels in excitement. Pulling away she looked up at him with trusting hazel eyes. "Where is she?"

Jack didn't answer, but instead sought out Carly's gaze. She sat rigidly in her chair, her face indecipherable but her stare was taking in every move he made.

"Daddy, where's...?" Sage started again only to be gently pulled away and to the side by Emma, who firmly shushed her when the pre-teen started to protest.

The older woman started to usher all the kids to the door but they dug their heels in, in silent protest, refusing to budge until they knew where their baby sister was. The sound of Carly's voice had everyone looking her way.

"Where is she, Jack?" Carly had risen to stand and was now only about a foot away from him.

"Carly..." Jack said, his voice deep with emotion but he stopped abruptly.

He knew what he had to say, however everything that he had rehearsed in the 20 minute ride from hell had vanished in the face of those blue eyes he loved so much.

But as he looked up again into Carly's tense face, Jack's breath caught in his chest. Carly's eyes drifted pointedly to the place where the evidence bag was now burning a hole against his chest and in that moment Jack knew that he hadn't fooled her for one second.

From the moment he had entered the room without their baby girl clutched protectively and lovingly in his arms, Carly had suspected what he was going to say. Nevertheless, the maternal instinct inside of her screamed out loudly in denial. She began backing away from Jack with her eyes narrowed and entire body trembling.

"No," Carly said, shaking her head. "Don't you dare! Don't you dare say that my baby's dead. Don't you goddamn dare say that, Jack Snyder!"

"Carly, it's… they found her hat."

As he offered up the facts that he had, Jack kept eye contact with her the entire time even as she backed herself up against the edge of the interrogation table.

"It…it was just…just laying there in that bag and at first...I didn't...I didn't know what it was when Margo handed it to me. But then I really looked and I knew. I just knew..."

Jack stopped suddenly, the pain and tears choking away the rest of his words. He looked down and noticed that at some point he had taken the evidence bag out of his jacket and was twisting it in his hands.

At that moment he didn't care that he was a cop or that it was evidence; he just couldn't stand to have that thing anywhere near him any longer. Jack gave it a disgusted look before tossing it away to slide across the top of the nearby table. Nausea swept over him when he saw Carly's eyes follow the plastic bag's movement like a hawk. It stopped just before it fell off the opposite far end of the table; resting precariously on the black rubber edge.

"Dad…," Parker said softly, causing Jack to wince when he remembered that they were not alone in the room. "The grave…"

Parker stopped and swallowed the bile that rose up into his throat as he even said those words.

He took a shaky breath and tried to finish, "Was there a…was it…? I mean, _are you sure_?"

"They wouldn't let me near it. I…I don't even remember how I got back to the station," Jack admitted, closing his eyes briefly as he once again tried to recall the moments after the discovery. The memories were fuzzy, like he was watching a movie with dirty glasses and earplugs in.

"I do remember…I know they said...I think it was Margo who told me...there was a...the grave wasn't empty."

Despite her initial outburst, Carly had been so still since Jack had given his horrific news that when she suddenly began to move everyone was startled and looked over at her.

During the last bit of conversation, her eyes had never left the small bloodied teddy bear hat that lay on the table. Stiffly she moved to the other end of the table where it lay and stopped directly in front of it. Noiselessly, she reached out to brush the plastic bag with gentle fingertips in what was almost a reverent stroke. However, it was enough to upset the already unstable balance of the bag and it slipped from her touch to fall upon the interview room floor.

This time her eyes did not follow the hat's path, only stared vacantly at the spot where the bag had lain seconds ago, her fingertips still outstretched and hovering above the table's glossy surface.

"He did this, didn't he?" Carly asked.

Carly's voice was so bitter that Jack felt himself shudder as a chill ran down his spine.

"Carly…" Jack whispered.

She raised her eyes to look into his face and he felt something tear inside of him at the void staring back at him.

"James Stenbeck killed our baby, Jack." Carly said. "Why? What could he possibly gain by hurting her?"

Her voice was soft and begged him for an answer; for anything to explain the reason for the intense pain that was threatening to tear her apart from the inside out.

At her question, Jack couldn't help the tears that flowed down his face. He had asked himself that same thing every waking moment since Emmy had been taken from them. How could he give her a good enough answer when he still wanted one himself?

"I don't…I don't know." Jack said, "I wish to God that I did, but I don't."

Carly moved unexpectedly, throwing Jack off balance from where he had been hovering by her side. She started for the door and had barely gotten her fingers around the handle when Jack covered her hand.

"Carly, where are you going?"

"Let go of the door, Jack. I have to get out of here. I have to go find my baby." Carly said, her eyes staring straight ahead at the black raised lettering on the frosted window of the door.

"Carly, you can't…" Jack trailed off, shaking his head. He placed his hands on Carly's upper arms, trying to pull her back towards the chair at the end of the table. "Baby, please…come sit down."

"No, _Jack_, I can't sit down! My baby..._our_ baby is fine! She's out there...she is out there waiting..._waiting_...for us to come get her." Carly pleaded with him, her hands clutching desperately at his jacket. "Jack, please..._please_ let me go find our baby."

"I can't, Carly. She's gone." Jack said, pulling her close and pressing a kiss to her curls as he brokenly echoed his words. "She's gone, Honey."

The way his voice broke on the loving nickname and the touch of his lips against her hair acted like a switch that had been flipped and suddenly Carly couldn't get enough air in her lungs. Her vision blurred again and the room began to shrink around her. The buzzing noise that had started softly in her ears was now a roaring ocean. She vaguely acknowledged the sound as her panicked blood rushing about in her veins as she began to hyperventilate. Her heart began pounding and if anyone asked her she would swear that she could literally feel her soul being torn out of her.

"No!" Carly yelled out, twisting away from Jack's body as he held her in his arms.

She managed to get one hand around the door handle before she realized that Jack wasn't loosening his hold on her. Without warning, Carly started fighting wildly against Jack like it was her one chance at survival. When Jack's embrace tightened around her the terror filled bubble that had been growing inside her chest burst, releasing itself as a continuous jumble of sobs and barely coherent begging.

"No, Jack, let go of me! You don't understand! I have to find her! Please, Jack, I can't...I can't lose my baby! Oh God, _please_ let me go..."

When it looked like Carly was about to crumple to the ground, J.J. found that he couldn't stand it any longer. The sensitive teenager called out to his mother and moved forward, wanting nothing more than to try and ease her pain.

Carly, for her part, didn't even acknowledge his presence as an agonized scream tore from her throat and she suddenly reared back to land a powerful kick to the door in front of her. But the sound of his younger son's voice had Jack's head swinging his way. By the look on his face it was clear that he had just remembered again that they were all there, witnessing this.

Glancing to his left, Jack felt his heart twist at the sight of Sage pressed against the wall. Her face was frozen in a mixture of shock, worry, and fear as she watched Carly's actions.

After prying Carly's hand off of the door handle one finger at a time, Jack managed to hold onto the hellcat of a woman in his arms long enough to back away from the door and create a space for them to slip by.

"Emma, for God's sake, get them out of here!" Jack yelled to his aunt. "Go find Margo and stay with her until I tell you otherwise!"

Seizing the slim opportunity Emma hustled a protesting J.J. and a terrified Sage out of the room as quickly as she could. Parker, however, hesitated at the door.

Shaking his head at Parker, Jack repeated his order to leave the room. Jack knew that he didn't have much time as his wife's cries were now alternating between frantic requests for him to let her go and threats of bodily harm if he didn't.

As soon as he was safely on the other side, Parker heard the door's lock being engaged. Almost immediately, the crash of things breaking and being slammed around echoed inside the room letting them all know that Jack had finally released his hold on Carly.

A scream that would haunt them all for days to come was accompanied by the unmistakable sound of the large interrogation table being overturned. The intense amount of utter pain and fury in his mother's voice caused Parker to stare in horror at the door. A water glass suddenly smashed against the small window, inches from his face. Even though it didn't break through the thicker glass it still caused to him to jump back in shock.

Stumbling backwards blindly, Parker tried to get as far away from the room as possible, as _quickly_ as possible.

A second glass hit the closed blinds of the interrogation window, this time creating a spider web design when it found its mark against the larger pane of glass. Bumping into another officer's desk, Parker reached out to grab the edge. His stomach rolled over at the knowledge that it was his mother creating the destruction inside the room in front of him and that he was powerless to take away the reason why.

The sound of quiet sobbing drew Parker's attention. He sighed when he saw Sage sitting down at a desk chair while Emma stood next to her, stroking her hair and trying to calm her down. Sage just shook her head and then threw herself into Emma's embrace, sobbing harder as everything began to sink in.

Just a few feet away J.J. was leaning back against a desk, bent over at the waist with his head hanging down around his knees. He banged his palms against the side of the desk once, then twice for good measure before curling his hands into fists so tight that his knuckles were white. His eyes were closed, his face was ashen, and his entire body trembled as he muttered incoherently under his breath.

A hand on his shoulder made Parker recoil again and he looked up and to his left to find Margo staring back at him in sympathy.

Parker looked around the rest of the bullpen and found that his family and Margo were the only ones left in the room. He instantly knew that Margo had chased the other officers out to give his family the privacy they needed and sent her a grateful look.

While she had never been a champion of Carly Tenney Snyder, over the years they had come to something that oddly bordered the lines of mutual respect and even friendship...on occasion. But even if they hadn't, Margo was still a mother and wouldn't have wished the pain she knew that Carly was going through on even her worst enemy.

For the next few minutes they listened to the annihilation of the interrogation room, only to be stunned with the abrupt silence that followed.

"Is it...is it over?" Parker wondered out loud, the worry in his voice tinged with the same fear that had been written so much more clearly on his sibling's faces.

Margo sighed and tore her eyes away from the interrogation room and towards the rigid young man next to her. She knew that it had fallen to her to make an attempt to explain the unexplainable in order to help him understand what had prompted this primal display of Carly's.

"When your mother had you, Parker, we weren't friends. To be honest, we were barely on speaking terms unless it couldn't be helped." Margo began talking.

She just gave a soft smile when Parker looked at her in confusion at her choice of words and continued.

"But even _I_ saw the way she loved you. This woman who, in my opinion, was one of the most selfish people on Earth, loved you with a fierceness and at the same time a tenderness that I have rarely seen in the way that _any_ mother loves their child. You were her world, Parker."

"And then that world went on to expand to Sage, and then J.J., and eventually Emmy. But no matter the circumstances, no matter the biology, your mother...she still loved each one of you with that same balance of fierceness and tenderness that I saw begin with you. Your mother...she gave you a piece of her soul, Parker. Each and everyone one of you kids."

"And today..." Parker said, trailing off as he began to grasp what Margo was trying to say.

"The loss of a child...especially one as young as Emmy and the way it happened..." Margo trailed off and then started again. "It is something that no parent should ever have to go through. Yes, Parker, today your mom lost something that can never be replaced."

"Will she...will she be okay?" Parker asked, ducking his head at the absurdity of his question but not taking it back.

"She'll recover...but no, she will never be the same," Margo said, softly but honestly.

Before Parker could respond, the door to the interrogation room opened up and two somber parents slowly walked out. Carly's eyes swept over them all and after closing them briefly, she took Jack's hand as they approached. Their faces were a malgamation of emotions, mainly resignation and of grief but there was also something else that he wasn't sure anyone could define completely. The closest he could come up with was shared sense of comfort that only one soulmate could give to another soulmate.

In a moment Parker knew that no one needed to be privy to what had happened beyond the interrogation room door. The sanctity of what had been said between the two emerging adults wasn't just between two parents who were grieving but two people who were connected in a way that Parker could only dream of having one day with someone else.

Sage finally looked up from her burrow in Emma's side to see her mother coming towards her. A brief flash of apprehension crossed her young features and she bit her bottom lip. But at the sight of Carly dropping Jack's hand to open her arms to her, Sage jumped up to rush into her embrace.

"I'm sorry," Carly said, her red rimmed eyes sweeping over her children even as she held Sage close.

"Mom, don't..." J.J. said, shaking his head rapidly. He did not want to hear his mom try and explain away the anger and pain that she had every right to feel. The same anger and pain they were _all_ feeling.

"No, J.J., I need to tell you that I'm sorry you saw...and heard...what I did in that room." Carly said, running a hand over Sage's hair as the girl shuddered against her.

"We understand, Mom. Really." Parker said and reached out to gently hold onto his mother's hand. "It's going to be okay. We love you and we're a family. Families stick together when it matters the most. Right, Dad?"

Jack looked over his eldest son with sad but proud eyes and nodded.

"We'll get through this...together." Jack promised and the kids nodded, believing him with everything they had left inside. "But for now...it's okay to just hurt."

Carly, mentally and emotionally exhausted, leaned against Jack as she pulled Sage closer to her. The boys gravitated towards the three of them and soon they were all in a huddle near one of the small desks in the back of the pen.

Emma smiled sadly at Margo who nodded back, before patting the older woman on the arm gently. Reaching over to another nearby desk, Margo dialed an extension and gave a quiet order over the phone.

Soon the officers began filtering back in, slowly but as unobtrusively as possible to allow the small family time to adjust before leaving. Soon the quiet bustle of the bullpen surrounded them and while it was an odd feeling, they all reveled in the sort of comfort the familiar sounds gave them.

Emma was about to suggest they all go stay at the farm tonight when the slamming of a distant door reverberated throughout the room.

A moment later, Officer Adam Tyler came skidding around the corner and burst into the bullpen area. Coming to a halt only a few feet away, he waved an enthusiastic hand at Margo. Despite only taking one step closer the young officer once again had to stop to bend over at the knees, panting hard. He shook his head as he tried to catch his breath, before standing straight again and waving a piece of paper above his head.

"It's...not...her!"

Instantaneous silence filled the room.

"What are you talking about Tyler?" Margo demanded, even as she threw Jack and Carly a glance.

"I just... ran...from the...coroner's...office." Adam panted out.

"All _twelve_ blocks?" Margo asked, her eyes widening. "Why didn't you take your squad car?"

"Didn't...occur...to me...at...the time...ma'am." Adam said, shrugging his shoulders while wheezing slightly. After taking another couple of deep breaths, he found he could once again talk without pausing. "I just knew that I had to get here to give you this."

With a wide grin on his face Officer Tyler walked forward and thrust the paper at Margo. He started to speak to his chief of police but couldn't help but instead focus his attention on the stunned family in front of him.

"The bod..." He glanced at the kids and then back to Jack and Carly. "Dr. Richardson says that when he started doing the dental portion of the autopsy he noticed that 'she' already has fully developed back molars. That means 'she' is at least already a year old. Therefore it _can't _be her!"

"Are you...are you sure?" Emma spoke up, gripping on to one of J.J.'s arm as she stepped forward.

"The blood type doesn't match either," Margo said, causing all eyes to swing in her direction. She looked up from the paper she had been reading intensely with clear relief in her eyes. She handed the report back to Officer Tyler and grinned at them. "It's not her. It's not Emmy."

A moan of pure euphoria escaped Carly followed by a renewal of sobs and vocal prayers in the direction of the heavens, this time of gratitude. Jack immediately gathered her into his arms as he felt his own tears run down his cheeks as he whispered loudly his own thanks. The relief he was feeling now rivaled the fear and anger he had felt only a couple hours ago, causing his body to shake.

A loud cheer had gone up througout the bullpen and it took several long minutes for it to calm down again as hugs and handshakes were passed around. It wasn't nearly as good as having Emmy back with them again, but the news had not only revived the small family's hope but that of the officer's looking for her, Rosanna, and Johnny.

As the din finally settled down, Carly glanced over to see her oldest son standing nearby with a frown on his face.

"Parker...what's wrong?" She asked, taking a step towards him and reaching out to place a hand on his cheek.

"I'm happy it's not Emmy, Mom, you _know_ that. It's just..."

"It's just what, Baby?" Carly said, gently urging her son's troubled thoughts out of his head when he paused.

"Why?" Parker asked, his voice cracking. "I don't understand why someone would do all this? _How_ someone could do all this! What does he want from us? "

As happy as he was to hear that it wasn't his baby sister lying in that medical examiner's office he was having a hard time just breezing past everything else. Somewhere out there was man who seemed hellbent on destroying his family and endangering the lives of so many others that he cared about. And he didn't understand why. All he knew was that he couldn't get certain things out of his mind and they were all swirling around inside of his head like a giant whirlpool.

The look on his father's face as he realized what he was going to have to tell them in that room; the sight of his girlfriend lying in a hospital with a ventilator hanging out of her mouth because it was the only thing keeping her lungs functioning; the sound of his sister sobbing with fear and heartache that no eleven year old should ever face; his brother mumbling in a daze he thought that one more violent act had claimed another member of his family.

The scream of his mother when she thought she had lost her child.

"He's a sick man, Parker," Margo said, coming over to join Carly. She placed a hand on the teenager's thin shoulder and brought him back to focus on the here and now. "I don't know if we'll ever get a true reason for why he is playing this sick game."

"That's not a good enough answer," J.J. said, catching his brother's eye. He nodded when Parker gave him a half smile. Though Parker had been the one to speak up, he had voiced the thoughts of everyone in the room.

"No. No, it's not." Jack agreed coming to pull J.J. into a one armed hug and resting his head against his son's lighter colored hair. "But it's the only one we have right now."

They were all silent, the jubilation from moments ago fading into determination to catch the man taunting them and ending this once and for all.

"Um, ma'am? Ma'am!"

A small but determined voice broke through the small din of the bullpen and all eyes turned to look at a young female cadet standing up at the switchboard.

"What is it, Kaminski?"

Cadet Haley Kaminski motioned towards the phones and swallowed hard, looking directly at Jack this time with her face drained of color.

"It's him. He...he says wants to talk to Detective Snyder."

All eyes exchanged looks before Margo barked out the order to have Kaminski stall for as long as she could without making it obvious.

In what seemed to be a matter of moments, the tech unit was in the bullpen identifying which phone line to which they would attach the tracer and calls were being made to find the department hostage negotiator just in case he was needed.

Not more than forty seconds later Jack was seated at his desk with one hand settled on the receiver. His jaw clenched in anticipation, watching the tech unit's lead officer in order to get approval for when he could get on the line.

From a chair that had been positioned directly at his side, Carly's head come to rest on his shoulder. Without looking down at her he felt one of her small, but strong, hands slide into his unoccupied one. She gave it a firm and loving squeeze in a silent show of support. Glancing over, Jack saw the tech guy settle in at the central tracing machine and nod his head in his direction.

Jack kissed Carly's forehead, took a deep breath...

...and picked up the phone.


	16. The Effect of Being Taunted

**Author's (Brief) Note: This chapter is dedicated to the man who played James Stenbeck so incredibly wonderfully for all those years on As The World Turns. No one else could make me put my fingers over my eyes in suspense one minute and laugh out loud at his one liners in the next. You truly were soap-villian gold. You were a fantastic actor and by all accounts an even more amazing man.**

God bless and **RIP Anthony Herrera.**

  
Family Imperfect  
by Jaclyn Parker

_"When you are surrounded by four people,  
one of them smiling, taunting, demanding, terrorizing,  
you don't have a complete grasp or perfect vision."  
~__Bernard H. Goetz  
_************************************************************************

The entire bullpen was silent as they watched Jack exhale slowly in preparation to talk with the man on the other line.

"This is Jack Snyder," Jack said tensely, his grip flexing and un-flexing around the neck of the phone.

At the low growling undertone of his voice, Carly slowly rubbed small circles of support on his lower back. Jack nodded in understanding and took another breath in order to try and reign in his emotions.

His eyes narrowed as he listened to the voice on the other end and glanced over at Hank, the lead tech man who was listening in on a set of headphones. Hank looked back at Jack and shrugged. He flipped a switch on a massive keyboard-like panel on his lap and then nodded to Jack.

Jack took the phone away from his ear and hitting a button on the base, hung up.

"That's better." A voice hissed from the speaker on the phone base. "Now I can hear everyone and they can hear me."

While the voice sounded undeniably like James Stenbeck's there was a continuous snake like hiss whenever he spoke that made it seem more robotic then human.

"What the hell is wrong with your voice?" Dallas asked and winced when Jack shot him a glare.

He mouthed an apology and went to stand next to Margo who muttered something in his ear. Dallas nodded and then moved to stand in a far corner of the bullpen, before pulling out his cell phone and dialing an unseen number.

While Jack was curious as to what he was doing a response from the phone caught his attention again.

"I apologize for the oddity of my tone, but this fun new little gadget that I bought unfortunately messes with the sound waves of my voice. I just think of it as added insurance."

"Insurance?" Jack asked, frowning at the phone.

"I believe they call it a scrambler in those delightful little spy movies. Whatever it is, it is certainly fun to play with," the voice replied, a definite chuckle following his words. "Did you really think I wouldn't know you would be trying to trace this call, Detective? Surely you give me more credit than that."

"Look, this is getting us nowhere, Stenbeck. Why don't you just tell us what you want? We can work something out!" Jack said, frustration mounting.

"Tsk, tsk, always so impatient. You'll find out in good time. All in good time." the voice said and Jack shook his head.

Worry for Rosanna, Johnny, and especially his baby daughter was growing with every passing second he talked to this mad man.

"You said earlier that we're playing a game. Every game has to have rules. What are yours?" Jack asked, trying to get any information out of Stenbeck in order to make sense of this whole thing.

Immediately after the question came out of his mouth, he knew that it was futile. Stenbeck had all the cards and they could do nothing until he was ready to tell them something or if he somehow messed up.

"Very good, Jack. Every game does have to have rules. Just like every lesson in life. You'll learn mine as we go."

It was unbelievable how much smugness the man managed to convey, even with the maddening alteration of his voice. Any, and all, control Carly had been executing finally snapped in light of it and she jumped up from her chair. She leaned forward, glaring at the phone, and gripped the edge of the desk so tightly she broke a nail.

"This isn't a game, you asshole! Those are innocent lives you're messing with! Now, where's my daughter?"

Jack quickly put his hands on Carly's shoulders, pulling her back to sit into the chair. He could feel his heart pounding as he frantically tried to figure out a way to lessen the damage that she might have caused with her outburst. But instead of the anger Jack was expecting, a long laugh sounded out.

"Oh, Carly, still as feisty as ever. I guess it runs in the family. Your sister displayed the same spirit, at first, but she quickly learned her lesson."

A smart-ass remark sprung to her lips but then his words caught up with her. Carly swallowed hard and fought off the large chill that soaked through her bones as she spoke, softly and hesitantly this time.

"Rosanna? What...what did you do to her?"

Jack again placed his hands on her shoulders but this time she shrugged him off.

"Stenbeck, I want to talk to her! I want to talk to my sister! Proof of life! That's what it's called in those fun little spy movies, right?" Carly rambled on, mimicking his words from earlier.

"Hmmm, unfortunately, she's...indisposed at the moment. That's what happens when you don't play by the rules."

The room went deathly silent at his words and Carly finally stumbled back into the awaiting chair, as she tried to fight back a wave of panic. As if the thought of something happening to her sister wasn't terrifying enough, if Rosanna was hurt...or worse...who did that leave to protect the children from this sociopath?

Jack placed a kiss to the top of her head, closing his eyes as he tried to push away his own ugly visions.

In the midst of the silence, the doors to the police station swung open, revealing Paul and Barbara Ryan swiftly entering into the bullpen. A moment later, Craig rushed through too but stopped in his tracks at the large group around the phone. Margo hurriedly waved them over and she received several odd glances from her fellow officers.

Jack, however, understood why they were here, especially Barbara. Not only was Johnny her grandson, but Barbara always seemed to be James Stenbeck's greatest weakness. Maybe she would be able to talk some sense into him or at least get him to give something away that Jack or the others would be able to use to their advantage.

Jack smiled at her as she came closer to the desk and she gave a small one back. It was obvious she was nervous but the rod of steel that went up Barbara Ryan's back at the threat of anything to her family was sure and steady.

A crackle of static came through followed by a small noise of impatient shifting on the other line before the voice sounded out again.

"What? Does no one want to speak to me anymore?"

The moment of peace passed and Jack, with a frown, pointed to the phone. Exchanging a look with her son Barbara nodded her understanding, swallowed quickly, and spoke.

"James? James, it's me."

There was a long pause and then a low chuckle drifted over them from the speaker.

"_Hello, Barbara_."

The voice might have been slightly distorted but the all too familiar words still had a visible effect on the woman. She stood frozen to the spot for a moment, her eyes glazing over as a shudder ripped through her.

Surprisingly it wasn't Paul who quickly stepped up to place his arm around Barbara's shoulder but Craig. She stiffened for a moment but then just accepted the comfort for what it was.

"James, please...why are you doing this?" Barbara's voice held steady regardless of the fact that she was shaking so hard it was visible to the naked eye.

"Ah, sometimes the most complex things have the simplest of reasons. Isn't it obvious yet to any of you? Especially you, my dear?"

"Nothing is obvious to us, James, except that you need help. Please stop this now, before it ends badly for you."

"Before it ends badly for _me? _When have you ever cared what this town has done to me? Every chance you got you threw me away if it served your own purpose even when the deeds that were done were done in _your_ name."

The voice on the phone suddenly had a harsh undertone and Barbara blinked in the abrupt change of direction.

"You hate Carly Snyder, Barbara. You have always hated her. Why should you care about her child now? And we all know there is no love lost between you and Ms. Cabot. How do these 'decent' people know that you're not working _with _me? It wouldn't be the first time, would it?"

Barbara felt an old panic wash over her as the voice hurled out accusations and suspicions. Despite everyone knowing that she had nothing to do with any of this, the overwhelming need to defend herself reared its ugly head, as it often did when she felt cornered. Ironically, this usually happened when she _was_ involved with James Stenbeck.

"You have Johnny too, James. You have my grandson!"

"Hmmm, that's right, I do." He murmured as if just realizing that himself. "Very well then, answer me this, Barbara. If I gave Johnny back, would you still care if I held on to the others?"

A person could have heard a pin drop in the room as the words left the phone.

Every instinct in Barbara screamed at her to say yes – to say anything that would get her to be able to hold her grandson in her arms again and forget this nightmare ever happened. And then she made the mistake of looking up...and into Carly's eyes.

What Stenbeck had said earlier was true: Carly Tenney Snyder and Barbara Ryan would never be friends. Yes, there had been instances where their mutual disdain for one another had been put on hold but those truces were very few and _very_ far between. But the eyes that gazed back at her were not those of an enemy but of a mother who desperately wanted her child back and it rocked her to her core.

Barbara gave Carly a small supportive smile and relief that flooded the younger woman's face. However, even though she was going to deny his claim, Barbara never got around to giving it because the voice on the other line spoke first.

"Would you like a little help in deciding, Barbara?"

There was the sound of a large door opening and the sound of two people breathing was heard.

"It's true, she's right through there. Go ahead." A low murmur caught their ear before a small voice replaced the deeper one that had been speaking all night.

"Hello? Gr...Gramma?"

The same low snake-like hiss surrounded them but the voice was once more undeniable.

"Johnny? Oh Sweetheart, are you alright?"

"I'm scared, Gramma! I wanna go home!" Johnny replied and Barbara pressed a hand to her mouth to cover the sound of her gasp.

Jack knew it was tough to hear and God only knew how he'd be if he could talk that way with his daughter but they needed something, anything, to catch a break. He turned towards Craig and waved him at the phone. The man nodded, immediately catching on to Jack's way of thinking and jumped in to talk.

"Johnny? Johnny, it's Daddy!" Craig said, transferring Barbara to Paul as he stepped closer to the desk.

"Daddy?" Johnny's voice was hesitant.

"Yes, son, it's me. I know you're scared but we have to know you're alright. Can you tell me if you, Emmy, and Rosanna are okay?"

There was a long pause but soon the little boy was rambling a mile a minute.

"I'm okay but 'Sanna's hurt and she won't wake up and Emmy is sad and crying a lot but my funny faces aren't helping and I think she wants 'Sanna to wake up too because she sings to her but I don't know the song and...and...I don't like this man, Daddy and I don't wanna stay here! Please come get me! Please? Daddy, I wanna go home now!"

"Johnny, I know...I know, son." Craig said, trying to sooth the frantic child. He opened his mouth again but was cut off.

"Okay, Johnny, that's enough. Time to go. Say bye-bye!"

"No! No! I wanna go home! I want my Daddy! Daddy! DADDY!" Johnny yelled out repeatedly and they heard a slight scuffle.

"It's going to be okay, Johnny. I promise." Craig said, his voice threatening to break as he listened to his son's sobs.

Johnny's cries got farther and farther away until finally the slamming of the door from earlier echoed faintly and his voice disappeared all together.

A moment later, he was back the same chuckle echoing throughout the station.

"I'm sorry about that. Children, you know, have no sense of propriety. Poor little Johnny was getting too distraught and he might have said something that I couldn't allow so it was time for him to say goodnight."

All the things Johnny said whirling around in her mind coupled with the little boys crying, Carly felt another tantrum coming and knew she couldn't stop it if she tried.

"You goddamn son of a bitch. Where are they? What do you want from us?"

The maniacal laughter that met her outburst stopped them all in their tracks.

"My dear Carly, as of right now I have almost everything I've ever wanted. Now it's your turn for a question. It's past ten o'clock, have you even wished your husband a happy birthday yet? Because I have."

The phone clicked off and everyone turned to look at Jack, who stared down at the phone with a puzzled expression.

"It's not..." Jack glanced over to the large tear-away day calendar that they kept pinned to the wall near the precinct clock and his eyes widened.

There, in large black letters and numbers, read "March 20th"; it was indeed Jack's birthday and he had forgotten all about it.

"Oh, Jack..." Carly whispered and he shook his head, pulling her close.

"Stop, it's fine. It's the last thing on _any_ of our minds." Jack said.

"Dad?" J.J. spoke up and Jack looked at him. "What did he mean when he said he wished you a happy birthday?"

"He probably just meant that...the whole thing with the grave, right?" Parker said, shuddering even as the words left his mouth.

"Yeah, I guess..." Jack said, pushing away the images from earlier that hovered just over the horizon. God, was it really only a few hours since they had been in their own personal hell? It seemed like a lifetime ago.

"Actually, Sir, I don't think so." Officer Adam Tyler said, shifting on his feet by Margo.

"What are you talking about?" Jack asked.

"Um, well, there was a present for you earlier, Sir. I just assumed it was from Carly and I was going to give it to you when...everything happened and then I guess it just got lost in the..."

At Jack's glare Adam trailed off and pointed over to his desk.

"Why...why don't I just go grab it from my desk and...then...and uh..."

"Yeah, good plan, Officer Tyler." Jack said sarcastically, ignoring Carly's quick jab to the ribs.

He didn't care that his tone was unnecessary; he was tired of Stenbeck's bullshit and was in no mood to deal with anything else tonight. But unfortunately, it seemed it was never ending.

Finally, after what seemed like hours but was only a few moments, Adam returned with the "gift" and silently handed it to Jack.

An ordinary manila envelope had been wrapped in bright red and orange shiny wrapping paper with cartoon black .9mm guns all over it. It was all accented with a giant yellow bow that covered almost the entire envelope.

"You thought _I _wrapped that?" Carly asked, clearly affronted at even the idea that she would do something that gaudy.

"Yes, because that is _clearly_ the big issue right now, Carly," Barbara said, the snipe back in her voice now that she had properly had time to gather herself together.

Carly glared at her but her lips twitched upward on their own accord. Barbara's did the same, acknowledging the familiar banter and the safety in it, before they looked away from each other.

Unwrapping the envelope with the utmost care in case of evidence, Jack finally got to the "prize" and nearly threw up all over again.

It was an 8x10 glossy, black and white photograph in which only three subjects were pictured as they sat around a small picnic table in the park. Each one's face was circled in red permanent marker with a word written over their head.

"Eenie, meanie, miney..."

As Jack read the words aloud, Carly's eyes found the person for which word was written for:

Parker...J.J...Sage.

"Oh my, God." Emma gasped out and placed a hand over her heart. She tried to hold Sage to her but the child wiggled away from her embrace and turned to the only person whose comfort she wanted.

"Mom?"

Sage's voice was hesitant and held completely undisguised fear.

Carly opened her arms immediately and she felt her oldest daughter fly into them. "It's okay, Baby."

As she hugged her, Carly felt Sage shake her head against her chest, murmuring quietly.

"No more, Mom. _Please_, no more."

Carly pulled her close and buried her face in her daughter's hair; the daughter who, emotionally, was so much like her. There was only so much this poor eleven year old girl could take tonight and the blatant threat to her own well being was unmistakably about to be the breaking point.

And while neither of the teenaged boys would admit they needed the same reassurance their little sister was receiving, it was not a trick of the mind that they had positioned themselves well within their father's personal space. Jack went to stand in between his sons, a hand on each of their shoulders in lieu of a comforting hug.

"Maybe the trace picked something up?" Paul said, speaking up for the first time since entering the station. In fact, until now Jack and the others had quite forgotten he was there.

A young tech agent who had been looking at his readouts from the nearby table now silently handed them to Hank. The older man looked over them and throwing his headphones down, cursed loudly. He looked their way and shook his head.

"Whoever this is, they used at least eight different cell phone towers and five land lines in _three _different states to re-route the call. Even with the FBI helping, it could take weeks to figure out the origin."

"Dammit, we don't have weeks!" Jack fought control of his emotions and since they seemed just out of his grasp he decided to just damn well take control of everything else.

"Okay, we need to start at the beginning. There's something we're missing, I'm sure of it."

After thinking a moment, he turned to Dallas.

"Dallas, I want you to take this new evidence and go check on that note at the Chicago FBI building. I'll call a couple of my buddies there and let them know you're coming. If they haven't found anything useful yet, stand next to them breathing down their necks until they do. We need something to go on and I _know_ this guy isn't smarter than us."

Dallas nodded and practically growled out, "Damn straight."

"Officer Tyler, I want you back at the coroner's lab to see if there's anything else they found out. Maybe there is something about that other little girl that might give us a clue."

Adam barely blinked before he was gone to do as told.

When he turned to give order to the next person in his line of vision Jack suddenly froze, finding himself face to face with his chief of police.

However, instead of being angry at the way Jack was ordering around her officers, Margo had stood back and watched proudly. _This_ was the Jack Snyder she knew and cared about; this go-get 'em man who would stop at nothing to find the bad guy. She found herself mentally flashing back to the day Hal had introduced her to the wide-eyed new recruit from the FBI. God love him, Hal had seen something in Jack that had told him he would do great things and she knew that right now, their old boss and beloved friend had a firm guiding hand on Jack's shoulder.

"I've got it from here, Jack. Take your family home for the night." Margo said and when he looked like he was about to protest, she shook her head.

She stepped closer and inclined her head for him to do the same. Stepping away from the boys he frowned at her.

"Jack, your kids are exhausted and so are you and your wife. And I'm not talking just physically." Margo said, leaning so that she was speaking almost directly into his ear. She smiled sadly when Jack's eyes drifted shut in silent agreement." I would also imagine you and Carly have a lot to discuss about what comes next after this..."gift" you've been given."

Jack's eyes opened up and sought out the woman who owned his heart, body, and soul.

Feeling his gaze on her Carly quickly caught the eye of her husband. It was one of those connections that they had always somehow managed to have and that had only gotten stronger through their rediscovery of each other in the past few years.

After a moment of just taking strength from each other, Carly nodded slightly in the direction of the door. Jack nodded back and after a couple more quick instructions and details, they shuffled the emotionally drained children out the door.

As they drove home, all three of the children fell asleep not more than five minutes away from the station. In the silence and darkness of the car, Carly's hand sought out Jack's and gripped it tight when they came together over the middle console.

Despite the revulsion and horror they had initially felt at Stenbeck's threat to their other children, those emotions had slowly seeped away only to be replaced by icy determination.

And they both knew exactly what they had to do...no matter how much they were going to hate doing it.


	17. Sacrifices To Ensure Safety

**Author's Note: Hey everyone! Just a few things and then you can get on to the story (that's if you are even bothering to read this anyways LOL).**

**First, I know it's been a long time since I updated and I wouldn't blame any of you for bailing on this story. Unfortunately, that's exactly what my muse did even though I have the entire story completely mapped out on a seperate timeline. I would go to start writing and everything would just come out wrong and I would get frustrated and give up. BUT about two weeks ago, something amazing happened. A group of the best people I "know" over at the Carly and Jack forum and on Twitter decided to do something called 12 Days of CarJack Christmas. (If you haven't seen any of the mvids that we did here is a link to the playlist on YouTube **http:/ www. youtube. com/ playlist?list=PLC2F23FA2C8EE6E14 **) Now, whether it was seeing everyone suddenly come alive again on the board for a while or just the enthusiasm of all the CarJack love being vidded and discussed, my muse has come back full force. In fact, I have already written the next THREE chapters and they are uploaded and ready to go.**

**Here's my plan/goal: To post a new chapter every Friday afternoon/evening which, if my chapter count stays where it is right now at about 18-20 more chapters, would take this story into May (yay sweeps again). I hope you guys stick around for the ride and I would love to hear from you if you are still reading this.**

**Okay, now...go read and ENJOY!**  
**~JP  
**

Family Imperfect  
by Jaclyn Parker

_"Those things which are precious are saved only by sacrifice."  
__~David Kenyon Webster  
_

* * *

"No!"

"You have to!"

"_No_!"

"Please, sweetheart, you have to understand..."

"I'm _not_ going!"

"Sage..."

"Princess..."

"Don't '_princess'_ me, Daddy! I mean it! I'm not going!"

"First of all, young lady, watch your tone," Carly said, frowning at the pouting pre-teen in front of her. "And second of all, it's just until everything calms down here and it's safe for you to..."

"It's safe now! We have cops all over the place, even at school, and Daddy's stupid FBI people call all the time to check on us!" Sage interrupted.

"Sage..." Carly tried to get another word in edgewise but the young girl was too fired up to slow down now.

"And I don't understand why _I_ have to go but Parker and J.J. don't! Is it because they're boys?" Sage asked. There was an ugly sneer on her face as she gave a pointed look in Jack's direction.

"No, that is _not_ why, Sage. The boys are older than you and..." Jack said, calmly even though his patience with his daughter was wearing awfully thin right about then.

"Oh my god, that's so not fair! Okay, so maybe I'm not sixteen but I'm not a baby anymore!" Sage added angrily.

She stomped her foot in emphasis which, admittedly, did not help validate her last statement.

"Then stop acting like one, you spoiled brat!" Parker yelled at her in frustration.

He shifted in his spot where he was leaning against the fireplace mantel and glared at his sister.

"Whoa, hey! Not helping!" Jack said, pointing a finger sternly at his eldest son.

Parker knew that, of course, but after having watched his younger sister argue with their parents for the better part of the morning, Parker was _this_ close to stomping his own foot. He would never admit it out loud but that picture in the station had completely freaked him out. While Parker knew he couldn't...and wouldn't...leave Mattie or his parents behind during this ordeal, he swore to himself that he would do whatever it took to convince his younger siblings to get out of harm's way.

"Dad, this is ridiculous! Paul said he was coming to get her at exactly two o'clock. That's less than an hour!" Parker said. "Sage needs to stop being so selfish and just get on the freaking plane!"

Jack saw Sage's eyes tearing up in hurt over her brother's words and sighed. Carly caught Jack's gaze and inclined her head ever so slightly. He immediately caught on and turned to Parker.

"Okay, let's you and me go have a little talk," Jack said, grabbing Parker by the neck.

Turning him firmly in the direction of the kitchen he not so gently pushed him into the other room.

Sage watched them go with a glare and then turned back to Carly. She opened her mouth, fully prepared to launch into another argument, but stopped when Carly held up her hand.

"Okay, enough," Carly said.

Taking Sage's hand she led her over to the couch but when they sat down, Sage immediately pulled her hand away and re-crossed her arms over her thin chest. Carly fought back a smile at how much Sage reminded her of herself when she got upset; feisty and ready to take on the world if she had to.

"Sage, you don't want to be treated like a baby and that's fine. But I swear to you, that's not what we're trying to do."

"Then how come you aren't sending Parker or J.J. away? How come it's just me you don't want around? What did _I_ do wrong?" Sage asked, her voice cracking on her last question.

Carly sat up straighter, her eyes wide in shock.

"Sage...what in the...? Is that what you think? That we're sending you away because you did something wrong?"

"No..." Sage said, her eyes darting away from her mother's face and then down to her now folded hands in her lap. "Maybe."

"Sage, baby, that's not true and you know it. You are just going to go somewhere until it's safe for you to come home again. Meg and Eliza are already there waiting for you."

"Mom, Eliza is a _baby_ and Meg is her mom so yeah, I get why they have to go." Sage said, utilizing that "b" word again to make her point.

"Sage, you saw the picture that Stenbeck sent us. And we both know how much it really scared you," Carly said, staring at her pointedly until Sage looked away.

The young girl swallowed hard at the reminder of her behavior when they got home from the station the other night. She would rather eat dirt that tell anyone that she had begged her parents to let her sleep in their room with them and had woken up crying twice in the middle of the night from nightmares.

Carly stared at Sage for a long hard moment, her head and her heart at war with each other over what she was about to do. In the end, she knew it was the only way she was going to get through to her daughter.

"Sage, you know something, you're right."

Carly had to fight a smile at the utterly shocked look that spread across her daughter's face when she heard those words.

"I...I am?"

"Yup, as much as I hate to admit it you're absolutely right when you say that you're not a baby anymore. So I'm going to explain something to you in a very grown-up way. Even though what I'm about to tell you, you won't fully understand until you become a mom yourself I need you to try and listen to what I'm saying, okay?"

Sage took pause in her mental celebration over the fact that her mother just admitted she was growing up, to focus better. Carly was talking to her in a way that she never had before and the tone of voice she was using commanded all of Sage's attention. The young girl nodded silently, her entire body still in anticipation.

"I know that I tell you all the time that I love you, but even if God granted me all the time in the world I will _never _be able to explain just how much. Simply put, you kids and your dad are my life. When someone or something threatens any of you, I don't think straight. It's like...it's like something inside of me gets broken and the only way to fix it is too try protect you to the best of my ability, no matter what the outcome is for myself."

"So right now, this whole not knowing where your sister is...that she is somewhere that I can't protect her or hold her or even tell her that I love her...it's killing me. Every minute of every day, I feel like someone is stabbing my heart with a knife and I don't know how to stop it. And the _only_ relief I get is when I come home and I see that you and your brothers are still with me. That, this monster hasn't gotten you too."

Carly ducked her head as she tried to get her emotions in check. Sage stared at her with wide-eyes, having seen for the first time a glimpse of how truly worried and tired her mother was.

Of course, growing up, Sage knew that her mother wasn't perfect. She had heard too many rumors, seen too many fights, and overheard too many whispers. But in Sage's eyes, Carly was ten feet tall. All those things that were volleyed around the small Illinois town, rolled off of Sage's heart like water off a duck's back. The woman they whispered about was not the _mother_ she knew at home.

No, that woman was the one who kissed her skinned knees the first time she fell off her bike; who stayed up all night helping her with her science project that was due the next day; who schlepped her without complaint all over town when she had three birthday parties in one day; who still tucked her in at night when she thought she was asleep even after she told her she was too old.

It was slightly overwhelming to realize that the same woman, who you thought could never break, was infinitely close to shattering at any given moment. When Carly began to speak again, Sage was pulled out of her own thoughts.

"Paul had brought up the idea of sending you guys away to a private island with Meg and Eliza a few days ago, but your father and I...we weren't ready to even think of such a thing. But after last night, if letting you go is the only way to protect you in all of this, as your parents we knew that we had to do it. Even though being away from you guys might hurt more than either of us can bear right now. But what your dad said earlier is true, both J.J. and Parker are much older than you. Parker is even a legal adult. We knew that getting them on that plane today was going to be pretty much impossible, although the idea of drugging them did come to mind."

Sage gave a small smile at that but then it disappeared as quickly as it came. Carly sighed and reached over to tuck a long strand behind Sage's ear.

"You are my last hope. It's not ideal, but knowing that you are safe and happy will help me, even though I will miss you like crazy. Do you...do you understand what I'm trying to tell you?"

Sage frowned and nodded slightly, but her brow was furrowed in quiet thought.

"But Mom, if I have to go away somewhere why can't I just go stay with Aunt Gwen? Why do I have to go so far way?" Sage asked softly.

"Because...well..." Carly sighed and gave a small smile at the legitimate question. "I'll let you in a on a little secret okay?"

Despite her anger and reluctance, a small spark of interest flickered in Sage's eyes at the mention of the word secret. Again, Carly thought wryly, like mother like daughter.

"Gwen, Will, and Hallie are going to be there too. We thought it would make you feel a little more comfortable and they missed you a lot. Especially Hallie. Plus think of all the babysitting money you'll make helping out with Hallie and Eliza!"

Sage's eyebrow rose and she gave her mom a knowing look.

"And they're going has nothing to do with it probably being safer for them in case that crazy man tries to hurt them too, right?"

Carly was taken aback for a moment at Sage's insightful comment and after a moment, she nodded her head slightly.

"Yes, that was part of it." Carly confirmed, causing her daughter to exhale noisily and shift a little bit further away from her on the couch. With her own sigh, Carly ran a soothing hand over her daughter's long brown hair. "Sage, it's not going to be like you're going to be there forever. Just..."

"Until it's safe, I know. You said that already. _Twice_. And you know what Mom, what you just told me, I get it. I do. I know you're scared and worried and I really am sorry I'm being 'a brat'. It's just that..." Sage trailed off, her eyes tearing up again. "Never mind."

"No. It's just that, what?" Carly asked, tucking her finger under Sage's chin and lifting her face so she could see her.

"Mom, I love Aunt Gwen and everyone that's going to be there but...they don't make me feel safe. _You _do. You and Daddy and Parker and J.J. We're a family and you'll be together here while I'm in the middle of nowhere." she said, the tears finally boiling over and spilling down her cheeks.

Sage took a deep shuddering breath and her voice cracked again as she finally admitted what had been circling around in her head all morning.

"I don't want to be alone."

Carly immediately pulled Sage into her arms and felt tears burn her eyes as her little girl clutched at her so hard she felt her fingernails. Making soothing noises in the back of her throat she just ran her hand over her daughter's long silky hair and gently rocked her.

"Sage?"

Startled, both females let go of each other and turned towards the voice from the stairs. J.J. sat on the bottom landing, a huge duffel bag beside him and his arms crossed over his knees.

"You won't be alone," J.J. said, giving her a soft smile.

In the kitchen, Jack had been reprimanding Parker for his words to his sister earlier when they had heard Sage's rant die down. Out of curiosity they had peered back into the living room and were immediately caught up in watching the whole exchange between mother and daughter.

Now as Sage leapt up and ran to hug J.J., Carly not far behind, the two other men of the family retreated back into the kitchen.

Jack opened his mouth to say something but Parker quickly shook his head and cut him off.

"Don't even start, Dad. I'm not going," Parker glared at Jack who looked at him and sighed.

"Parker, there is nothing you can do for Mattie that the doctors aren't already doing."

"Would you leave Mom if you were in my shoes?" Parker asked, using his most surefire argument.

Jack frowned and was about to point out that it wasn't the same thing, only to realize that who was he to judge the amount of love between his son and Mattie. Besides, that point was won fair and square; they both knew Jack would never leave Carly's side.

"Parker, what happened to Mattie is not your fault. We're all just...pawns...in this twisted man's game."

"Oh my God, everyone keeps saying that!" Parker said, his anger boiling over. "It's not a game, Dad! Not to us! Not to me!"

Jack stepped further away from the doorway and placed his hand on the back of Parker's neck, pulling him forward so that their foreheads were touching. A memory, sharp and almost as painful as when it happened, flashed in Parker's mind.

The last time they had stood like this they had been in the driveway of Milltown a broken hockey stick laying shattered in the background and half of their family in the hospital.

"I know that it's not a game, but you've got to stay strong. We are going to find your sister and we are going to bring her home, along with your aunt and Johnny. The doctors are going to figure out a cure for Mattie and she's going to be fine." Jack said, his eyes searching out Parker's own gaze. "You've got to believe that."

As it got said aloud, the list of things that needed to be done and have faith for was overwhelming.

"Dad..." Parker started to say, his voice reflecting the exhaustion he felt both physically, mentally, and emotionally. Tightening his grip on Parker's neck, Jack shook his head.

"No, Parker. Listen to me, okay? We're going to win this and you know why? Because after the last 24 hours of pure hell that this family has been through, we know something now that he doesn't."

Parker stayed silent but Jack could tell he was taking in everything his dad was saying.

"We can get through anything together." Jack said firmly. "It's not just that he didn't break us, Parker. It's that he _can't _break us."

In one swift movement Parker found himself pulled into a hug. Wrapping his own arms around Jack, Parker suddenly was transported back through the years when this man's hug made him feel safe and protected and like everything was going to be alright. He was slightly surprised to find that even now, that feeling hadn't changed.

"Are you ready? Paul's here..." Carly's soft voice drifted over them as she appeared in the doorway of the kitchen.

Father and son pulled apart and both nodded. Carly felt tears well up in her eyes at how similar they were despite biology. Her two strong silent men...

As Parker proceeded out of the kitchen in front of them, Jack took the opportunity to pull Carly close and press a quick kiss to her lips.

"We're doing the right thing, Carly," he said, quietly.

She sighed knowing that he had once again read her like a book. The soft reassurance was exactly what she needed to hear as last minute doubts swirled up inside of her like a tornado.

"I know, but..." Carly started to say back in the same quiet tone.

"...it doesn't make it any easier to watch them leave." Jack finished for her and she nodded her head in agreement. "I know, Baby, but we need to do this. Just hold on to me, okay?"

Hands intertwined, they walked out into the living room a united front.

Sage and J.J. had just finished handing their duffel bags to a solemn Paul while Parker stood by the stairs watching. The man gave a brief wave to Carly and Jack before holding up two fingers. After seeing them all silently acknowledge that they only had a couple minutes to say their last goodbyes, Paul gave a soft smile and slipped out the door to go wait in the car.

Turning to her eldest brother, Sage twisted her hands in front of her.

"Parker?" Sage said his name tentatively, her eyes shining with the smallest amount of hope as the unspoken plea hung in the air.

"I can't go, Sage." Parker said, his voice rough but not unkind. "I can't leave Mattie. I promised her I would never...I just can't leave, okay?"

"I know," Sage said, a small sigh leaving her body but acceptance dawning over her face.

"Besides, I know J.J. will watch over you for the both of us." Parker said and caught his younger brother's eye over where he was getting final hugs from their parents.

J.J. gave a small smile and nodded, a promise in his eyes.

"I know," Sage repeated and then without warning hurled herself at him like she used to do when she was younger.

For all his teasing and sarcastic remarks, Parker held onto Sage just as tightly as she was holding onto him.

"Okay, guys, it's time." Jack said, his voice full of emotion that he was barely keeping in.

Expressions of love and words of encouragement were exchanged along with strong embraces and several kisses. But all too soon, J.J. and Sage were concealed in the back of Paul's black SUV and Jack, Carly, and Parker were waving goodbye from the porch.

As the car pulled away, Jack gently pulled Carly back into the house. He knew she would stand there long after the taillights had disappeared around the bend but for all intents and purposes this needed to look like a routine pick up for a sleepover at the farm or Fairwinds.

Once she was inside, however, the strong front that she had been putting forth crumbled and with a broken sob Carly turned into Jack's chest. Pressing kisses to her hair and murmuring gentle words of strength, Jack looked up to see Parker staring at them in apprehension.

Words didn't need to be said as Jack clearly read the look on his son's face and he turned away, unable to argue this time.

While this crazy man hadn't broken them as a family yet, he was doing a bang-up job of chipping away at what was left.


	18. Friends Simply Listen

**Author's Note: Hi everyone; another Friday, another update as promised! Thanks so much for the reviews of the last chapter and letting me know that you're still out there reading this. It is deeply appreciated :) This chapter is a little different from what you'd expect as it focuses on a few other Oakdale characters instead of CarJack. BUT it does move the story along and there is a very important development at the end so I hope you can forgive me. That being said, I hope I got the personalities right, especially since I'm so used to writing Carly, Jack, and their family that I feel I might forget how to write others. I hope it's up to standard!**

**Anyways...ENJOY!**  
**~JP**

Family Imperfect: part 17  
by Jaclyn Parker

_"Listening is a magnetic and strange thing, a creative force.  
The friends who listen to us are the ones we move toward.  
When we are listened to, it creates us, makes us unfold and expand."  
__-Unknown  
_

* * *

A bird diving in and out of the trees caught her eye, causing her to stop her leisurely stroll and just stare.

It circled high and wide before dropping low again and she found herself entranced by the odd movements. When the bird suddenly let out a loud screech she realized that it was an owl. She was surprised for although it was late in the day, the sun still shone brightly in the sky over Oakdale Park.

The owl's bobbing and weaving tapered off and without warning it dove into the trees like a missile. A squeal echoed and the bird rose into the air once more, flying away with something squirming within its sharp talons.

A deep shudder ran through her and she found that her prior fascination with the owl's hunting routine was quickly replaced by revulsion. The sound of her name being called repeatedly, followed by a light touch on her jacket sleeve had her jumping. She whirled around to stare at the intruder of her thoughts and found herself meeting a concerned pair of blue eyes.

"I'm sorry, Dusty, what did you say?" Nicole asked, nervously licking her dry lips.

"I asked if you were okay," Dusty repeated his earlier question, his eyes still worried. "We were talking about Josh's obsession with dinosaurs and then suddenly you seemed to be miles away."

"Oh, I..." Nicole started to answer and then as his words registered her head whipped around to locate her son. "Josh!"

"He's fine, Nic. He's over there on the jungle gym. The officers are keeping an eye on him," Dusty reassured her.

He accompanied his words with a minuscule gesture to the three undercover FBI agents with them, one of whom saw his motion and sent back a small nod.

Dusty saw her shoulders relax somewhat but noticed there was still a fair amount of tension in her face. Slipping his gloved hand under her elbow he led her in the direction of an empty park bench.

"Come on, we can watch him from here and give our legs a rest."

Nicole eyed him briefly as they sat down on the sun warmed bench.

"Aw, poor baby. Are you still winded from that game of tag with my itty bitty five year old son?"

"Hey! I didn't see _you_ pulling any airplane spins out of your back pocket! Where was the warning that if I did it once, he'd want me to do it every time he tagged me?"

"I figured you'd learn your lesson soon enough," Nicole said. She laughed when he just gave a huff and slouched down into his jacket, muttering under his breath.

Taking pity on him she leaned forward and gently placed a kiss on his slightly scruffy cheek. He immediately grinned and turned to capture her lips in a real kiss. After a moment, they broke apart and seeing the sparkle in his eyes, Nicole blushed. While she thoroughly enjoyed what had just happened she knew that the middle of the town park was not the time to be paying such close attention to Dusty Donovan. No it was definitely not the time to linger on his sexy smile or sky blue eyes or obviously well-toned body...

Forcing those heat inducing thoughts back where they belonged she laid her head down on his shoulder instead of kissing him again like she wanted. A soft giggle slipped out of her when he used the opportunity to wrap his arm around her and pull her closer even though the temperature was well into the 50s. Even though it was late March, the weather had been steadily climbing in temperature. In fact it hadn't dropped below forty in almost a week.

Ever since that horrible day at the police station.

Her laughter faded as she saw one FBI agent speak quickly into a communicator on his wrist that looked like an ordinary watch. It was done in a completely casual manner, so much so that a normal person just passing by wouldn't have even noticed. However Nicole had been so hyper-vigilant since this whole mess started that it was like he had screamed "Hey, I'm an FBI agent" across the whole park. Her whole body tensed again as her eyes immediately sought out her son.

"He's fine," Dusty repeated into her ear causing a shiver to run down her spine at his closeness.

Nicole nodded briefly. She cleared her throat and focused on the five year old now running around the small playground with two other little boys. After a moment of making sure that the other children's parents, not mention the FBI agents, were watching just as closely she spoke up.

"Rationally I know that this outing was a good idea. He's such an energetic little boy and being cooped up all the time isn't good for him. Or my sanity. It's just..."

"Emotionally, you want to wrap him up in bubble wrap and lock him in the bedroom until this is all over?" Dusty supplied, feeling warmth spread through him when the corners of her lips quirked up in a slight smile.

"Yeah, something like that," Nicole answered.

Her dark brown eyes narrowed thoughtfully as she observed Josh and his new found friends taking turn sliding down on a long fireman's pole.

"I also can't help but wonder how different everything would be if Alec was still here. If I would feel a little less anxious or if Josh would feel a little safer."

As if suddenly realizing what she was saying Nicole's eyes got wide and with a quick glance in Dusty's direction she abruptly stopped talking. While this thing between them had barely gotten started, even _she_ knew that it was probably a bad idea to be going on about how much she wished her dead husband was around. Especially to the man who had been there for her and Josh unconditionally since the day they met.

But to her surprise, Dusty gently brushed a lock of hair off her forehead and shook his head.

"No, Nicole, don't do that. It's perfectly natural to be thinking that way. I can't tell you how many times I've been in situations where I wonder what it would be like to have Jen standing next to me to give me advice."

Gloved hands entwined, they just sat there for a few minutes and observed Josh apparently playing Spiderman with his two new found friends.

"I think Johnny and Josh would get along really well. They both love Spiderman," Dusty said suddenly.

"Um, I hate to break it to you but so does pretty much every little old boy on the planet," Nicole said, her amusement clear in her voice.

"Yeah, but not every little boy gets so into that they do somersaults on wood chips and immediately spring up into webbing position," Dusty said, pointing towards the playground.

Nicole let out a full laugh as she watched her son show off his well-honed Spiderman impersonation skills, wood chips sticking out every which direction in his curly brown hair.

"Does Johnny do that too?" She asked, looking up at him with a smile.

"No, but he did manage to somehow smuggle his bathrobe tie here once and attempted to use it on the monkey bars like a web string," Dusty said, his eyes twinkling as he remembered. "Thankfully I caught him just as he had finished looping it around the first bar."

The two adults laughed again to the antics of super hero worshiping children before snuggling closer together on the bench. Another moment of comfortable silence reigned over them before Nicole spoke up again.

"When Johnny comes home, are you going to fight for custody again?" Nicole asked gently.

Dusty pressed a quick kiss to the top of her head to show his appreciation of her phrasing her question with the word "when" instead of "if". Then he thought about it for a moment, a frown marring his handsome features.

"I honestly don't know," Dusty answered in the end. "I made a promise to his mother to look out for him and the idea of breaking that promise makes me sick. Especially when it involves letting Johnny go to someone like Craig Montgomery."

"But..." Nicole urged.

"But I can't deny the bond that Craig and Johnny seemed to have formed or the look that's on Montgomery's face every time I see him. It's the same pain, anger, and worry that I'm feeling inside."

"_But_..." Nicole prodded once more, knowing that there was one last thing he wasn't saying.

"_But_ for the first part of that little boy's life, it was all me. I talked to him when he was inside Jen; I rocked him to sleep when he woke up fussing; I kissed him hello in the morning and goodnight when it was dark. No matter whose blood is running through that child's veins, he knew was that _I_ was his father." Dusty realized that his voice was rising and he fought to calm himself down again.

With a deep sigh, he laid his head back to look up into the bright blue sky. "It's hard to forget that, even though I know the truth of the situation."

Nicole was quiet for a long moment and when she spoke, her voice shook slightly.

"Do you think...that's how Carly's sister feels about Josh? Even after all this time?"

Dusty's head shot up at her question and instinctively he made a sound of disapproval at her thinking. However, he stopped himself from throwing false platitudes her way and told her the truth. He hadn't lied to her yet and wasn't about to start now.

"Yeah, Nic." Dusty said softly, running a soothing hand up and down her arm. "I think she probably does."

He fully expected her to be annoyed with his answer or even start spouting out protests of how she was Josh's mother now and not Rosanna. But when Nicole turned her watery eyes on him, the emotion behind them was sympathy not anger. And yet there was also a tiny amount of fear.

Dusty immediately pulled her closer to him and let her grip the front of his jacket.

"Wanna talk about something else?" Dusty asked, whispering the words into her hair.

"Please," Nicole said, nodding in his embrace.

"Okay," Dusty said then pretended to think a moment. "How about what's up with you and your sister?"

"Oh, dear God, anything but that!" Nicole exclaimed, pulling away while letting out a bitter laugh.

"Come on, it's as good a topic as any," Dusty said, ignoring her as she shook her head. "There has to be a story behind why you've ignored all of her calls."

"I have not!" Nicole argued and Dusty gave her a look.

"Nic, the one time you answered it was accidental because the number was blocked. As soon as you realized it was her, you told her you couldn't talk because you had to go wash your hair and then hung up again."

"Yeah...but I _did_ answer the phone," Nicole muttered, sticking her hands in her jacket pockets as she tried to maintain an innocent face.

Dusty just chuckled and looked at her pointedly.

"Oh okay, okay," Nicole said, rolling her eyes as she caved in to his look.

Nicole made sure that Josh was still occupied and the FBI agents were still as attentive as ever, before turning to Dusty. "I have to warn you, it's not some crazy drawn out story. It's not even that uncommon."

"That's fine," Dusty said. He settled more comfortably onto the bench and then threw her an expectant look. After another quick eye roll, Nicole obliged his curiosity.

"Janet was already eight years old when I was born. Our brother, Tony, was almost twelve. Our home life wasn't exactly Ozzie and Harriet or Leave It to Beaver."

"You been watching TVLand reruns again?" Dusty asked, smirking at her.

"You wanna hear this or not, smartass?" Nicole asked with a quick jab to the ribs.

"Sorry, sorry," Dusty said, biting his lip to keep from laughing at her indignant face. "Please continue."

Nicole eyed him for a moment, as if trying to gauge if he was done poking fun at her. He gave her a nod and an encouraging smile, letting her know he really was ready to hear her story. She nodded back and then settled more onto the bench, her brow furrowed in thought as she began to talk again.

"Our dad was always doing either one of two things, working or drinking. Mom was pretty useless most of the time too, unless you counted chain smoking or flirting with the neighbor's husbands. But Janet...she made sure I didn't really see any of that. Growing up, I knew that if I was ever scared or hungry or upset that _Janet_ was the one who was going to take care of me. As I got older she became everything to me; she was my whole world."

Nicole paused for a moment and looked over his shoulder, her eyes not really focusing on anything as she continued.

"Then, two weeks after my ninth birthday, I woke up one morning and she was gone. No note, no explanation whatsoever. Just...gone."

Dusty's heart ached as he caught a glimpse of the broken child that Nicole had once been. By the emotions running across her face, she obviously remembered everything about that morning, no matter how blasé she tried to make it sound.

"I completely lost it when my mom said that she had left to go live with some aunt I didn't remember having. Then my dad, with a beer in his hand, chimed in that they did know that she wasn't coming back. Now, you have to understand that the conversation I had with them that morning was the most I had ever really interacted with my parents in my entire life up to that point. _Janet_ was my parent; I had no reason to rely on these people. For all intents and purposes, they were strangers to me. So of course I didn't believe a word out of them and completely rebelled against everything they told me to do. It only got worse when, about a month later, their story changed from her living with that aunt to her just plain running away."

Nicole's hands twisted in her lap until Dusty covered them with his own, gently applying pressure. Taking comfort from his gesture, she sighed.

"I checked the mail every damn day for two years straight waiting for some kind of letter or note." Nicole said, the emotion in her voice growing stronger. "I slept in her room thinking that, if I wished hard enough, maybe she'd come back and take me away too."

"I guess, eventually, my constant asking for her got to be too much and Mom snapped. She told me that Janet had left because she didn't want to take care of me anymore; that I was too much trouble and too hard to love for her to stay here anymore."

"Nicole, you know that's not true," Dusty said, frowning and lifting her chin up with his index finger.

"_Now_! I know that _now_! But back then, what else was I supposed to think, Dusty? I was barely nine years old when she left me alone...in...that...house." Nicole said, her eyes blazing at him. "Suddenly I had to learn how to dodge my dad's beer cans flying at my head when I walked in the front door. I had to carefully avoid saying the 'wrong' thing to my mother or else be rewarded with cigarette burns on my arms. Or, how could I forget to mention, having to constantly remember to double lock my bedroom door in case my 21 year old brother had just a _little_ too much to drink that night and wanted to 'play Barbies' with me."

At her last statement, Dusty's stomach rolled and at the unspoken question in the air and in his eyes, Nicole shook her head. The feeling of relief was so great that he couldn't help but pull her to him in a quick hug. Before he could say anything, Nicole pulled away and kept on talking as if the outburst never happened.

"Of course when I started high school, I started to learn that my sister didn't exactly have that squeaky clean image around town that I always thought she had. I heard the rumors about why she had really left but even then, no matter how angry I was at her, I didn't want to believe what they said." Nicole said but then let out a quick humorless laugh. "Having now seen the living proof of those rumors drinking a latte at Starbucks this morning with her friends, I probably owe a couple people back home an apology."

Dusty smiled at her, knowing that his comments weren't really needed or wanted at this point. Despite being reluctant to talk about her past, it appeared to be just what Nicole needed. Even though she had quickly formed a close friendship with Carly Snyder, Nicole was more than well aware that Carly had too much on her plate already to listen to her tales of woe. Dusty suspected that the truth was that Nicole really hadn't had anyone to talk to like this since her husband died.

"I knew that I wasn't going to last very long in that house so I studied extra hard and began to purposely stay out of trouble. I bated my time until I turned 16, took and passed my GED and then got the hell out of Dodge. I ended up traveling for a while until I settled down in a small town in Maine. I worked as the manager at an inn for a really nice older gentleman named Ben, who treated me like his own daughter. That's where I met Alec."

"Love at first sight?" Dusty asked, smiling at the soft look that had come over her face when she mentioned Alec. The idea that he should feel jealous of the man never entered his mind. What good would those feelings do when, in the end, Dusty was the one who was here with his arm wrapped around Nicole?

Nicole laughed at his question and shook her head.

"No, not exactly. I kinda accidently pushed him off a ladder and he broke his leg," she answered and laughed again at Dusty's shocked face. "It's a long story but short version is he spent six weeks at the inn in a cast and we got married the day after it came off. Alec quit his job at a big accounting firm in New York and Ben hired Alec to do the financial aspects of the inn. It wasn't a glamorous life, but we were incredibly happy."

"And then..." Dusty said, smiling since he knew what came next.

"And then we were blessed with Josh," Nicole said, returning his smile full force. "We knew early on that Alec wasn't able to have kids and so we applied to a few adoptions agencies. I was actually pretty shocked when we got the phone call from the social worker. I mean, not we had only applied less than a year before but we were so young and living in this tiny Podunk town. But Alec never blinked. He said that all it meant was that Josh was meant to be ours."

Suddenly Nicole's face dropped and her eyes took on a faraway look.

"You don't think that...maybe...he was given to us because of our situation. I mean, no one would ever think to look for him in Lake Catherine, Maine. Maybe it wasn't fate that brought him to us but some sick twisted move..."

"Whoa, whoa!" Dusty broke in and grabbed her firmly by the forearms. It wasn't enough pressure to hurt her but it made her stop mid-sentence and look at him in confusion. "Do _not_ even go there, okay? You're just going to drive yourself crazy thinking things like that. Does it really even matter? Would you give Josh back if the answer to that question was one you didn't like?"

Nicole frowned at him and then looked away towards the playground. She couldn't help the beaming smile on her face as the subject of discussion caught her watching him and waved at her.

"No," Nicole said, shaking her head passionately. "I would die before I let someone take him from me."

"That a girl," Dusty said, pressing his lips to her forehead briefly and then pulling away again. Glancing down at his watch he saw that their allotted hour and half venture to the park was almost up.

Nicole saw the time too and reluctantly stood, stretching her body out as Dusty got up as well. As she turned to ask him if he wanted to join them for dinner, a hard body ran into her from behind and propelled her forward into Dusty.

"Oh my God, I am so sorry!"

After righting Nicole's balance and making sure she really was okay, Dusty turned towards the remorseful guy who had shoved her in the first place. He was fully prepared to tell the guy saying sorry exactly where he could stick his apology, only to blink in surprise at the harried face staring back at him.

"Luke?"

Surprise flashed across the younger man's face before it slipped into a spiteful mask.

"Dusty," Luke bit back out, no warmth in his tone at all.

Dusty fought the urge to roll his eyes but instead just coolly nodded back his own greeting.

Apparently the young man shifting impatiently next to Luke didn't have the same reservations about showing his irritability as he let out a huge sigh and did actually roll his eyes.

"Luke, we don't have time for this. We gotta go give this to the cops!" he whispered harshly, drawing Dusty's gaze to him.

Dusty recognized him almost immediately as Luke's boyfriend even though his name escaped him at the moment. What was it again...Nick? No, that wasn't right. Oh wait, Noah! That was it! Noah!

In the midst of his mental ramblings, the words Noah had spoken seemed to suddenly penetrate his foggy brain and Dusty's head jerked up and his eyes narrowed.

"Wait, show what to the cops? What's going on?"

"We think found a guy who might be involved with the kidnappings," Noah said even as Luke shushed him.

"Wait, what?" Nicole exclaimed, stepping forward into the huddle they were forming. All three men blinked as if realizing that she was standing there but instantly, Dusty focused on the boys again.

"Where? Are you sure?" Dusty asked, reaching out to grab Luke's elbow.

Jerking his arm away, Luke eyed him suspiciously. Even as frustration welled up inside of him, this reaction was something for which Dusty couldn't entirely blame him. Through some of the more formative years of Luke's relatively young life, Dusty's presence had always been synonymous with trouble.

"Look, kid, I just want to get those kids and Rosanna home safe. We're here with FBI agents and they might be able to help if you can just tell me what you saw," Dusty explained, trying not to let his impatience slip through.

Luke seemed to be weighing his options when Noah gave his arm a quick reassuring squeeze.

"Luke, if you're sure about what you saw..."

"I'm sure," Luke interrupted his boyfriend who seemed to take it in stride and just nodded.

"Then right now, Dusty is in a better position to help us then just calling the cops and having to wait for them to show up. This guy could be gone by then."

Although torn about letting Dusty Donovan help him with anything, Luke knew that what they had seen was bigger than petty ill placed feelings between them. He had seen the damage that this whole situation was doing to his family and he just wanted everyone home safe where they belonged.

Nodding to Noah, he motioned to start the explanation. Noah smiled back softly at him, the pride in his eyes causing Luke to momentarily blush even as Noah started to speak.

"Okay, so I needed some B footage outdoor scenes for a sort of mockumentary I'm doing in one of my film classes," Noah explained as he began turning on the small HD camcorder that was previously cradled to his chest. "We were over by the picnic area..."

"The one near the construction site for the new gazebo and barbeque area," Luke supplied while mentally hurrying Noah up. "It's taped off but we figured we'd only be there about five to ten minutes, max."

"So we're there, alone like we guessed, when suddenly we hear this guy yelling. We thought he was arguing with someone but when he came into view we could see he was talking to himself. He was covered in leaves and mud and his clothes were all ripped. We assumed he was homeless, especially when he went to go take a nap on one of the picnic tables. We were just gonna ignore him and keep filming for a few more minutes but then he saw us. He got up, started screaming again, and then came at us with this huge shovel."

"So Noah and I said fuck this and just booked it out of there," Luke said, not bothering to apologize for his language. He was too busy repressing the fear he felt as he remembered the crazed look in the guy's eyes when he charged them.

"We got as far as the footbridge when I noticed that I had the camera running the whole time. So I rewound the footage and saw that I had caught the whole thing," Noah said.

He was only partially paying attention to the conversation as he tried to find the exact spot on the film that had sent them running again in the first place.

Over Noah's shoulder, Dusty watched the sped up film go by. Even without watching it normally he could tell by the frantic motions of the disheveled man on the screen that he was high on something.

"I had Luke double check what I was seeing on the film. He was the one who noticed it," Noah said, turning to his boyfriend who nodded.

"What? Noticed what?" Dusty urged, ready to get to the part of the story he was actually interested in.

"The guy is using a diaper bag as a knapsack. _Emmy's_ diaper bag," Luke said.

"Oh my God, are you sure?" Nicole gasped, gripping onto Dusty's arm in alarm.

"I'm positive," Luke insisted. "My grandmom bought the same one for my cousin Eliza when she was born. I remember that she got a matching one for Emmy because Carly liked it so much. Something about a built in binkie sanitizer, a personalized flap, and lots of pockets..."

Luke wasn't sure what any of that meant exactly; as far as he was concerned one diaper bag was as good as any other. But he remembered clearly the enthusiastic response Carly had given his grandmother when Emma had surprised her with the monogrammed item at a family dinner not two months ago.

"Here, found it! Look, you can even see the letter E on the bag in the film," Noah said practically shoving the camcorder under Dusty's nose.

Pulling back slightly to focus on the small screen, Dusty watched as Noah zoomed in on the bag the man was now using as a pillow on the picnic table.

Sure enough, the bright pink letter was easy to pinpoint.

As Dusty pushed the camcorder back towards the young man, his eyes spotted the aforementioned long dark shovel that was propped up against the picnic table. There was a deep reddish-brown stain on the once silver blade and Dusty instinctively knew that it wasn't rust.

"Stay here," Dusty said and hurried over to collect the FBI men who had been watching the whole exchange with attentive eyes.

An extremely brief rundown of the story he had just been told, along with the footage as evidence had the FBI agents speaking into the phones immediately. They got permission to detain the suspect for the local police, if he was where the two boys had left him. Luke and Noah insisted on coming along, saying that it would be faster to show them then try to explain the path they had taken.

The FBI men had started to protest but Dusty stood up for them, explaining that it was the boys who had gotten the footage to begin with and that the more they stood there arguing the less of a change the guy would still be on the table. After extracting promises from both Luke and Noah that they would stay as far back from the altercation as possible, then adding Dusty's own unenthusiastic promise to do the same into the mix, they all started to head out.

Dusty threw a brief look over his shoulder towards where Nicole was now holding Josh closely to her side as the third FBI agent started to usher them towards the car. Dusty gave a quick reassuring smile before turning around to catch up to the others. He knew that they were both thinking the same exact thing.

Maybe, just maybe, this was the break they needed.


	19. No Man Can Be That Temperate

**Author's Note: Hey guys. I'm sorry for not posting last week but the last 10 days have been a complete roller coaster. I have three different loved ones in hospitals right now spread out all down the east coast (one w/ cancer, one with a stroke, and one with a brain bleed from falling on the stupid ice). And so once again real life completely got away from me. I am going to try my hardest to post another chapter by the end of the weekend to make up for this one being so late. **

**That being said, the reviews for this story (even the pushy ones for me to update ;-) ) have given me reason to smile and I love you all the more for them. **

**ENJOY**  
**~JP**

Family Imperfect: part 18  
by Jaclyn Parker

_"Who can be wise, amazed, temperate and __furious,__ loyal and neutral, in a moment?"  
"__No man."  
__~William Shakespeare  
_

* * *

When the doors to the Oakdale police station swung open all eyes turned to watch the struggling suspect be shoved through them. The glares pointed in that direction were nothing short of death-inducing and more than one hand glided over their sidearms, just wishing to be Dirty Harry for a brief moment.

The man had only been thrust into the interrogation room for less than two minutes when Jack came bursting through the same set of doors. Margo immediately put down the phone that was against her ear, not caring that she had just hung up on the assistant DA, and quickly moved over to her frantic friend.

"Is it true? Did you find the guy?" Jack asked.

"Yes, Jack, we think we got the guy that took Emmy. But we haven't had a chance to question..." Margo started but Jack cut her off.

"Where is he, Margo? I want first crack at him," Jack demanded.

His eyes darted around the bullpen, searching for the suspect as if they had hidden away from him like a child's game of hide and go seek.

"Jack, no. You know that's not possible," Margo said.

She moved to stand in front of him, so that he was forced to look at her, and put a restraining hand on his arm.

"It's against regulations for you to be the one to interrogate him. It could damage any case the prosecution has when this goes to trial."

"Screw the judicial part of this! It's against regulations to even be minutely involved in this investigation Margo. You can bring the governor himself here to tell me not to go in there with that creep but I'm going anyway. Fire me if you have to but if me going after this guy is what gets my daughter back home then I don't give a damn." Jack said, his eyes narrowing at his chief.

Margo sighed and then pinched the bridge of her nose, willing the massive headache building to go away. Finally she dropped her hand and opened her eyes to look at him.

"Fine, you can be in the room _but_ under no circumstances are you allowed to ask him a question unless I give you permission first," Margo said, giving him a stern look.

"Okay, fine," Jack said, agreeing quickly just to get it over with.

Margo narrowed her eyes at him and frowned.

"You know what, Jack? Forget not talking to him. Don't even _look_ in his direction," She amended.

Jack just rolled his eyes and made a sweeping gesture towards the interrogation rooms. Margo hesitated a moment more, sizing up the man in front of her. Apparently she decided that enough of the cop, and not the distraught father, was in control of his current emotional state and led the way.

When they entered, Dallas was sitting across the table from their suspect, leaning back in his chair with his arms crossed over his chest. They rightly guessed that this position wasn't one of relaxation but to keep the younger detective from leaping across the table and pummeling the guy to a pulp. Another officer, whom Jack recognized as Officer Williams, was standing just inside the doorway also watching the twitching man in the chair with complete antipathy. When Margo walked by, Officer Williams handed her a thick folder. She accepted it and then wrinkled her nose as an odor hit her.

"What in the world is that smell?"

"It seems our friend here – who has thus far declined to give us a _name_- hasn't properly bathed in a few days. At least, that's our best guess," Dallas volunteered, sending a withering glance in the man's direction. "Wanna clarify for the nice chief of police there, buddy?"

The man glared back at Dallas but only jolted again like he had been hit with a live wire. He reached up to scratch harshly behind his right ear, looking all the while like a dog with fleas.

The handcuffs around his wrists jangled obnoxiously every time he moved, reminding Margo why they usually un-cuffed their less dangerous suspects while in the interrogation room. However, after taking in the constant jerking motions he was making and the slightly crazed look in his eyes, Margo opted to keep them on him for now.

"Why haven't we gotten a name yet? Didn't you run his prints?" Jack spoke up, the venom in his voice directed at the suspect and not Dallas.

When Margo glared at him and pointed away from them, Jack sighed deeply and followed her silent order. Leaning back against the opposite wall, now partially covered in shadows, he remained quiet but continued to stare daggers at the suspect.

"We can't run his prints," Dallas said, answering Jack's question anyway.

Before Margo or Jack could ask why not, he reached over and none too gently pulled the suspect's wrists into view. Turning over the man's filthy hands he forced them to unfurl and spread out his fingers.

"What the hell...?"

This time the words came from Officer Williams, who immediately looked sheepish at his outburst. However it wasn't sheepish enough to fully hide the curiosity and horror in his eyes.

"Someone burned off his fingerprints. Probably with some type of acid," Dallas said. "And pretty liberally too by the looks of this amount of scarring."

"Dammit, if this guy is in the system, which I doubt, it could take days to get DNA back," Jack muttered. "We don't have that kind of time."

This time Margo didn't bother to admonish him for his flare-up since they were all thinking along the same lines anyway. When Dallas let go of the man he instantly pulled his fists back to his body and started scratching behind his head with his one hand.

"Alright, Jonesy, let's get this show on the road. You don't mind if I just call you Jonesy, right?" Dallas sneered, trying to needle the obviously drugged up man in front of him.

The twitching man just scratched behind his ear again, and then began to bite his fingernails down to the cuticles.

Opening the file on the table Margo and Dallas began peppering the man with questions, getting no answers in return other than more violent twitching. After about ten minutes of this Jack's eyes wandered more fully over him, taking in the opportunity to assess the individual in front of them.

The tattered suit "Jonesy" had on was by a designer that Jack knew couldn't be afforded outside of certain circles thanks to many fashion lectures by his wife. Jack also noticed that, in spite of the painful acid burning of the fingertips, the man's hands showed no signs of blue collar work. His clothes hung loosely upon his thinning frame, calling attention to how fast whatever drug he was using took a toll on the human body. The matted beard that covered his face couldn't completely hide his sunken in cheeks. Nor did it detract from the dark black circles forming in the hollows of the eyes. The effect was not yet enough to look skeletal but certainly enough to make a person shudder and recognize this man's ill health.

In the back of his mind Jack knew that this man's appearance had undergone such a drastic change from a couple weeks ago that even if Mattie was conscious, she would have been hard pressed to ID him as the man who attacked her and Emmy.

As if it was an involuntary movement Jonesy's hand traveled back to behind his right ear and lightly scratched at something.

"What the fuck? You got fleas, man? Why are you always scratching that spot?" Dallas asked.

Without waiting for an answer, that was unlikely to come anyway, the young detective got up to move around the back of Jonesy's chair. In a very impatient move, he reached out to yank Jonesy's hand away from his head. Pushing him forward into the light, Dallas moved the stringy hair out of the way so they could all see what was there.

An inch long brand was burned onto the patch of skin right behind the ear and below the hairline. The wound had obviously not been kept as clean as it should and the raised lettering was swollen and a brilliant shade of red. It was also crusted over with something that had the tell-tale smell of an obvious infection. Despite this, the initials that had been seared into the flesh were as plain as day.

"It seems that you've been marked as property," Dallas sneered, pushing the shaking man back into the chair.

"James never did care for subtlety," Margo said with a scoff.

At her words, they all discerned the first real sign that the suspect in front of them was even lucid enough to be paying attention to them. When she had said the name "James" the man didn't just twitch, he full on cowered back into the chair.

Jack glared at him and felt the anger rise up again at the man's obvious fear of the madman who held his daughter and not the furious father in front of him right then.

"You shouldn't be scared of James! You should be scared of me, you asshole! I don't care if we're here all night; you are going to talk to us! You are going to tell us what we need to know!" Jack yelled, ignoring Margo's murmured cautioning.

The warning didn't seem to matter as Jonesy didn't even flinch this time, only began bouncing his knees up and down and muttering to himself.

"Man, what's the use? This guy is obviously coming down off of something," Dallas said, rubbing a frustrated hand over his forehead. "And it must be designer because I have never seen anybody fly so high in the sky as this guy was earlier on that video tape."

A moan caught their attention and they looked at the man at the table who was now staring back at them at full alert.

"_Sky_?" Jonesy suddenly asked loudly. "You did...you said...you said, '_Sky_'!"

His head jerked up and his eyes flitted back and forth between all of them in the room.

Trying not to show their surprise at his sudden participation in the conversation, Margo took the lead and leaned forward slightly.

"I'm sorry, what did you just say?"

"Do have my '_Sky_'? I'll tell you anything if you have my '_Sky_'," He reiterated quickly, pulling on his knuckles so hard it was a wonder he hadn't broken his own fingers yet.

They all exchanged slow shakes of the head, confirming that none of them had ever heard of the drug that he was asking for. However his expression was so filled with hope and yearning that there was little doubt that this was the name of whatever drug he was currently on.

Seeing their reactions, Jonesy deflated again. He stared sullenly at the table, looking more he had been told Santa Claus didn't exist than a man who had possibly kidnapped two children and an adult woman.

"Shoulda known...shoulda...yeah, shoulda known," Jonesy said, petulantly. "Only Mr. J or Mr. S has my '_Sky_'. Always has my '_Sky_' when I do something good."

"Mr. J _and_ Mr. S?" Jack repeated, his eyes widening.

Dallas, Margo, and Jack all looked at each other in shock and confusion.

It had never occurred to them that James might be working with someone else. A lackey, like the guy they were currently talking to, made sense but someone that was obviously in some form of control was a new concept. Sure, it could be that James had this other guy under the influence of this wonder drug only more tightly reigned in but it was unlikely. One drug addict alone was difficult to predict and adding another would just take away from James's overgrown sense of need to control everything around him. The idea that there was someone else out there, someone else whose motives were completely obscured from them, was a chilling thought.

Desperate now to obtain any more information they could, Jack pushed himself off the wall and walked forward to come more into the light.

"Well, maybe we can get you something better if you cooperate with us," Jack urged.

For a disgustingly dirty scumbag, the look Jonesy gave Jack at that statement was full of condescension.

"No, nothing is as good as my '_Sky_' is. When you take it, it burns so much that you feel like you're touching the sun but then...then...then you're flying. Through the clouds and in the air and it's cool and wonderful and..."

Jonesy trailed off as he zoned out to stare across the room. A few twitches and some drool slipping out of his mouth were their only evidence he was even still breathing as his mind took him down a path they couldn't follow.

"Well, Jonesy..._Jonesy_, are you listening to me?" Dallas said, pounding on the table in front of them to get the man's attention. Jonesy jumped and looked back at the cop but they could see he was still partially in la-la land. "Jonesy, what if next time James calls we try to get some '_Sky_' from him. We can just tell him how good you're being and how you are talking to us nicely and..."

That statement got an even bigger response that Margo's mention of James's name.

"No! No!" Jonesy cried out, his voice filled with sudden panic. "Mr. J...he doesn't like it when I talk to people. He gets mad. He gets real mad. Real mad..."

Jonesy began rambling and touched the back of his ear where his burn was.

"I talked to the lady once...once...once and then Mr. J saw and yelled and grabbed me and burned me. He burned me and he wouldn't give me '_Sky_' when he did so the fire wasn't the good kind of fire,"

"No, not Mr. S. He's never mad. He...he...protects. He watches. Mr. S doesn't get mad. Only Mr. J...so you can't...don't...no, no, don't tell him I talked to you," Jonesy muttered, pulling on his fingers. "He doesn't like it when I talk to other people."

Seeing that the man in front of them was _this_ close to full-on hyperventilating and passing out, Margo waved the two male detectives off and took another approach.

"What about the times you were good, Jonesy? The times Mr. J didn't get mad. What about them?" Margo asked encouragingly.

At the mothering tone in her voice, Jonesy slowly stopped rocking and turned to her with wide eyes. She smiled at him and after a moment he gave her a creepily happy smile in return. As he opened his mouth to speak again, she knew that she had firmly solidified her presence as the "good cop" in this room and that he would most likely respond to her.

"Like when I hid the little boy in the van in the woods and made it look like a news van," Jonesy said, thrusting his arms out and back like an odd exercise move.

"What else, Jonesy? When else were you good enough to get '_Sky_'?" Margo said, ignoring the odd routine and desperately trying to keep up the warmth in her voice.

"When I brought the baby to Mr. J, even though I didn't get her at that...that...farm place like we planned. It was hard 'cause she's supposed to be there every afternoon but I was late 'cause of the little boy. So I followed her to the park and I...I...improvised and got her anyway," Jonesy said, grinning proudly as if he had just told her he had figured out how to cure cancer. "I got a lot of '_Sky_' then. It was good..."

When Jonesy's eyes took on the glazed look from before, they all knew what was coming. Sure enough, the man stopped talking and stared straight ahead at the wall, drool sliding down his chin and into his matted beard.

"I think we got all we're going to get while he's in this state. Get him out of here," Margo said in disgust, waving a dismissing hand at Officer Williams and Dallas. "Put him in a cell until he detoxes."

But as the junkie's words really sank in, Jack's narrowed eyes turned more thoughtful.

"Wait, wait!" Jack said, reaching out to lay a halting hand on Dallas's arm before he could haul Jonesy out of his chair.

"What? What is it?" Dallas asked, looking back and forth from Margo to Jack in confusion.

Jack looked more closely at Jonesy, the wheels in his head turning at an alarming rate.

"You said that you were supposed to take the...the baby...while she was at Emma's farm because that was an easier and more routine target," Jack said slowly. "But when Mattie took Emmy to the park, you had to rethink your plan."

Jonesy didn't say anything, his eyes landing on Jack and then looking away again before nodded twice in rapid succession.

"But Emmy wasn't at Emma's farm all the time. Carly asked her to take Emma that day out of the blue," Jack said.

He was saying his thought process out loud, partially to help explain to the others where he was going and also to make sure it was making sense to him as well.

"The baby that usually is at Emma's is..."

"Eliza," Margo finished, her eyes widening in realization. "You took the wrong baby that day."

At her words, Jonesy full came out of his drug stupor and frowned.

"Mr. J was really mad when I...I brought the other one instead. He was so mad. So mad," Jonesy said, nodding.

He began twisting his fingers and shook his head as he started to rock back and forth again.

"Mr. J began to yell really loud and said he wasn't going to give me my '_Sky_'. I got upset too and I...I think...I think I started yelling about how babies look alike and that I did good because I had already brought him the little boy and besides, this baby was a pretty one so it didn't matter that she was wrong."

Out of the corner of her eye Margo saw Jack's fists clench and quickly placed her hand over the closet one to her, digging her nails into his flesh for added effect. She had felt her blood boiling too but they needed everything they could from his man, who was suddenly so keen on talking again.

"But Mr. J said no, it did matter because, blood...blood is...um...blood is..." Jonesy trailed off.

A few moments of silence passed where he just stared down at his fingers splayed out on the table.

A few prods and calls of his name went unheeded and after timing out five minutes in her head Margo decided to call it quits, thinking that he had zoned out on them again. As the officer by the door moved towards him, Jonesy sat up straighter and began yelling, startling them all.

"Blood is best! Blood is best!" Jonesy said, his voice rising in agitation. "Mr. J said that blood is best!"

He began repeating this phrase over and over while the rocking kept becoming more and more intense. Finally it was so bad that on his way forward he was only inches away from banging his head against the table.

"Jonesy! Jonesy!" Dallas cut in, waving his hands in front of the frantic man, until finally he caught his eye. "Blood is best; that's why James...Mr. J...was so mad at you for bringing the wrong baby. He wanted his own flesh and blood. Right?"

"So mad. He was so mad," Jonesy said, nodding along to Dallas's words. "But then Mr. S came and said...he said it was okay. He said I did a good job. He said I could have my '_Sky_' because I did a good job. The baby didn't matter."

"Of course she mattered! That's my daughter, you son of a bitch!" Jack yelled and before anyone could even react he had Jonesy up against the wall of the room and was shaking him.

"Where is she? Where did you take her? You tell me where she is right now! Right now, goddammit, or so help me, I'll kill you with my bare hands!"

"Let go, Jack! Let go, now!" Margo's voice yelled in his ear which he barely heard over the roaring of his own blood. Vaguely he felt the tugging of strong hands on his arms, trying to forcibly make him let go of the suspect and knew that it had to be Dallas but ignored him as well.

It wasn't until Margo's tone morphed into something less authorities and more beseeching that her words started to get through.

"Jack, if you don't let him go, this guy is going to walk and then we've lost our best chance at getting your daughter back!"

It was like a bucket of cold water had been thrown over him and he froze mid-motion. Looking down at her face and then back at the oxygen deprived criminal in front of him, Jack let go like his hands were on fire.

Jonesy dropped to his hands and knees, gasping desperately for air. Apparently while shaking him, Jack had been unconsciously slamming him against the wall so hard he knocked the wind out of him.

"You'll...you'll be...sorry!" Jonesy said, glaring at Jack. "You wait until...Mr. J finds me and..."

Without warning Jonesy stopped talking and went rigid. His eyes widened a fraction and the main vein in his forehead pulsed before he dropped to the floor like a sack of potatoes and began to violently convulse.

"Get an ambulance! Move!" Margo barked out orders without even glancing over her shoulder as she knelt down by the seizing man. Quickly turning him on his side, she barely avoided being hit by vomit.

A long wet gurgle was heard, along with panicked gasps for air that wasn't getting through. Then, so suddenly it was jarring, it was quiet. After watching Jonesy physically unable to sit still for the past hour or so, to see him lying so motionless was ominous.

In the new lull, Jack looked down to see his hands were shaking violently.

The same hands that had moments before been shaking the life from of the man on the ground.

Silence fell over the interrogation room like a heavy wool blanket. Reaching over to press the pads of her fingers to the still man's neck, Margo suddenly dropped her chin to her chest.

Jack wasn't prepared for the emotions that assaulted him when she looked up and connected gazes with him. Seeing it written plainly on her face, he silently begged her to tell him something different with his own. Closing her eyes and looking away again, Margo just shook her head.

The interrogation door slammed open and a breathless cadet stood in the doorway.

"Chief, the ambulance is here,"

When she opened her mouth to speak the words they all knew were coming, Jack felt a wave of nausea wash over him.

"It's too late. He's dead."


	20. Errors Can Lead to Discovery

**Author's Note: Thank you everyone for your amazing support right now. It's been a roller coaster of a couple of weeks and I am just trying to keep my head up above water with everything that is happening. I can tell you that all three of my family members are holding their own and doing as well as can be expected. The one I am most concerned with is my grandfather (the cancer patient) and we're all just taking that one step at a time. In fact, there is some stuff going down inter-family related that is not unlike a soap opera in itself that has me scratching my head and asking if there's a hidden camera somewhere. This story has been a nice little refuge when I can get to it so please don't think I am purposely ignoring it. If I could, I would do nothing else but lock myself away in my room and type forever.**

**Anyways, I am posting this chapter tonight to make up for last week and I already have one to post for Friday. Hopefully since things are settling down (mostly) I'll be able to get back to that regular Friday schedule I promised. **

**That being said, I hope you enjoy this chapter because there is something that happens in it that to me, and a few fans out there I know (*cough* PJ *cough*), thought should have been addressed a long time ago in the actual show. :) I can't wait to hear your thoughts!**

**Love & Laughter & ENJOY!**  
**~JP**

Family Imperfect  
by Jaclyn Parker

_"A man's errors are his portals of discovery."  
~James Joyce  
_***********************************************************************

As the paramedics wheeled the body from the room, Margo ordered Jack to go her office and not to speak to anyone until she got there. Almost in a trance, Jack obeyed her command without hesitation.

Once seated in the chair across from her desk, Jack placed his head in his hands and tried desperately not to think about the last half hour of his life.

He didn't know how much time had passed but it probably wasn't a lot before Margo appeared. Glancing at him quickly, she entered her office and quietly closed the door behind her.

Seating herself behind her desk, she leaned back in her leather chair and let out a deep sigh.

"How bad is it, Margo?"

Rather than answer him immediately, Margo ran a hand through her shoulder length hair and sighed again. Leaning forward, she placed her elbows on the desk and frowned at him.

"The coroner is making this guy's autopsy his priority right now so we should get preliminary results within a couple of hours. IAB is, obviously, _less than thrilled_ with the situation but I think I can manage to pull them in a bit once we fully explain everything to them and then..."

"Margo," Jack interrupted and she stopped, her mouth open in mid-word.

"_How_..._bad_..._is_..._it_?" Jack repeated and he felt his heart skip a beat when he saw the sheen of tears well up in Margo's eyes.

"I'm going to need your badge and your gun, Jack. From this moment on, you are off the case and..." Margo hesitated to finish her sentence but knew it needed to be done. "You are not allowed to set foot in the precinct or have contact with anyone in an official capacity until IAB says otherwise."

Margo didn't know which was worse, the acceptance in his eyes as he nodded or the self-blame in his hunched over stance as he wordlessly placed the two items on her desk.

"It's not for good, Jack," Margo said, reaching over and placing them into her top drawer without even looking. "Just until we can get some answers from the coroner and IAB and..."

"Margo, stop, please," Jack said.

He held up a hand and shook his head. Leaning over her desk he gave her a brief hug and then pulled away. He walked over to the door but paused before he opened it. Looking back over his shoulder Jack sent Margo such a look of grief that anything Margo would have said stuck in her throat.

"I don't care what happens to me," Jack said, his voice threating to break as he fought to give voice to what was swirling around in his head. In the end he just shook his head again and whispered, "Just please, _please, _find my daughter."

Knowing if he said anything more he would completely lose it, Jack opened the door and walked out, not looking back as he made his way out of the precinct.

He hadn't made it three steps towards the parking lot before he felt an arm fling itself across his shoulders and begin to steer him in the opposite direction.

"Nope, you're heading the wrong way, Big Brother," Brad said, even as Jack tried to shrug his arm off.

"Brad, what the hell...?" Jack started to say but stopped when he saw Holden coming in around his other side. "Guys, I'm not sure what is going on but I am not in the mood."

"Trust me, you're in the mood," Holden said.

Jack immediately recognized that they were heading back towards the precinct but his protests died on his lips as they bypassed the normal entrance and went through the doors that led to the gym instead.

"What is going on?" Jack asked, his brow furrowed in confusion.

"I see I'm not the only one who doesn't have a bloody clue as to what is happening right now," a voice came from the left.

Jack looked over at Lee, his surprise obvious.

"What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be at the hospital?"

"Holden and Brad pretty much blackmailed me to be here. I still don't know why," Lee said, sending a pointed look in their direction.

"I heard about Mattie starting dialysis. I'm sorry, man. How is Molly holding up?" Jack asked, softly.

At the look that crossed Lee's face at the mention of his wife, Jack almost wished he could take the simple question back.

"Molly is fi..." Lee scrubbed a hand over his face stopping the lie he was about to tell from spilling out. "I don't know how much more of this she can take. I don't know how much more any of us can take."

"Which is why you are both here right now," Holden said.

He unzipped his jacket to reveal that he was dressed in a navy shirt with the stable's logo and grey jogging pants. Brad had shed his outwear as well and was similarly dressed except with a WOAK T-shirt with his and Katie's faces on the back. Jack barely had a moment to take in the fact that Lee was also dressed in gym clothes before he was handed a duffel bag.

"I don't..."

"Remember that one summer that we fought over who was going to take Heather Schlofield to the church dance? And how my mom shoved us in the barn, told us to get it out of our systems, and move on?" Holden said, tossing his jacket at the nearby wall.

"Um, from what I recall her exact words were 'when you're finished beating each other up like two idiot savages, come wash up for dinner'," Jack said, unzipping the duffel bag and pulling out a pair of sweats. "And we were twelve."

"Well, it's the same principle," Holden said shrugging.

"No...not really," Lee chimed in while frowning. "I appreciate what you guys are proposing but I really should be..."

"Look," Brad said, stepping up to stand in-between Jack and Lee. "You are both so wound up that you are going to snap."

"I already did," Jack muttered. Brad paused a moment at that but then barreled ahead.

"Yeah, but I know you, Jack. That was the tip of the iceberg," Brad placed his arm around Jack's shoulders. "You really want to be in a similar situation when the rest of it boils over?"

Seeing that Brad had gotten Jack to pause long enough to start to listen, Holden seized the opportunity to address the hesitant doctor.

"And Lee, you said that the test results you're waiting on in the lab won't be ready for at least two hours. Right?"

Lee nodded, somewhat reluctantly at Holden's rhetorical question. With a raised eyebrow, Holden then turned to Jack.

"And we know that you can't go back upstairs until that whole mess is cleared up...which it will be." Holden started, glaring at Jack as he tried to interrupt. "Would you rather go home and hang out with Carly in your condition?"

Jack blanched at the thought. He knew without a doubt that Carly would only try to support him in his IAB investigation but with the excess of emotions he had going on seeing her now would only cause trouble. Given their relationship history, he had no doubt that things would get said that shouldn't be said, most likely by him.

When both Lee and Jack still looked unsure, Brad decided he had enough with both stubborn men. The younger man sighed and crossed his arms.

"Fine, if you can both stand there and honestly..._honestly_...tell us that you wouldn't more clearly about any of this situation without all of that other shit running around in your head then we'll leave you alone."

"There is nothing either of you can do right now, either at the hospital or in the precinct. Why not get everything out now that you couldn't for the past month?" Holden said and then looked deliberately at Jack. "Or the past few years?"

Jack's head snapped up at that and he met Holden's unwavering look. Immediately the rage & betrayal he had carried with him but fought so hard to keep buried rose up. Oh sure, he had talked about the affair between his cousin and Carly with Dr. Mitchell, the therapist he had seen while Carly had been in her coma. It had provided some nice rational closure and Jack had mentally forgiven them both, long ago. However something had always eluded him and Jack couldn't ever quite put his finger on it until now.

It had been the fully male, primal, physical satisfaction of knocking Holden out cold.

"I call Holden," Jack said evenly.

Holden just simply nodded and motioned with his hand towards the locker room for Jack to get changed. It wasn't five minutes later that the sound of boxing gloves meeting flesh was heard echoing throughout the gym.

About an hour later, Holden saw that even though Jack wasn't holding back on his hits they were barely skimming the surface of the emotions that he had pent up. After sending up a brief prayer to help protect whatever parts of Holden's anatomy it could, Holden braced himself and began to taunt.

"Really, Jack, that's the best you can do? A few measly punches here and there? I thought you were some big hot shot back in the day at the FBI. What's the matter? Lost your drive so soon?"

Both Brad and Lee stopped their own light boxing, hearing the tone of Holden's voice and sensing that a shift had happened over in the other half of the gym.

"Are you too tired to keep going? I mean, no one here would be shocked if you were giving up. It's not the first time, right? You let Carly go without a fight all those years ago. It won't be me but who knows who will be there to pick up the pieces this time when you fail. Maybe Craig?"

Jack's eyes widened and he paused, stunned to hear Holden talking to him like that. Even Brad and Lee started forward, their frowns identical.

"Alright, Holden, you can shut up now."

"Yeah, Mate, that's enough."

Holden held up one gloved hand and didn't even glance in their direction. His eyes were locked on Jack's, triumphant in knowing that only a moment ago he had finally seen a glimpse of the anger that had been boiling just below his cousin's calm surface.

"Is it, Jack? Is it enough?" Holden continued to taunt. Firming his resolve once more, he took the plunge he knew there would be no coming back from. "Your daughter's been kidnapped, your sister in law might be dead, you've been suspended from the police force, and the man telling you all of this _slept with your wife!_"

"You sonofabitch!"

Jack lunged for Holden, who quickly sidestepped him and instead threw a punch towards Jack's ribs.

Jack moved in enough time that the blow only grazed him but it was enough to push him over the proverbial edge. As they danced around the mats, they began to speak the truths that had been held in for far too long.

"Come on, Jack, what's the problem? _You_ divorced _her_! _You _left _her_, Jack, even after she begged you not to."

"I know!"

Another swing here; another punch there as they rounded each other glaring.

"Dammit, you were married to Lily! She trusted you! _I_ trusted you!"

"I know!"

A left hook saw Jack's glove connecting with Holden's right eye and had both men stumbling backwards with the amount of force.

From the edge of the mats, Lee made a move to step in and stop it all but Brad placed a now ungloved hand on his arm and shook his head. He had caught on to what Holden was doing five seconds after it had really started and he knew this was a long time coming.

Jack took a punch to the right side and bent into it, cushioning the blow like he had been taught all those years ago in the FBI. Straightening up, he found himself looking directly into Holden's eyes and glared at him.

"I hated you!"

"I..."

"No, Holden, you understand. I _really_ hated you!"

A sudden burst of fury overtook Jack and with a swift uppercut, his fist connected with Holden's chin and sent the older man flying towards the mats. When he landed, Holden felt the air in in lungs completely leave his body and the proverbial stars exploding in front of his eyes. Opening them a few moments later, he saw Jack sitting next to him on the mats, his arms resting on his draw up knees and his head hanging down to catch his breath.

"I know, Jack. I hated me too," Holden said, reclosing his eyes and letting the shame of what he had done to his cousin wash over him again. Slowly Holden sat up and looked at Jack, his eyes nothing but sincere. "If I could take it back, you know I would. But I can't and all I can say now is I'm sorry. I should have said it a long time ago but I didn't...I didn't know how. I just...please believe me; I _am_ sorry."

Jack took in the blood trickling down Holden's split lip and the shiner that his cousin was bound to have in the morning and sighed.

Despite a nice little feeling of male satisfaction, nothing had really changed. The past was the past, and Holden had been there for Jack and his family more times than he could count in the recent years. He and Carly had agreed on a clean slate the night of their wedding and Jack knew in order to really move on, that had to apply this situation too.

"I know you are," Jack said.

He took off one of his boxing gloves and held out his hand. Holden did the same and for the first time in almost four years, they felt like cousins again when they shook.

"But I _don't_ feel sorry for that," Jack said motioning to Holden's black eye. "Or that."

When Jack poked Holden's tender chin the other man jerked away and rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, I know," Holden said, a low chuckle in his voice. "Why don't you just help me up so we can continue this wonderful therapy session."

"Hey, this was your idea, not mine," Jack said as he stood and then pulled Holden to his feet as well.

"Don't remind me," Holden said and tentatively moved his bottom jaw hoping that the clicking sound was normal and not the sign of a broken jaw.

"What do you say we move on to using the punching bag over there provided by the gym instead of each other for targets," Brad said, motioning to the weight bag hanging from a ceiling beam. "In fact, I have an idea. Why not let Jack have at it while we go over the case. Maybe between all of us we can come up with something new."

"What about Lee? This wasn't meant to help just me," Jack said, motioning towards his cousin-in-law.

"I'm okay, Mate," Lee said, a small smile gracing his lips. "Finding this Stenbeck bloke could mean finding a cure for Mattie. If holding a punching bag while you kick the shit out of it accomplishes that, count me in."

"It's not a bad idea, Jack. I know I almost always come up with the answer to a tough question during a run," Holden said, "It's easier to break down the steps of the problem when you aren't over thinking it."

"Come on, Bro, make us your unofficial sounding board while you're hitting the bag," Brad said, shrugging. "It couldn't hurt."

Agreeing, they all moved over to the punching bag where Jack began relaying the facts of the case they knew so far starting with the night Nicole appeared on the doorstep of Milltown. Forty-five minutes later, they were at a standstill.

"Something sounds...I don't know. Incomplete," Brad murmured as he watched Lee hold the bag this time for Jack to punch at.

"I know," Jack said frowning before delivering another hit to the bag. "That's what I keep thinking. There is something we're missing but I can't pinpoint what it is exactly."

"You'll figure it out, Bro," Brad said, moving over to sling an arm around his shoulder and half hugging him. "You always do."

"What if I can't this time, Brad?" Jack asked.

Brad was silent and just hugged him a little tighter. Worn out, Jack leaned forward out of Brad's one arm hold towards the punching bag. Wrapping his arms around the large swinging mass, he placed his forehead against the rough material and closed his eyes.

"Goddammit, I want my daughter back," Jack said. "Don't misunderstand me, I feel sorry for Craig about Johnny and I love Rosanna but sometimes...sometimes I just don't care. All I can think about is my little girl and how I just want her home no matter what the cost."

As if suddenly remembering who was in the room with him, Jack's head flew up and his eyes found Lee.

"I understand, Jack," Lee said, softly. "As hard as it is seeing Mattie in that hospital bed...at least she's here with me."

"What's worse is...I lied to Carly," Jack said, his voice gruff and tears stinging his eyes. "If we don't get Emmy back...I don't think I can...I don't we could survive it."

None of the men knew what to say at that but no time to reply was granted anyway as a voice from behind interrupted them.

"Hmmm, interesting."

Holden, Brad, and Lee all turned to see Carly standing at the edge of the mats. Having recognized the voice immediately, Jack didn't look to his wife. He only backed away from the bag and slumped down to sit on the bench against the wall.

""So you're lying to me now?" Carly continued but there was no malice in her voice only a soft sort of lilt.

The three other men looked at each other, then to Jack, and back to Carly, clearly unsure of what to do.

"I can take it from here, boys, thanks," Carly said with a tender smile.

The men nodded at her and as each one passed her on the way to the door, she leaned up and brushed a grateful kiss to their cheeks. Noticing Holden's injuries and the lack of them on anyone else, she raised an eyebrow. Holden shook his head and murmured that he was fine before telling her he'd have Lily call her later. Lee also paused longer than the other two, reaching out to give her hand an extra squeeze of support. Although she returned the gesture, by this time Carly's eyes were already focused on the huddled man on the bench.

Once Lee had left too, Carly walked over to stand in front of her husband. With his head still hanging down, Jack silently reached out and pulled her to stand between his legs. He lifted his chin up enough that he could rest his forehead against her stomach and wrapped his arms around her waist, holding onto her like a lifeline. She didn't say anything either, just ran her fingers through his slightly damp hair and let her nails gently caress his scalp.

"I killed him," Jack whispered.

Carly's heart broke at the sound of self-crimination and desolation in his voice.

"No, Jack..."

"I did," Jack said, nodding against her body and holding her tighter. "I killed that man and with him, I killed our best chance to get our daughter back."

"Did you go in there with the intentions of killing him?" Carly asked. When Jack hesitated, she quirked an eyebrow. "Not the whole sense of being so mad you make metaphorical statements like 'you could kill him'. I mean, really truly murder him before he could tell you anything."

"No, Jack said. "As much as I hated him, I went in there to get answers to help find our daughter."

"And did you? Get answers I mean. Are there things that we know now that we didn't before?"

Jack frowned and thought a moment, trying to figure out where she was going with this.

"Yes, I think we did. But..."

"Did they collect samples of his clothing? Dirt from his shoes? Eyewitness accounts from people in the park? Did they confiscate Noah's camera? Did they find the shovel and Emmy's...Emmy's diaper bag?"

As she rattled off her questions, even powering through the last one, Jack nodded along.

"Good, then we have other evidence to look through that could tell us where he's been," Carly said.

"Yes, Carly, we have other evidence to go through," Jack said. "But the fact of the matter is we could have gotten more information out of Jonesy if it had not been for me! We could have learned where Stenbeck was hiding them!"

"Maybe, maybe not," Carly said shaking her head. "Think about it, Jack. Do we really think Stenbeck is stupid enough to someone else know where he is keeping Rosanna, Johnny, and Emmy? Would he truly trust anyone with that knowledge, especially a junkie?"

Jack didn't even have to wait for her to finish the question before he was shaking his head in the negative.

"No, Stenbeck would never be able to give up that much control. If they met, it was somewhere remote and insignificant," Jack said.

"See? And _that's_ why you're my G-man," Carly said lowering herself down to straddle Jack's lap.

He couldn't help but smile as he began to understand what she was getting at. However, he was reluctant to admit that she remotely correct in any way, shape, or form, so naturally he joked instead.

"Have you been watching CSI again?"

Carly swatted him across the back of the head lightly, but couldn't help that her lips were twitching upwards.

The amusement faded as he looked into her blue eyes.

"You're taking this pretty well, Babe. Why?"

"Because you give me hope, Jack Snyder, and it's time I gave some back to you. We got a break once, we'll get another one. I believe in you," Carly whispered against his lips before gently pressing a kiss to them. "More than you will ever know."

"I love you, Carly. So much," Jack said.

"Good, because I love you too. And I want you know that I believed you didn't kill him even before I found out that you didn't kill him," Carly said, leaning away from him to press her lips to his forehead.

Jack blinked twice rapidly and then gave her a droll look.

"I...I'm sorry..._what_? I didn't follow any of that."

"Okay, maybe you'll follow this," Carly said and handed him a pile of papers she had laid down on the bench earlier. "It's the coroner's preliminary report."

Jack took it from her and scanned it even as she continued to speak.

"Dr. Richardson found a small device implanted behind this guy's right ear. It apparently was designed to send two electrical charges: one directly into the brain which caused an instant seizure and another that was wired to go straight to his heart, lungs, and liver. There was no amount of shaking him would have caused the damage Dr. Richardson found in his brain or his other organs unless you threw him into a cement mixer."

"That must be what he kept scratching at during the interrogation," Jack said, peering at the Polaroid picture of the device removed from Jonesy's body. "Stenbeck must have put it there as a safeguard in case he ever got caught."

"Makes sense," Carly said, shuddering as she caught a glimpse of the picture again. If you asked her, it was a little too X-Files to not be disconcerting.

"I didn't kill him," Jack muttered as the reality truly set in. He looked up into Carly smiling face.

"Nope," She said, bending down to kiss the tip of his nose. 'You're still my knight in white shining satin armor."

Sitting up straight again, she looked past him towards the gray gym wall and frowned.

"You know, coming from a fashion standpoint, that's a horrible sounding cliché."

Jack laughed, not because she had gotten the metaphor and the 1967 song completely mixed up but because it felt freeing to do so at the moment.

Something occurred to him which had Jack musing back to the interrogation again.

"I wonder if the implant was designed to go off at a random time or if it had a preset trigger," Jack said aloud, to which Carly frowned and shrugged.

"Neither," Lee's voice rang out across the gym floor. Both Carly and Jack turned to see him, Margo, Dallas, Holden, and Brad all walking their way.

Lee waved a bunch of other papers in the air until they small group reached them.

"Just got the rest of the prelim report," Lee said. "And you're not going to believe this."

"Try us," Carly said dryly. Having dealt with Stenbeck more times than she could count, she figured there was nothing that would surprise her now.

"There was a listening device hidden deep within the ear canal. So deep that surgery or an autopsy would have been the only way to discover it." Lee said, reading Dr. Richardson's words directly off the printout.

"We have the tech guys examining it now but they said it is way more advanced than they have seen so far," Dallas said. "We're probably going to have to send it to Quantico to have it analyzed further."

"So, in essence, Stenbeck was listening to our interrogation the whole time," Jack growled, his fingertips biting into Carly's hips to keep him grounded. "That bastard waited until we had enough information as far as he was concerned and then took Jonesy out."

They all sat there in silence, thinking about how one deranged man had been so far ahead of them this whole time and each imagining their own little scenario in killing him. That is until Lee gave a quiet little chuckle and had them all turning their attention to him.

"You know, if I thought his body was in the coffin I'd say dig it up and use him as the punching bag next time," Lee said, running his hand over his face as he muttered. Then almost instantly he shuddered. "Wow, I just got the worst mental picture. This bloke dressed in all black lying in the coffin with a sign that said **'Ha Ha'** across his chest. Like some psycho vampire comedian."

"You know, they don't actually sleep in coffins. They drive Volvos and apparently they sparkle in the sun," Brad said offhand, scratching his head in slight confusion as he thought about what they had all learned.

When he noticed everyone staring at him incredulously he shrugged and glared back.

"Oh right, like I'm the only idiot in the room who has been subjected to watching those stupid movies!"

Despite the situation everyone found themselves with a ready arsenal of friendly jibes to hurl Brad's way when Jack suddenly jumped up from the bench. He whirled a stunned Carly to his side and reached out to clap Lee on the shoulder.

"That's it! Lee, you're a genius!"

"What? What did I say?" Lee asked, his eyes wide at the unexpected excitement that shone on Jack's face.

"The coffin! How did we not even think to exhume the coffin?" Jack said, feeling the urge to slap himself upside the head. "It'd be the first place that James would leave a note...taunting us with failing to catch him again. In fact, if everything hadn't happened so fast it would have been our first step all along."

"Dammit, you're right!" Margo said, feeling the same urge to smack herself for her lack of procedure. "That clue we've all felt was missing is probably in that dammed coffin. He's been waiting for us to figure it out this whole time."

"We need legal permission from his next of kin to exhume the grave," Dallas cautioned.

"That shouldn't be a problem," Margo quipped. "I think I've got Paul on speed dial at this point."

"Okay then," Jack said, squeezing Carly's hand. Seeing her smile at him in encouragement he looked around at the others.

"Let's unbury the devil."


	21. Smiling Through The Pain

**Author's Note: Hi guys! I am so sorry this wasn't up yesterday; it wasn't for lack of readiness, I just just plain forgot. My bad! LOL Anyway, this chapter isn't long but the story is about to hit its crest of the rollercoast so consider this the pause at the top of the big drop and hang on! :)**

**ENJOY!**  
**~JP**

Family Imperfect  
by Jaclyn Parker

_Smile when it hurts most.  
~Unknown  
_

* * *

The first thing that caught her attention was the brass band that seemed to be playing right beside her head. After that it was the continuous sniffles coming from directly in front of her.

Forcing her eyes open seemed a monumental task but after a few tries, they no longer felt glued together. Peering through her lashes, Rosanna caught sight of a pair of bright blue eyes boring back into her own.

Johnny sat on the floor in front of her bed, his nervous fingers playing with his bottom lip. Just as she was about to shut her eyes again, a tiny figure sleeping in the playpen next to him registered and Rosanna fought to maintain her conscious state.

"Emmy?" Rosanna whispered, trying to gather any saliva available to help her dry throat.

"She's okay, 'Sanna," Johnny whispered back. "She's sleepin'."

Wanting to cry at that innocent statement, Rosanna tried to focus on one thing at a time before her head threatened to explode.

"Are you...are you, okay? Did...he...hurt you?"

"Uh-uh," Johnny said, shaking his head slowly. "Are you better now that you got band-aids?"

Rosanna was trying to decide if she wanted to attempt to sit up when she realized that Johnny was referring to the state of her injuries.

Her arm was properly bandaged against a splint and hung neatly in a sling. She tentatively ran her fingertips of her other hand across her ribs and frowned at the stiff bandages she felt underneath her nightgown. The tugging of her brow felt odd and with the same tentative touch she reached up to find a deep laceration on her right temple had been neatly stitched. Continuing her exploration she began to register her injuries. Her final tally consisted of a broken wrist, broken or bruised ribs, the deep cut on her right temple, a possible cracked left cheekbone, a split lip, and a more than likely concussion.

However, she was still alive, as were both children, so she counted her blessings.

Dropping her hand back down to her side Rosanna wondered whether there had been someone from the outside world in their little lair to treat her. She immediately dismissed the thought, knowing that it was more likely that Mr. J...or Mr. S...had acquired the medical training out of necessity over the past years.

"Can you sit up, 'Sanna?" Johnny asked, his index finger still tugging on his lower lip.

'_Without wanting to scream in agony, probably not,_' Rosanna thought to herself.

Instead she threw an encouraging smile in his direction and nodded slowly.

"Of...course, I can...silly goose," Rosanna said.

Seeing his dubious expression, Rosanna knew that she would have to at least attempt it in order to calm his fears.

Rosanna shifted around on the bed, gauging the best angle to push herself up without using the wrist that was tied up in the splint. Finally she swung her legs over the bed, trying to use the momentum to propel her upper half into a sitting position.

Instantly, pain coursed through her veins as red hot as molten lava.

It was so intense that her vision swam and she had to close her eyes to center herself, less she passed out. Breathing as deeply as she could without exacerbating her ribs, she forced herself to push back the overwhelming nausea that had accompanied the pain.

After a moment of rest, Rosanna gathered whatever strength she had left and pulled herself up to lean back against the concrete wall behind her bed. Opening her eyes again, she met Johnny's worried gaze and gave a small, unsteady, smile.

"See? Not...so...hard," Rosanna said.

They both ignored the fact that the sentence was practically panted out or that she had broken into a light sweat at the effort. Instead Johnny sent back a tentative smile of his own. Taking this moment to gather herself, Rosanna looked around the room and instantly catalogued the differences.

Even though it appeared her bed was still against a wall next to a bathroom, she had been moved into a much larger room. The obvious reasons being that there was now a crib and another twin bed situated across from her own sleeping area. It seems that while she was unconscious, it had been more convenient to have all them occupy the same space. Honestly, Rosanna couldn't say that she didn't prefer it this way. Now she could be with the kids all the time. It just bothered her that she didn't know when the change had happened or how long it would last.

"How long was I asleep, Johnny?"

The little boy shrugged and Rosanna frowned. She tried to think of a way to ask him questions that would help her gauge her time loss when she realized it hardly mattered. It was obvious they were in the same situation they had been before her idiotic escape attempt. Instead she focused on the most important part of that realization.

_All _of them were there.

Rosanna reached out her good arm in the direction of the playpen, but she must have moved at an angle her ribs weren't happy with because she almost found herself flat on her back again at the stabbing sensation that followed.

Leaning back again, using the wall as a brace, she willed the image of the sleeping infant to ground her through the haze of pain.

"Emmy?" Rosanna whispered again, her heart pounding in her chest as she directed the question towards Johnny.

The little red-headed boy stood up and peeked over the side of the playpen, adjusting a tiny blanket over Emmy's body before turning to look at Rosanna. He looked like he was struggling to figure out what to say when everything just exploded and words came pouring out of his mouth.

"He brought her back when you was asleep. He said I had to watch her until you woked up and I did, 'Sanna. I did! I gave her bottles liked you showed me and I tried to gives her the stuff in a jar but she only ate the one that smelled like 'nanas and not the smelly green one. And I didn't go to sleep til _she_ was asleeped even though I was really, really tired. I got to talk to my Daddy and my Grandma but then he got mad again and made me go back in the little room and I couldn't tell them where we was and me and Emmy waited for you to waked up to help us but you didn't for a really, really longed time and I was scared!"

Even though most of what he said only registered as a jumbled mess, the fear and loneliness in his tone transcended everything.

Ignoring every single rational thought that told her she was in no condition to hold a small child, Rosanna reached out her good arm to the now sobbing little boy. Yet even as Johnny rushed over to nestle into her side he was as gentle as a hysterical four year old child could be.

Rosanna cooed in his ear as she instinctively rocked side to side, forcing herself to ignore the spasms of pain radiating up and down her body. Soon the crying slowed to the occasional sniffle and hiccup, but his grip on her nightgown didn't waiver. When Rosanna tried to maneuver herself into a position that might be more comfortable, the hiss of pain that slipped out of her mouth seemed to register with the little boy.

"Oops, I forgot. The nice man said I could give you these, if you were hurting," Johnny said leaning back slightly to dig around in his pants pocket.

Withdrawing his hand again he gave her a smile and held out his offering. Rosanna frowned when she saw two large white pills resting in his palm.

Wordlessly she accepted the pills into her good hand and clutched them to her chest. Closing her eyes briefly, she struggled within her mind.

The part of her that wanted to crawl into a hole and die from the almost constant pain, screamed at her to take whatever it was that she had been offered. However, a larger part of her knew that she had to refuse.

Now that she was conscious again, she was once more responsible for Johnny and Emmy and she couldn't risk not being in a clear state of mind if that monster tried anything again.

"And he said to tell you that...um...um...oh, I 'member," Johnny said, trying to repeat word for word what he had been told to relay to her. "He said when you are feeling up to it, you gots to put your pretty dress on again."

Rosanna frowned until she looked across the room and caught sight of a brand new navy blue dress lying across the back of a chair. A strand of pearls had been placed in the center of it, looking all the while to Rosanna like a shiny cultivated dog collar.

Seeing the look on her face, Johnny seemed to interpret the disgust as defiance and began to tremble.

"No, don't make him mad again, okay 'Sanna?" Johnny pleaded, his small heart shaped face alight with fear. "He does bad things when he's mad."

In that instant, Rosanna saw how much damage had been done while she was unconscious and immediately shook her head. Even if she was healthy enough to try another escape plan, she knew that the price of her actions would be too high. Sure, he had backed down on whatever he had initially planned to do with Emmy but the next time...

She wouldn't let there be a next time. Not because of her. Not again.

"Shhhh, just close your eyes, okay?" Rosanna said, pressing a kiss to his soft auburn hair. "I'm here now and it's going to be all right."

Before Johnny could protest again, Rosanna began to hum. The song's lyrics must have been pulled from the recesses of her mind, for she wasn't even that big of a Beatles fan. Yet after a moment the humming easily transformed into singing.

Mid song, Rosanna looked down only to smile sadly when she saw that Johnny had fallen asleep, his tears glistening on his chubby little cheeks.

Taking a shaky breath, she ignored the discomfort of staying in the upright position and just shifted him closer to her. Sneaking a peek at the still slumbering Emmy, Rosanna closed her own eyes and rested her head back against the cold concrete. After a moment she continued to sing, this time for her own comfort. It wasn't until the end of the song that she felt her voice catch and she felt the actual heaviness of lyrics surround her as her voice faded away.

_"__Once there was a way to get back homeward; once there was a way to get back home. Sleep, pretty darling, do not cry and I will sing a lullaby..."_


End file.
